VIOLATED DAILY – Marilyn Armstrong

FOWC with Fandango — Violation

It’s a daily violation, watching the news. A horror show that won’t go away, the nightmare that rolls into the day.

I’m a woman. I grew up in the world we live in and it was bad, but it was weirdly normal. Do I know any women who were not assaulted, raped, nearly raped, propositioned, abused, or attacked?

The answer is no. If you were out in the world, any and all of these things were part of your daily life. I quit at least two jobs rather than deal with a sleazy, yet dashingly attractive boss. Proving that being good-looking is neither here nor there when you are cornering your assistant for sex.  It really isn’t a matter of whether or not you look good.

We don’t take a job so to crawl onto the sofa with a boss guy. Usually, we are looking for a higher rate of pay and maybe a bit of gratitude for the hard work we do.

I can’t work when I’m being harassed. I doubt anyone can. If you have to spend your days wondering if your underpants line is showing and this faux pas will somehow spark another round of “Hey, sexy, let’s …”, you just can’t get your work done.

Favors you get for sex don’t make you feel better. They make you feel like a cheap hooker. Not one of those well-spoken escorts … I mean the hanging around the street corner willing to do it for enough to buy a cup of Starbuck’s overpriced brew.

To find us in a position of hiring one of these disgusting sleazebags as a Supreme Court Justice — after somehow managing to get the revolting Clarence Thomas in all those years ago — leaves me wondering if we have made any social progress at all. Or ever will.

Is this never going to end? Will there never be a time when a woman can openly complain about the men who persecute her at play and work and often, at home … and be believed?

Will this never end?


Every woman I know has at one time or another been violated. For all I know, it’s not just women, either.

Shame on us. Shame on everyone who puts up with “the way things are.” A pox on all who encourage it then gives it a wink and a shrug because “boys will be boys and that slut must have asked for it.”

Author: Marilyn Armstrong

Writer, photography, blogger. Previously, technical writer. I am retired and delighted to be so. May I live long and write frequently.

25 thoughts on “VIOLATED DAILY – Marilyn Armstrong”

  1. It’s a shame that this is still a public discussion. It’s a shame that some political hacks, afraid of losing their jobs and status, will denounce women who are coming forward with accusations of harrasement. There’s a deep stain on the “reverential” U.S. Supreme Court.
    And, one more time, get out and vote in the midterms to send these people away, far away.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. I’ve watched too much of it over the last couple of weeks — it’s become a bad joke! How can the Senate look at its Judiciary Committee with any respect? How can the country look at them with respect? How can we look at the courts with respect? And we all know now that there are more “accusers” to come out of the woodwork who will lose all respect for themselves due to the questioning they will encounter. ~ ~ And then, overlaid on top of that bad joke is the Justice Department itself!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Slmret, it’s like watching a bad horror film to view the news these days. These dry, withered old (and young) men besmirching women who’ve dared to come forward out of the shadows–and “dare”to accuse their ‘virtuous’ candidate for the highest court in the land. Mitch McConnell, whose lips barely move, is an ogre front for a band of Politicos who should’ve been sent packing a long time ago.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Virtue seems to be a lost value among the current “good old boys” Senate! I love your characterization of McConnell — he has to be voted out, even if he’s not on the ballot!

        Liked by 2 people

  3. I was very happily unaware of this whole mess until yesterday. Yes, I deliberately live under a rock. My health can’t stand the stress of ‘news’. I knew the ‘boy blunder’ in office had put up some unpopular fellow as a Supreme Court Justice and I was wandering around thinking it was mere cronyism (as if that weren’t bad enough). Now it appears that waste of orange paint and good breathable air wants a rapist to sit in the high ‘justice’ seat. I admit to not being at all surprised. The ‘good old boy’s network’ is alive and well, and whereas it was previously mostly confined to states like Utah, now it’s nationwide. Sad. And to me? Equally as discouraging for good men like your Garry, who will bear the brunt of being looked at sideways by unfamiliar women he may encounter. He won’t be alone. Every fellow of good moral character and sound judgment will come under scrutiny because of the acts of a few rotten Joes. And yet the nation at large continues to support that asswipe as “President”. Oh dear Lord. When will our burden be lifted?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Melanie, I understand “life under a rock”. I do that to a certain extent but am driven to watch CNN, etc in the afternoon to catch up on the latest political calamities usually revolving around Donzo.
      I appreciate your comment about “sideways looks” from women ….but it is what it is.
      Just get thee out and vote in the midterms.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. It isn’t a few rotten joes. It’s more men then you want to know about. Generations of them. The privileged men who think they have the right to take what they want from whoever they feel like taking it from. It isn’t rare, it’s not a secret, and it ain’t just a few of them. If it were a few rotten guys, it might be a lot easier to fix, but it is many, many, many men. Prominent men. Rich men. Poor men, Just plain MEN.

      There are good ones around and Garry is one, but there are plenty of sleazebags. Garry is one of the rare ones who does NOT have some woman’s violation on his conscience. His parents had a strong moral center and they made it VERY clear to the boys what was okay … and what wasn’t.

      Liked by 4 people

  4. Well yes. All of it. I do sometimes get stunned that so little progress appears to have been made. I don’t know anyone who didn’t have to put up with this shit, and of course in my professional life, theres more, so much more that my clients have endured. And then to have these sanctimonious condescending blame the woman a**holes pontificating and invalidating the women who have enormous courage. I am paying attention boys, and so are a lot of others who are well and truly sick of this shit. AND WE VOTE!

    Liked by 1 person

          1. I could run pretty fast too, but he also taught me to stand my ground. I remember a ketchup fight we once had….it was messy…. 😉


  5. The double standard must change before women are treated with respect in and out of the workplace. We’ve heard many versions of this scenario: Bill picks up two women at a bar. He is considered lucky. Susan picks up two men at a bar. She is considered a slut. A change can happen but it must be supported by men.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I can barely stomach the news at all anymore and try to avoid it like the plague. I’m sick of the double standards, the conversations, the perceptions. Sickening how women are still treated…and I’ve said before. The years change, people don’t.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I thought by this time in my life, I would have seen significant progress in the way women are treated. The world has changed yet somehow women are still stuck in this quagmire of double standards. I wonder if it will ever really change.

      Liked by 2 people

  7. And don’t you think it is ironic that with him in the judge’s seat, someone raped may not even have the recourse of abortion. Our national reasoning … or at least the reasoning of those who “rule” us has gotten so skewed! Did you see the video of the Latino woman telling Latinos why they should not vote for Democrats because it was the Republicans who had made the U.S. a rich nation that they wanted to come to and that was keeping out other immigrants who would threaten their jobs???? Now I’ve seen and heard everything.Her further rationale was that more government control made for a poorer nation and businessmen less able to rise in the business world. This from billionaires who want to deny health care.. and family planning. Where is the logic???


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