KEEPING THE WATCH – Marilyn Armstrong

FOWC with Fandango — Watch

Lately, I’ve been convinced there’s a brain tumor in my head, so I was glad to get to the neurologist. Finally.

We always laugh at how gorgeous TV doctors are. This one could go directly to her own TV series, no problem. She is beautiful and Garry paid very strict attention to every word she said. I don’t think he ever paid better attention to any doctor in his entire life.

Mostly what she was doing was asking a lot of questions. This can be confusing because a lot of stuff happened a long time ago and frankly, I simply don’t remember. Did I ever fall on my head?

Probably but who knows? Did I ever have meningitis? Well, actually, yes, I did. In Jerusalem. It got into the water and pretty much everyone in the city picked up viral meningitis. Viral (as opposed to the bacterial kind which may kill you) just makes you wish you were dead by giving you a raging high fever, a headache which is like every headache you’ve ever had in your entire life packed into one huge pounding head … and a full body rash. This is what makes it unique. The rash. Otherwise, it could as easily be Typhoid or Tick Fever or any of a number of insect or water-borne diseases.

We all watched me try to walk toe-to-toe (a lot of weaving — I’d never pass the drunk/sober test) and I took a computer test to see if I’m getting Alzheimer’s (probably not yet, but the future remains bright), and whether or not I can remember and recognize random patterns on a screen without a damned mouse to manipulate.

The controls on the machine were really aggravating. But I still came out pretty much cognitively “all there” minus whatever I’ve lost due to hanging around the computer too much and getting old.

The results? No results.

I need an EEG and then, maybe, a heavily and carefully supervised MRI to keep me from exploding (literally) and ruining their expensive machinery. Not merely ending my life, but ending half a million dollars worth of really pricey electronics.

The suspicions?

Complicated migraines (my best guess) or … epilepsy.

I just learned a lot about epilepsy. It is the most common neurological disease in the world and one out of every 26 people have it, had it, or will get it.

You can get it for no reason, fall on your head, get a disease (encephalitis or meningitis) … develop it from too much stress. Which means that everyone holding particularly stressful jobs has probably got it. There a version of it called “Sunflower Syndrome” which is photosensitive epilepsy triggered by lighting. Avoid dance clubs with flashing lights, watch TV in a well-lit room, wear sunglasses, don’t stare at the sun, etc. I love the name, though. “Please turn down the lights. I suffer from Sunflower Syndrome.”

Frozen rocks in March

All of this is made much more complicated because I have heart disease, had cancer, had meningitis, and probably fell on my head, but who can remember? Also, you can just pick it up for no known reason at all. It can be genetic — or not. It can be caused by wrong vitamins, not enough of some mineral, changing medications, stopping a medication you were taking, or not taking something you should be taking.

Driving isn’t a really good idea, although not illegal. Usually.

I don’t know what it is, but it isn’t M.S. and it’s probably not a brain tumor. Those are two good reasons to celebrate.

I’m making pizza for dinner.

REIGNING CACTUS – FOTD – Marilyn Armstrong

Reigning Cactus – FOTD – 03/08/2019

I’m going to miss this cactus when it finally stops blooming. Fortunately, I have a getting-ready-to-bloom orchid pushing its way upward.

Just about when the cactus finishes, that should be full of buds. I hope!


I’m going to be at the hospital today so I won’t be answering comments or writing anything until tomorrow. Sorry!

View 1 – I kept turning the plant to see if I could get better light on different parts to see where I’d have the best color
Really hard to get both the color and enough light

 

ORIGINAL ANGRY BIRDS: SQUARE AND SPIKY MARCH DAY 7 – Marilyn Armstrong

Original Angry Birds -7- March Spiky Squares!

Whoever created angry birds must have had his eye on woodpeckers. I was watching them today. There were probably a dozen birds, many of them Goldfinches and the rest Juncos or Nuthatches and the odd Chickadee when one of the big Red-Bellied Woodpeckers cruised to halt in the flat feeder.

