BEAM ME SOMEWHERE! – Marilyn Armstrong

As airlines make traveling by air increasingly miserable, unfriendly, and physically uncomfortable, those of us who yearn to travel but abhor airports and airplanes have been waiting for teleportation.

You know. “Scotty, beam me up” and off you go to another place. It might be earth. It might be an outer planet in another galaxy. It might be … well … the bar in Star Wars of that cool one in Second Generation! Who the hell knows? And who really cares?

Although I foresee a limit on luggage, I’m sure I could work with that. They are making gigantic strides in travel clothing every day!

Warning, though. This is one of the many things we won’t be able to do unless we vote very Blue this November and remove the Orange Menace from the White House. Anyone who feels we need a wall at the Mexican border isn’t going to allow teleportation for just anyone from anywhere to anywhere else.

Certainly, I can’t imagine his nibs allowing ALIENS beaming into the land of the free and the home of the cringing, whining, terrified white people who voted for Orange Peel. If you think brown, red, yellow, or beige people whose native language isn’t English are out to get you, what will you do with a creature with tentacles who loves drinking grout cleaner?

What a bunch of dumbasses. We could own the universe, but instead, we prefer being locked up behind our own walls lest we feel potentially threatened by people who are different than us. And mind you, there is really not a bit of difference between us and the other colors and styles of people. We are all exactly the same, genetically.

Obviously, there are individual differences. Smarter, dumber, more creative, more athletic, totally clumsy — but nothing that you won’t see in any group of people who all have the same coloring or background. Skin and its variations have no effect on intelligence or ability to understand the meaning of the universe.

You know that, right? Nor does not speaking English. Mr. Nobel was Swedish. He didn’t speak American. Einstein was an immigrant. Sam Adams made beer and fomented revolution … and I’m not sure where he was from. Ireland? Scotland? England? Germany? The whole world? And anyway, we are all from Africa because that’s where humanity began. Check it out.

But wait! Orange Gecko won’t be in charge forever! He’s too old! Unless we’ve also invented the no-aging device, he’s going to bite the big one just like the rest of us.

Get those transporter beams revved up. I’m ready!

Let’s open up the world while I’m can still enjoy it. We will take our elderly tricycles and electric wheelchairs with us. Surely they have sidewalks on Betelgeuse.

Let’s transform our cellular material and go with the flow. You ready? I’m definitely ready!

For today’s Ragtag Daily Prompt of Teleport.

Author: Marilyn Armstrong

Writer, photography, blogger. Previously, technical writer. Retired! Yay!

35 thoughts on “BEAM ME SOMEWHERE! – Marilyn Armstrong”

  1. I was chuckling quietly along with this, agreeing. And I saw the line about how ‘we’re all from Africa anyway” and it reminded me of a non-conversation I had with a sibling at our recent reunion. (non-conversations are where one can spout any fact or thought and it bounces right off the brain pan of the other person involved, thereby whizzing around the room until it sets off into space. Nothing is accomplished and the conversation may as well have not happened at all). ANYWAY, sibling and I were discussing that popular trend of having one’s DNA sent to someone else and having one’s ancestry sussed out. I used one company, my sibling another (the one more favored by LDS folks). I mentioned that my DNA chart said we had 1% “African” ancestry. I thought this sibling would have an apoplectic fit right in front of me. “We have NO “black” blood in our family tree!!” he thundered. “NONE! MY DNA test didn’t find any, so there isn’t any. Period.” I offered up the fact that EVERYONE has ‘black blood’ in them, our primitive ancestors came from a continent (not Africa precisely, because of all the plate shifting and other factors that broke up continents in the meanwhile) where negroid was the populace base. “NO!” he kept insisting and finally I said “Fine. Whatever.” He went on to expound on how my DNA company was flawed and obviously didn’t know their business. Ironically we had been discussing the fact that long long ago I cost him an “important’ job, because when they called me for a character reference, I told them he was biased towards other races. Which obviously he is. He was offended (still) about that and grouchy that I didn’t think his ideology was fair and unbiased. *snort* Beam ME up and right soon! Even our closest relations are lacking in the quality of intelligence.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Your brother could use some education about DNA. He has some gaps in his understanding about DNA and the hummable family.
      But the only people who have identical DNA are identical twins. And their brains and other body parts grow differently due to environmental factors including factors prior to birth.

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      1. I’m not even sure identical twins have absolutely identical DNA, but I suppose close enough. But. We all have very similar DNA, We are all human. We all have the same capabilities and can accomplish similar things, depending on individual talents et al. No one group is inherently superior to any other. Just different in culture and style.

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    2. Melanie, I love this share and am smiling. I have Irish blood and am not offended. It partially explains my fondness for spirits. I ended my relationship with those spirits back in ’04 for obvious reasons. You’re right about our closest relatives (and friend) and the quality of intelligence. So very sad.

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    1. Rugby, waiting for spare parts from North Korea before Orange Menace is blasted off into outer space and, hopefully, a distant galaxy.

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  2. There are several places I would like to go now, but the thought of travel does not excite me anymore. The last transAtlantic was a real chore, and as I waited to connect to Chicago in the crappy Dublin airport I thought I might never cross an ocean again. Of course, I still must make it to Boston some day.

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  3. A teleportation device would be great. I do enjoy some aspects of the “getting there” part of travel, like if it is on a train or ship but airports are about as much fun as going to the dentist. What I’d really be happy to do without while travelling is luggage, you have to spend so much time storing it, carrying it, showing it to people and getting it back. There should be a Replicator at every destination so you could just dial up whatever you wanted to wear for the duration of your holiday.

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    1. Douglas Adams made this the point of one of his stories probably 40 years ago, that airports are not only ugly, but they seem to revel in their ugliness. They work at being unattractive in every possible way. It’s so much WORSE now.

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