ONCE UPON A TIME … – Marilyn Armstrong

FOWC with Fandango — Erratic

Once upon a time, I was a total wacko. That is not an exaggeration. In my late teens, I was nuts. Big time.

Fortunately, by the time I hit my twenties, I had settled a lot of my hash. If I wasn’t exactly “normal,” I was no longer completely loony tunes. As the years have rolled on, I have become more “normal” and less crazy until these days, I’m about as normal as I will ever be. So far, so good which is really the story of my life.

I am not particularly erratic. I am, if anything, a bit inclined towards doing being extra careful. I write with great courage, but I walk with utmost care.

I don’t know if this is how life goes for others who started out pretty wild and weird. I have gone through periods of serious depression and with some good psychiatric talk therapy, found ways to climb out of them. I also learned to control a lot of the mind muck that used to turn me into a mental tar pit.

One shrink pointed out to me that depression wasn’t just a feeling. It was a reaction to life, that it could become habitual. You are depressed because you are always depressed and that is how you see yourself, understand yourself.

And from that point, because he hit a nerve with that observation, I began to be happier. I stopped looking for the dark places and started hearing joyful music.

It probably helped that I was madly in love with Garry.

No, you can’t have him. He’s mine.

Author: Marilyn Armstrong

Writer, photography, blogger. Previously, technical writer. Retired! Yay!

9 thoughts on “ONCE UPON A TIME … – Marilyn Armstrong”

    1. It’s funny. It seemed so hard at the time and now, it feels like it was obvious and easy. I suppose because the worst depression EVER was the one following cancer. That one was really bad … and apparently predictable. They actually warned me about it. They also warned me after heart surgery, but by then, I was very practiced in dodging and weaving my way through my mental menaces. I knew what NOT to do and what TO do and how to do it. Practice.

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    1. I used some medication in the beginning, but essentially, I have very negative physical reactions to drugs. But once I could see what “feeling normal” was, it was easier to find that place again. AND, I wasn’t bi-polar. I was depressed only. Not being pi-polar made everything easier.

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  1. And a perfect combination you two are. It’s reassuring and lovely to ‘watch’ you two going about your ‘ordinary’ lives and just loving each other. No words are necessary, it’s just how things are apparently. ❤ I, who have a bitter and extremely negative attitude towards all things matrimonially themed am warmed at the relationship you two have. Thank you for sharing your words and virtual images of your dear one. We're grateful!

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    1. It was the right time for both of us. We really needed each other and we trusted each other. We had been friends and off-and-on-again lovers for many years, but both of us needed something solid. He was finally ready and I was — for the moment — not married to someone else. He was afraid if he didn’t ask when he did, I’d marry someone else. I wouldn’t have, but whatever motivated him worked for me.

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