VICTIMS OR PERPETRATORS? TAKE YOUR BEST GUESS! – Garry Armstrong

FOWC with Fandango — Victims or Perps?

Marilyn and I follow lots of those TV procedural crime shows. We anticipate all the cliché lines.

“Stay in the car”

“He was turning his life around.”

“Everyone loved him.”

“No one was supposed to get hurt!”

Two dog

We usually figure out who the “vics” and “perps” are before the coppers and lawyers find the answer. Often before the credits finish rolling. Now, fiction has turned to cold, hard reality in our home. We are the victims. Not the mob, not the cabal, not even some local mokes looking for an easy score.

It’s an inside job and the perps are our DOGS!

If you look beyond the fence, you’ll see Gibbs and the Duke by the front steps

They’ll smile, offer constant affection and cheer us up when we aren’t feeling good. But it’s part of their sting.

Food is the motive. Their “jackets” are full of priors. Most are misdemeanors but now they’ve moved up the chain to a felony. Bonnie, our beloved Scottie, is the boss. She leads the furry gang in snatches, intimidation, assault (head butting), larceny and perjury.

We’ve tried to turn their lives around with extra Christmas goodies, more fun battles on the love seat and long chats to emphasize our affection.

Alas, but Bonnie and her accomplices are food-driven. Hunger stalks them, often immediately after a full meal. With leftovers thrown in.

Nothing we do can stop this furry reign of terror. We don’t want to profile Bonnie because she is black, and we are afraid of possible lawsuits. Perhaps the IA people can check out her background.

Bonnie, driven to revenge, is hell-bent on retribution because … we’ve put her on a diet. Bonnie is relentless in stealing Marilyn’s food. She stalks Marilyn and refuses to back down when confronted. The other dogs make sure Bonnie’s six is protected.

We’ve tried so hard to show them the path to a good life but their crimes are senseless.

Generosity… That was our first mistake.

Author: Garry Armstrong

As a reporter for Channel 7 in Boston for 31 years, I was witness to most of the major events affecting the region. I met a lot of people ... politicians, actors, moguls, criminals and many regular folks caught up in extraordinary situations. Sometimes, I write about the people I've met and places I've been. Sometimes, I write about life, my family, my dogs and me. Or what might otherwise be called Life.

42 thoughts on “VICTIMS OR PERPETRATORS? TAKE YOUR BEST GUESS! – Garry Armstrong”

        1. I wish I were. Yesterday, The Duke broke into my office which has become the storeroom since getting in and out of the attic is way too treacherous these days. But the door is always closed unless I’m getting something from the printer or rebooting the router, both of which are in there. Garry saw him nose planted on the glass.

          He told me about it later, so I assume the door must be open.

          The door was firmly closed. I didn’t close it. Garry didn’t close it. It only has a doorknob and I’m pretty sure Duke lacks the thumbs to make it work. Yet the door was definitely closed. So … how did he close that door? Any thoughts?

          Liked by 1 person

  1. This brought a tear to my eye. Enjoy your ‘gang of three’, because they are there to amuse and ambush you, and most of all love you. Unconditionally. That last thing there (to me) is the most precious thing a person can hope for.

    Speaking of ‘hope”, please advise Marilyn that she got nominated to do a “hopeful” challenge. Details are on my blog. Thanks Garry!! Those pictures are AWESOME! 🙂

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  2. It reminds me of my cats, who are a non-stop indoor crimespree. We call the one boy “Heaval” Barty, since it evokes evilness and also the upheaval that he causes–we go into the bedroom and large tufts of catfur are strewn all over the bed, each clearly pulled out of his siblings and very little pulled from him. There is always something that needs investigation and, often, repair–

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    1. When cats make trouble, they REALLY make a LOT of trouble. We used to have cats. At one point, I had quite a few. I maxed out at six or seven. Hard to remember. Cats jump. An evil cat can eliminate every breakable object in your house. And they did. That’s why I don’t have cats anymore — that and we have a doggy door and pet cats get eaten by coyotes.

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  3. Just wondering what kind of door handle it is. I used to have a cat who could open doors by jumping up and hitting the door handle, it was one of those long ones. If Duke can open a door with a round doorknob he is clearly an alien in a dog suit.

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