Detrimental to Your Health
Don’t eat eggs. They’ll kill you with all that cholesterol. No, wait. Eggs have the good cholesterol. Eat eggs. But not hard cheese. Wait! Real cheese is good for you … but not milk. Never milk. Except for those of you with calcium issues.
Calcium pills are better for you. Nope. We just discovered all vitamin pills are worthless. You need to get back to eating real food.
Except for animal fat (but butter is better) and eggs only on Tuesdays in a month that has 31 days or contains an “R” in it.
Everything is bad for you, good for you, dangerous, calamitous, fattening, helps you lose weight. Or will make you fat for sure.
We used to watch television back in a more benign news era and wait for the killer medical news of the day. Everything that would kill you on Monday (if it didn’t destroy your heart, it would probably give you cancer) and might very well be just what you need by Friday.
We concluded all food is detrimental to your health, but only if you eat it. The only possible solution is to not eat. Give up food.
No, wait. You have to eat, right? Damn, just when I thought I’d worked it all out. Okay, eat — but skip the bacon. It’s not detrimental to your health, but it’s really bad for the pigs.
Categories: #Food, #FOWC, #Health, #News, #Photography, Cooking, Daily Prompt, Fandango's One Word Challenge, Nature
Hahaha so confusing. Loved your post.
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Skip the medical alert news and you’ll be FINE. It’s all hogwash anyway.
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I have cottoned on to that!
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Pass the cranberry sauce … were you saying something?
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I’m with you on the cranberry sauce.
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Here’s the cranberry sauce, hey — stop hogging the stuffing. Yes, I’m talking to you.
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I love stuffing!
(Warning: Side Effects)
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Me too. It’s the best part of the bird. I could skip the turkey and just eat the stuffing.
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I wonder if cannibal societies have had this same problem?
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Probably. I bet there are parts of people that you aren’t supposed to eat because there’s too much cholesterol. You just gotta watch that stuff.
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Chandler, I am worried about you.
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Now I know you’re paying attention.
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Chandler, you betcha your bippie.
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I like the post and all the comments! Very sensible…..
A choc & red wine diet is totally cool – I’m living up to that recipe and I’m just fine – especially around Christmas. Works a treat!
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If ONLY I were a drinker!
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I’ll have a refill. I can take it.
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Life is deadly. It has nothing to do with food.
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That’s it! Let’s just not be born at all!
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Right?
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It would simplify so many things. Let me count the ways …
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We’d miss out on stuff, though.
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Yeah. Like … y’know … LIFE.
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Ah, the disease o the day. Such longing for a controllable life we have. And no matter what, it’s fatal. Laugh and enjoy!
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It started with eggs. Bad for you. Nope, good for you. Oh, wait … maybe not exactly good. Maybe only good sometimes. Or … well … Every single day, there was a medical crisis on the news. They had a special crisis doctor. I’m sure if you actually were to try and follow their directions, you’d totally lose it. You’d never remember what you were supposed to eat. Garry is yelling at me about typing. I have to stop now because he’s right.
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Hey, I wasn’t yelling at you. I was speaking with concern about your wrist and arm. Yeesh!
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I just enjoy food. Just don’t overdo the eating thing.
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Pat, that’s the ticket. Eat, enjoy and listen to your tummy.
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I ignore my tummy, makes too many noises and always has something to say
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Pat, get a second opinion on your tummy noise.
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No second opinions, my tummy is telling me evreything is normal and second opinions cost money.
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I try to make a semblance of peace with my gut. Sometimes, it works. Sometimes, absolutely NOT. But it has a life of its own. I just tag along.
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I had my second (small) piece of cheesecake in 3 days last night. It was yummy and my stomach wasn’t angry with me. Glad we didn’t have any other ready to eat goodies around. Temptation grows stronger at night. I’m a salt (pretzels, etc) and sweets (apple thingies) addict. I have a mental prober that listens to my stomach. 10pm really is last call for guilty treats.
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Not supposed to watch TV unless you do it standing up ~ sitting will kill you!
Great post!
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Darn, Paula. I’m dead — on the living room sofa. Where’s the remote?
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Ha ha ha!! So true!!
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Scribbles — don’t laugh. Laughing is bad for your digestion. So sez Donzo’s Surgeon General.
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Too bad… better to die happy than deluded!!
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Scribbles, I agree. We’ll have the last laugh yet.
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We will no matter what!! 😂🤣😂🤣
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And breathing. Breathing is really bad. 😀
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Breathing is bad? Oh, Geez! Now you tell me. Hold on, Widd, I have some surgical masks stashed in the bathroom closet, Guess I may live to see tomorrow and more banned things.
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So so true. Just wash your hands before every bite full or you wind up in bed like me with amoebas. Again! So, it’s back to the ten day course of Flagyl three times a day. The inevitable yearly curse, no matter how careful I am.
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My first husband never quite got rid of the Flagyl. He became (eventually) allergic to the medication and I think it never really left his system. I still don’t know where he got it, but it certainly wasn’t from any lack of sanitation!
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Life, I read somewhere that the hand wash lotion is bad for you. Might’ve been one brand. Don’t recall. Amoebas? I remember them from High School Science which I never really grasped. Remember the plastic bag ban? They’re still using them. I won’t rat out who. We use the plastic bags to line our little garbage/trash cans. Back to paper bags? They used to be home for vermin before we switched to plastic bags. What the heck will the guy say to Benjamin in “The Graduate” when he reveals the magic word about success in life?
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I try to just use soap and water, but now and then the disinfectant comes in handy in an emergency.
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I figure I can’t go wrong with chocolate and red wine.
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I gave up following directions. They changed their minds every day, so now, I just eat. Red wine and chocolate? Sound good to ME.
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I like your style.
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I agree, a diet of chocolate and red wine – can’t beat that!
Leslie
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seems a good idea, except they are my two biggest headache triggers. Always something.
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I can’t drink (never could). Makes me really sick and it makes me really sick really FAST. I stopped liking chocolate a few years ago, though I remember loving it when I was younger. Funny how tastes change, though, isn’t it? My son who has ALWAYS hated fish suddenly loves clams and shrimp. I don’t like chocolate and Garry suddenly has a sweet tooth. He was always more into the salty stuff.
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It is curious how things can change so much.
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