ARE WE THERE YET? SHORT FICTION FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY – Marilyn Armstrong

“Oh shut up. Can’t you kids ever stop squabbling back there? I’m going to put both of you on a time out, I swear I am.”

“But MOM, he TOUCHED ME!”

“Loretta, I am going to touch you and then you will have reason to cry. Joey, leave your sister alone.”

Voice of boy child with a strong adenoidal whine: “But MOOOOOOM, she’s taking up the whole back seat and I can’t help touching her. And why can’t I touch her? She touches me all the time.”

“She does what??”

“I do not”

“Do too.”

“DO NOT!@!”

{Long pause.}

In a whisper: “Do too.”

“Do not.”

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A booming baritone from the front seat, the Voice of Dad, speaks: “One more word out of either of you and I will stop this car and you will both be crying and you’ll have a damned good reason.”

{Whispers}

“Do not.”

“Do too.”

{Pause, pause, pause}

The sound of vomiting fills the car along with a sickening and pungent odor.

“Ew. Yuk. MOM he barfed all over me! Make him clean it up.”

Chorus:

“ARE WE THERE YET?”


This show has been brought to you by Happy Family, the breakfast cereal that’s got it all … sugar, food dye, trans-fat, and gluten. And no, we are not there yet.

Author: Marilyn Armstrong

Opinionated writer with hopes for a better future for all of us!

20 thoughts on “ARE WE THERE YET? SHORT FICTION FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY – Marilyn Armstrong”

  1. Many years ago we drove to Florida from the north of Canada with three small children, one still in diapers. That was a trip to remember….chuckle…
    Leslie

    Like

  2. And eerily you’ve raised a faded ghost in my memory. Long drives in my mother’s various old cars, and my siblings (there were the three of us) arguing about who got to sit by the window, and who was touching who, and someone bawling eventually because someone else smacked them for touching them. My mother, a mediocre driver at best, would eventually snap and the screaming would stop all of us from making any noise whatsoever until we got where we were going. No ice cream for us…

    Like

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