QUEST: HOW TO HAVE A SHUTDOWN WITHOUT SHUTTING DOWN? Marilyn Armstrong

01/16/2019 / Marilyn Armstrong / 32 Comments

RDP Wednesday – QUEST

The government has recalled all the airline repair and inspection — and engineering — guys to work. It’s too dangerous, they said, to not have them working. The government is also calling back the TSA guys because it’s dangerous to not have them, either, and closed airports are not helping anyone.

And finally, yesterday, the IRS recalled more than half its workers. Haven’t you heard? It’s tax time … and if we don’t have tax people working, there won’t be any money coming in which definitely wouldn’t make anyone happy, at least not in the government.

How long before they recall the food inspectors? And everyone else?

Bit by bit, group by group, they will recall all of the ousted (outed?) workers. I’m pretty sure the Trump will eventually realize that he cannot serve foreign dignitaries McDonald’s, either. He doesn’t care, but other people will.

We aren’t going to end the government shutdown. We will have a permanent shutdown during which everyone works. This will continue to be a government shutdown — even though nothing is shut.

Protesters rally in Federal Plaza against the partial government shutdown, Thursday afternoon, Jan. 10, 2019. | Ashlee Rezin/Sun-Times

Life, such as it is, can proceed more or less normally. This will make Trump feel like his two-year-old behavior is “doing something” while his moronic base can feel he is keeping his word.

NOTE: How can Trump be considered as “keeping his word” when he has never kept his word? About anything?

I’m sure this will be considered a “win” for everyone. People will work, the government will govern, Trump will believe his tantrum is accomplishing something …. and we can march forward to the next election.

You think?

DO YOU HAVE THE KEYS TO THE UMBRAGE? – Marilyn Armstrong

01/16/201901/16/2019 / Marilyn Armstrong / 26 Comments

FOWC with Fandango — Umbrage

When I was a teenager (I actually was one, a long time ago!), I thought the word “umbrage” was hilarious. People took the Chevy or the Pontiac … but I wanted to drive the Umbrage. I figured it would be the perfect car to drive in a thoroughly annoying world.

“Would you like a taxi, madam?”

“No thank you, Jeeves. I’ll just take Umbrage!”

Is this a classic Umbrage or what?

A classic hot rod Umbrage

Off I would drive in my Umbrage. No matter how fretful, disgruntled, and generally pissed off at the world I was, my Umbrage would always understand.

An Umbrage that looks like an Umbrage should

Nonetheless, despite my entreaties, no one has had built a driveable Umbrage. These days, I think a self-driving Umbrage would be even more satisfactory.

There’s always the Oscar Meyer dog-day Umbrage special

Given the state of the world at the moment, I believe now is that perfect the time for a mobile Umbrage. Everyone is so stressed and mentally messed up, the moment may finally have arrived.

For the executive taking Umbrage

“Madam, we are offering the Umbrage in dark blue, silver, beige, black, and of course the ever-aggravating orange.”

“Thanks. I’ll take orange.”

BEFORE THE PARADE PASSES BY

01/16/201901/15/2019 / Rich Paschall / 14 Comments

Carol Channing

“I did everything that I ever thought was marvelous.”

It is a universal sentiment: the desire to do the things you enjoy in life while there is still time left. As you get older, you may feel life, and time, passing you by. If you have deep motivation, you will join the parade before it is too late.

When Carol Channing was young, she fell in love with the theater. So she went to New York City to seek not just fame and fortune, but those Broadway roles that would make her feel alive. She found them.

She started in 1941, and in 1949 she achieved her big success when she played Lorelei Lee in “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.”

She continued on with Broadway success until she hit the biggest Broadway success of all, Dolly Levi. “Hello Dolly” is the musical version of “The Matchmaker” with music and lyrics by the prolific Broadway songwriter, Jerry Herman.

Carol Channing and David Burns, original run

The widow Dolly was the marriage matchmaker who is asked to find a match for the unmarried, “half millionaire” Horace Vandergelder. Eventually, Dolly advises her dead husband, Ephram, that it is time to move on with her life and find her own match. She sets her sights on Horace before it is too late:

Channing found success in movies and television as well as Broadway, but the theater was her greatest love. “It’s very healing. Everybody has their safest place on earth and mine is center stage.”

In 1974 more success came with the musical Lorelei which ran 320 performances, based on the character Channing created in “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.” The showed toured the country for almost a year before hitting the Broadway stage. Along the way the show was being rewritten and fixed up for the Great White Way and fans turned out to see Carol.

The parade never passed Channing by. She picked up Tony Awards, a Golden Globe, an Academy Award nomination and legions of fans who stayed with her to the end. She performed her most iconic role, Dolly Levi, over 5000 times through the original run, three revivals, a West End run and national tours. She never tired of the matchmaker who decided to make her own match.