THE SQUIRREL WHO WOULDN’T LEAVE – Marilyn Armstrong

When I bought a second, flat feeder, I knew the squirrels would enjoy it.

You can’t not feed the squirrels unless you live somewhere where there are no squirrels and where might that be? The best you can do is put up feeders which the squirrels won’t destroy.

Let’s hope the bears don’t show up.


So the hanging feeder is metal and guaranteed to survive attacking squirrels and the flat feeder basically says “Come one, come all.”

It took the squirrels about a week to discover the feeders. After that, it took another 48 hours to recognize I am a mere, powerless homeowner. So no matter what I tell them, they don’t have to go.

It’s something about me, I suppose. Garry says I’m a softie and everyone (everything) knows it. The first time I saw a fat squirrel sitting in the flat feeder, I tapped on the window and he was so surprised, he fell onto the deck and hit the stairs at a run.

Times change.

This morning I got up and there was a smaller (girl?) squirrel settled into the flat feeder munching down about two pounds of corn and sunflower seeds. I tapped on the window. She looked me squarely in the eyes and dove back into the goodies. I tapped again. She ignored me completely.

I finally opened the door and said: “Hey, Squirrel Girl, move your butt outta there.” She looked at me and I swear it could have been Bonnie giving me the same look. She took another mouthful of corn and didn’t even twitch.

“I said move it on out. You’ve had enough. Leave something for the other guests.”

No movement. She sat there munching corn. She had a calculating look, the same one I get from the dogs. “How fast can she really run? What’s she gonna do anyhow? Hey, this corn is yummy.”

So I finally went out onto the deck and said: “Run for it, squirrel, or you’re going to be MY dinner.” Very slowly, she emerged from the feeder, climbed down the upright and sat on the railing. Looking at me. I said, “Go. I mean it.”

She walked — slowly — to the top of the stairs and sat there. I approached. She went down a couple of steps. I stomped on the deck. She went down two more steps. I waved my hands around and finally, she left. It was obvious the moment I wasn’t there, she’d be back. Even if I am there, she will still be back. There are fearless squirrels in my forest.

“Are you going to give her a name?” Garry asked.

Goodbye! Actually, she was jumping INTO the flat feeder, not out of it.

This squirrel is not a visitor. She has moved in. She is now one of the kids and will expect high-quality victuals from this day forward.

Author: Marilyn Armstrong

Writer, photography, blogger. Previously, technical writer. I am retired and delighted to be so. May I live long and write frequently.

36 thoughts on “THE SQUIRREL WHO WOULDN’T LEAVE – Marilyn Armstrong”

  1. I have read posts from a few other bloggers who feed squirrels and they seem to become quite fearless almost prepared to come into the house and help themselves so you may have started something here. On the other hand they are so cute how could you mind? We don’t have squirrels here.

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            1. No, not with a squirrel. A squirrel is prey, not a playmate. If you bring them up together, it can work out, but really squirrels don’t make great pets. They are too active, too ADD. They get into everything and they get hurt. It’s not that they aren’t friendly. They are VERY friendly and easy to tame, but they don’t do well in houses with electricity and cords and furniture. They chew and run and jump. They need a woods. Trees. Not coffee tables.

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                1. I knew a kid — a friend of Owen’s when he was a kid too — who was adopted by a squirrel. It was a baby who ran up to him, and just climbed into his arms. He was adorable and rode around on Moses’ shoulder all the time. But he died young. Drowned in the toilet. These are not suitable animals for pets. Most wild animals are not good pets. It’s not a matter of love or caring, but simply temperament. They need a kind of activity that houses don’t allow.

                  Liked by 2 people

  2. LOL! It is obvious you are a newbie to squirrel feeding if you really expect that they’re only going to take their share and go away! Humans have nothing on squirrels when it comes to the deadly sin of greed (or maybe gluttony). Those fuzzy fur coats on your squirrels are so cute! Now that you have the flat feeder, I expect a lot more squirrel pics! It’s a rare treat when I get to see my favorite critters on another blog I follow!

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    1. That one absolutely wouldn’t move. I was pretty sure I could have walked over to the feeder, picked her up and put her on the deck and she STILL would have sat there waiting for more.

      It works out okay. Most of what she likes best — black sunflower seeds and corn — are the parts the birds like least. And when they’ve emptied the flat-feeder, which apparently they have today (it was full yesterday), they will have to wait until the next feeding. I downgraded to a cheaper variety of birdseed, from premium, to “value” because they were going to eat me out of house and home. I have seen the squirrels and birds knock off an easy three or four pounds of food in a single morning, so they will have to cope with a “value” food. I have a feeling when it’s cold enough, “value” will do fine!

      Meanwhile, I’m hoping the bears don’t find us for a while yet. But that squirrel acted like a RESIDENT.

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      1. Once you start feeding them, you will have new residents for life. And yes, even I don’t feed them every day… only a couple times a week. They’ll gorge on whatever you put out there, and then hide the rest…

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  3. I really do hope that bears don’t show up… it’s such a problem out here that we’re encouraged not to put any kind of feeders out at all, and to keep our garbage inside until garbage day.

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    1. I know. The bears are here, but it’s winter and I’m hoping they will find better pickings in town. But — we have the garage ready if we need it. I don’t think our feeders would stop the bears. I’m not even sure our house or DOORS would stop the bears.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t think the squirrels have trouble finding food, even in the winter. It’s an oak woods and there’s a lot of stuff in there for them to eat. I don’t mind them eating what the birds leave behind, but they will have to wait for the next time around.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Reblogged this on Evil Squirrel's Nest and commented:
    Consider this reblog from Serendipity to be this week’s Saturday Squirrel post. My friend Marilyn recently got a feeder specifically for the squirrels to keep them away from her bird feeder, and got these really cool photos of a very hungry and greedy squirrel. I love how fuzzy it is! So imagine the Saturday Squirrel logo here and as always, have a great weekend everyone!

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  5. No, I’m NOT going to read all the comments or we won’t eat at lunch time today…. but I nearly fell off my chair – that’s MY squirrel story in Englan and MY French story with all the neighbours’ cats (plural in both cases). I had a staring contest with one very fat cat who fell off the fence when I chased her (very, very slowly she / he reacted, indeed) and as result she/he shat in my garden for the next 10 days or so!!!! And as I said: a very fat cat…. No wonder, with all the birds food it ate, stolen from my feathered friends and bringing me to the rim of financial ruin 😉

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