VICTIMS OR PERPETRATORS? TAKE YOUR BEST GUESS! – Garry Armstrong

FOWC with Fandango — Victims or Perps?

Marilyn and I follow lots of those TV procedural crime shows. We anticipate all the cliché lines.

“Stay in the car”

“He was turning his life around.”

“Everyone loved him.”

“No one was supposed to get hurt!”

Two dog

We usually figure out who the “vics” and “perps” are before the coppers and lawyers find the answer. Often before the credits finish rolling. Now, fiction has turned to cold, hard reality in our home. We are the victims. Not the mob, not the cabal, not even some local mokes looking for an easy score.

It’s an inside job and the perps are our DOGS!

If you look beyond the fence, you’ll see Gibbs and the Duke by the front steps

They’ll smile, offer constant affection and cheer us up when we aren’t feeling good. But it’s part of their sting.

Food is the motive. Their “jackets” are full of priors. Most are misdemeanors but now they’ve moved up the chain to a felony. Bonnie, our beloved Scottie, is the boss. She leads the furry gang in snatches, intimidation, assault (head butting), larceny and perjury.

We’ve tried to turn their lives around with extra Christmas goodies, more fun battles on the love seat and long chats to emphasize our affection.

Alas, but Bonnie and her accomplices are food-driven. Hunger stalks them, often immediately after a full meal. With leftovers thrown in.

Nothing we do can stop this furry reign of terror. We don’t want to profile Bonnie because she is black, and we are afraid of possible lawsuits. Perhaps the IA people can check out her background.

Bonnie, driven to revenge, is hell-bent on retribution because … we’ve put her on a diet. Bonnie is relentless in stealing Marilyn’s food. She stalks Marilyn and refuses to back down when confronted. The other dogs make sure Bonnie’s six is protected.

We’ve tried so hard to show them the path to a good life but their crimes are senseless.

Generosity… That was our first mistake.



Categories: #FOWC, Daily Prompt, dogs, Garry Armstrong, humor, Photography

Tags: , , , , , , ,

42 replies

  1. Sure, Garry–blame the poor defenseless pups, perps, whatever…

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  2. LMAO that was perfection! and sooooo true!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahaha

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  3. This almost sounds like “roomie.” I can not let him read this. I don’t want him to get any ideas.

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  4. Just wondering what kind of door handle it is. I used to have a cat who could open doors by jumping up and hitting the door handle, it was one of those long ones. If Duke can open a door with a round doorknob he is clearly an alien in a dog suit.

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  5. Especially Bonnie. Lifting her is like lifting four cinder blocks.

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  6. They look slimy and underfed to me. 😀

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  7. It reminds me of my cats, who are a non-stop indoor crimespree. We call the one boy “Heaval” Barty, since it evokes evilness and also the upheaval that he causes–we go into the bedroom and large tufts of catfur are strewn all over the bed, each clearly pulled out of his siblings and very little pulled from him. There is always something that needs investigation and, often, repair–

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  8. This brought a tear to my eye. Enjoy your ‘gang of three’, because they are there to amuse and ambush you, and most of all love you. Unconditionally. That last thing there (to me) is the most precious thing a person can hope for.

    Speaking of ‘hope”, please advise Marilyn that she got nominated to do a “hopeful” challenge. Details are on my blog. Thanks Garry!! Those pictures are AWESOME! 🙂

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  9. A dog’s gonna do what a dog’s gonna do.

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  10. Love this funny take on what it’s like to have dogs driven by their tummies:)

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  11. You’re dealing with a hard bunch of critters there Garry. I hear they even have a weapons felony with the scissors.
    Leslie

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I think Duke is the head “Goodfella” now. A Cody Jarrett clone.

    Like

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