ARE WE THERE YET? SHORT FICTION FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY – Marilyn Armstrong

“Oh shut up. Can’t you kids ever stop squabbling back there? I’m going to put both of you on a time out, I swear I am.”

“But MOM, he TOUCHED ME!”

“Loretta, I am going to touch you and then you will have reason to cry. Joey, leave your sister alone.”

Voice of boy child with a strong adenoidal whine: “But MOOOOOOM, she’s taking up the whole back seat and I can’t help touching her. And why can’t I touch her? She touches me all the time.”

“She does what??”

“I do not”

“Do too.”

“DO NOT!@!”

{Long pause.}

In a whisper: “Do too.”

“Do not.”

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A booming baritone from the front seat, the Voice of Dad, speaks: “One more word out of either of you and I will stop this car and you will both be crying and you’ll have a damned good reason.”

{Whispers}

“Do not.”

“Do too.”

{Pause, pause, pause}

The sound of vomiting fills the car along with a sickening and pungent odor.

“Ew. Yuk. MOM he barfed all over me! Make him clean it up.”

Chorus:

“ARE WE THERE YET?”


This show has been brought to you by Happy Family, the breakfast cereal that’s got it all … sugar, food dye, trans-fat, and gluten. And no, we are not there yet.

7 AND THREE-QUARTERS NUTTY – REBLOG from “A Guy Called Bloke and K9 Doodlepip!”

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7 and Three Quarters Nutty

Gobbledy gwook and wackadoozies! Duckwittery and blongos, krazy with a capital Z and mango madness – l know, like what on earthlings are you on about alien? We come in peace or is it little pieces or maybe even just peso’s? It’s irrelevent really when you think about it, and silly if you don’t, but there are questions, and then there are questions, so without further ado here we are again with 7 and Three-Quarters Nutty back again to continue with Season one – downright quizzical fun!

There are no rules, no tagging, so if you want to reblog or share, by all means, feel free to do so. The only request l have is to include a pingback (address is: https://aguycalledbloke.blog/2019/02/03/7-and-three-quarters-nutty-4/) so l don’t miss out on any of the battiness! Failing that, by all means, please feel free to simply answer the questions below.

7 and Three-Quarters Nutty Created by A Guy Called Bloke and K9 Doodlepip!


 

How Bizarre!

Don’t just answer these questions with quick one word answers, but give them some thought! Throw yourself into it. Note: Throw your SELF into it. Not me: YOU. Because I’m just passing this along. 


If you could morph two animals to make one super animal, what two animals would you choose? Why?

What are three items you could buy together at the grocery store to make the cashier laugh?

If animals could talk, which would be the rudest?

What kid’s movie did you think was too scary when you were a child?

If you were arrested with no explanation, what would your friends and family assume you had done?

Which is by far the smelliest cheese?

What’s been one of your funniest nicknames?

What would be the worst “buy one get one free” sale of all time?

If you were held at gunpoint and told that if you didn’t impress them with your dance moves you would be killed, what dance moves would you bust out? [Video link required]

In the event of the apocalypse, what three places are you going to first to gather supplies?

How do you feel about putting anchovies and olives on your pizza?

What would be the creepiest thing you could say while passing a stranger on the street?

What are the three best things about you that you wouldn’t put in your bio on a dating profile?

Answers please on the inside of the outside external side to inside lip of Pythagoras!!


I thought the questions were interesting, but I don’t feel like answering them because anything in which someone talks about dating is coming from a different universe than mine.

As for you, feel free to answer here (in comments) — or answer on your own blog. Don’t forget to include a link to Rory’s blog (https://aguycalledbloke.blog/2019/02/03/7-and-three-quarters-nutty-4/) !