FOWC with Fandango — Victims or Perps?
Marilyn and I follow lots of those TV procedural crime shows. We anticipate all the cliché lines.
“Stay in the car”
“He was turning his life around.”
“Everyone loved him.”
“No one was supposed to get hurt!”
Two dog
We usually figure out who the “vics” and “perps” are before the coppers and lawyers find the answer. Often before the credits finish rolling. Now, fiction has turned to cold, hard reality in our home. We are the victims. Not the mob, not the cabal, not even some local mokes looking for an easy score.
It’s an inside job and the perps are our DOGS!
If you look beyond the fence, you’ll see Gibbs and the Duke by the front steps
They’ll smile, offer constant affection and cheer us up when we aren’t feeling good. But it’s part of their sting.
Food is the motive. Their “jackets” are full of priors. Most are misdemeanors but now they’ve moved up the chain to a felony. Bonnie, our beloved Scottie, is the boss. She leads the furry gang in snatches, intimidation, assault (head butting), larceny and perjury.
We’ve tried to turn their lives around with extra Christmas goodies, more fun battles on the love seat and long chats to emphasize our affection.
Alas, but Bonnie and her accomplices are food-driven. Hunger stalks them, often immediately after a full meal. With leftovers thrown in.
Nothing we do can stop this furry reign of terror. We don’t want to profile Bonnie because she is black, and we are afraid of possible lawsuits. Perhaps the IA people can check out her background.
Bonnie, driven to revenge, is hell-bent on retribution because … we’ve put her on a diet. Bonnie is relentless in stealing Marilyn’s food. She stalks Marilyn and refuses to back down when confronted. The other dogs make sure Bonnie’s six is protected.
We’ve tried so hard to show them the path to a good life but their crimes are senseless.
Generosity… That was our first mistake.
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Categories: #FOWC, #Photography, Daily Prompt, dogs, Garry Armstrong
SERENDIPITY - SEEKING INTELLIGENT LIFE ON EARTH 
😹😹😹😹😹
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Three slightly insane dogs, two helpless elderly adults. They need us for the food. Otherwise, I’m pretty sure they’d take over the place. Wait a minute. They already HAVE taken over the place.
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Wait a minute…. don’t let them eat YOU!! 😹😹
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Sure, Garry–blame the poor defenseless pups, perps, whatever…
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POOR DEFENSELESS PUPS? Are you mad? WE are the victims!
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hahah! They all look so sweet and innocent! 😀
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It’s a ruse!
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LMAO that was perfection! and sooooo true!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahaha
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This almost sounds like “roomie.” I can not let him read this. I don’t want him to get any ideas.
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Duke is like a really badly behaved roomie but he doesn’t speak a human language. And yet … I wonder.
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Roomie sometimes doesn’t speak a human language, but he is taking classes so I can understand the cross between whatever and whatever…
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Just wondering what kind of door handle it is. I used to have a cat who could open doors by jumping up and hitting the door handle, it was one of those long ones. If Duke can open a door with a round doorknob he is clearly an alien in a dog suit.
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That is my theory. I’m actually working on a post about that. But I can’t write when he can see the computer. I’m afraid I’ll give HIM some ideas!
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Especially Bonnie. Lifting her is like lifting four cinder blocks.
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They look slimy and underfed to me. 😀
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It reminds me of my cats, who are a non-stop indoor crimespree. We call the one boy “Heaval” Barty, since it evokes evilness and also the upheaval that he causes–we go into the bedroom and large tufts of catfur are strewn all over the bed, each clearly pulled out of his siblings and very little pulled from him. There is always something that needs investigation and, often, repair–
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When cats make trouble, they REALLY make a LOT of trouble. We used to have cats. At one point, I had quite a few. I maxed out at six or seven. Hard to remember. Cats jump. An evil cat can eliminate every breakable object in your house. And they did. That’s why I don’t have cats anymore — that and we have a doggy door and pet cats get eaten by coyotes.
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Oh, sad for them.
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This brought a tear to my eye. Enjoy your ‘gang of three’, because they are there to amuse and ambush you, and most of all love you. Unconditionally. That last thing there (to me) is the most precious thing a person can hope for.
Speaking of ‘hope”, please advise Marilyn that she got nominated to do a “hopeful” challenge. Details are on my blog. Thanks Garry!! Those pictures are AWESOME! 🙂
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As I said: They make us crazy and they keep us sane. And they manage to do both at the same time!
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A dog’s gonna do what a dog’s gonna do.
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But what IS that?
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If you know the answer to that question, you must be a dog-whisperer.
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I wish I were. Yesterday, The Duke broke into my office which has become the storeroom since getting in and out of the attic is way too treacherous these days. But the door is always closed unless I’m getting something from the printer or rebooting the router, both of which are in there. Garry saw him nose planted on the glass.
He told me about it later, so I assume the door must be open.
The door was firmly closed. I didn’t close it. Garry didn’t close it. It only has a doorknob and I’m pretty sure Duke lacks the thumbs to make it work. Yet the door was definitely closed. So … how did he close that door? Any thoughts?
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As the dyslexic man once said, “Dog works in mysterious ways.”
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I like that. I’m going to add it to my collection of random quotes 🙂
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Oh, I’m gonna adopt that one (too)!!!!
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Feel free! 😉
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Love this funny take on what it’s like to have dogs driven by their tummies:)
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Duke is not food driven. He’s just DRIVEN. Oh, what evil lurks in the hearts of dogs whose main role in life is to sleep on sofas.
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You’re dealing with a hard bunch of critters there Garry. I hear they even have a weapons felony with the scissors.
Leslie
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We found the other half and have taken them away. But they will find more. They have taken the dark path.
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How can you sleep at night?
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It’s like having a new baby. You sleep with one ear listening for the sound of trouble.
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that sound wearing….
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😊
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They drive us crazy and they also keep us sane.
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Just like kids.
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Worse. Owen at least could be threatened. The dogs KNOW we aren’t going to do anything but yell at them so they completely ignore us.
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That’s true.
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I think Duke is the head “Goodfella” now. A Cody Jarrett clone.
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I STILL want to know how he closed the office door. There are many mysteries surrounding him. Is he even who he claims to be? Is he really a human wrapped in a dog suit?
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