Every other bird jumped off the feeder and flew into the trees. They weren’t messing with a woodpecker. Those birds are wacko.

Red-Bellied Woodpecker at feeding time. That is some beak!
I think this one could peck MY eyes out!!

You can see it in their faces. Even on the little Down Woodpeckers, they all seem to be scowling. Definitely angry birds and even the little ones have longer than average sharp beaks and thicker than normal skulls. And they have an attitude: “Beat it or I’ll peck those eyes right out of your head.”

Look at the fierce face on this one. Angry bird ahoy!

“Yes sir,” say all the other birds. They aren’t messing with those crazy woodpeckers. Just look at their faces. They are, apparently, in a permanently bad mood.

And of course, this is why the birds are so miffed. I’m a little miffed myself!

Note that our mailbox has been squashed into the snow bank – and no, this picture is NOT square. Photo: Garry Armstrong
Our house in the snow from the street – Photo: Garry Armstrong

Happy spiky, jagged, pointy, bristly, serrated, prickly, spiny, and barbed’ squares!

GIMME GIMME GOOD LOVIN’ – Rich Paschall

Another One Hit Wonder, by Rich Paschall

From Atlanta, Georgia, to the Gulf Stream water
up to California end I’m gonna spend my life both night and day

Good Lovin’?

Crazy Elephant – 1969

To the girls in Frisco, to the girls in New York
To the girls in Texican, you gotta understand
That baby I’m your man

Leif Garrett – 1980

Helix – 1984

This is another 1969 one hit wonder. The original did better than any of the many cover versions that followed. Crazy Elephant was another of those studio creations with a fake band biography. It was probably easier to create these fake stories for teen magazines then, than it would be now. Nope, they were not Welsh coal miners.

The song was released in January with little success. It was re-released in March and climbed the charts to Number 12 on the Billboard Hot 100. Former Cadillacs member Robert Spencer was the lead vocalist for most songs of the short-lived band.

Teen idol Leif Garrett had a go at it in 1984. He signed his 5 album record deal in 1976, so by this point he was on the down side of his heart-throb days. After all, he was twenty-two.

Canadian “big hair band” Helix (you know, big hair like Motely Crue, Poison, Whitesnake) gave it a harder edge when they put out their version in 1986. It had limited success but they are still doing it. You can see a 2018 performance here. Yes, it is more painful now than it was then.

The song made my top ten of 1969 one hit wonders. What are the others? You will have to check that out this Sunday on SERENDIPITY, because I know you are eagerly waiting for another Top Ten list

So who do you think sang this one better? Comment below.

Also see and hear this other 1969 hit: Morning Girl by clicking the title.

E PLURIBUS UNUM: I’M HELPING SAVE DEMOCRACY $1 AT A TIME – REBLOG – The Shinbone Star

E PLURIBUS UNUM: I’M HELPING SAVE DEMOCRACY $1 AT A TIME

WRITTEN BY GLENN REDUS, MARCH 6, 2019

One thing you notice pretty quickly once you go from neutral observer to bonafide political warrior is that you’ll get e-mail, tons of it, and all with a common theme: Send money!

Don’t get me wrong, I love helping out and love being on a first-name basis with Democratic stalwarts like Nancy Pelosi and John Lewis (hereafter referred to simply as Nancy and John), but c’mon, guys, I’ve got my own bills to pay!

Shouldn’t I get credit for having written more than 90 anti-Trump posts for The Shinbone Star? No bonus points for culling every last Trump-loving friend or family member from my Facebook feed?

I’ve got to hand it to bigwigs down at the DNC because once they sink their teeth into you they act like a dog on a bone. It doesn’t matter if that bone is already bleached whiter than the skeleton of a dead mule in Death Valley. Retiree on a fixed income? Forget about it! If you’ve still got a dollar to your name, send it in!

It’s true, they’re not necessarily asking for much. Hey, if you can’t send $25, then $1 will do. But they want you to keep sending it all the damned time! Remember that inscription on U.S. currency, “E Pluribus Unum?” It means “Out of Many, One,” but to hear the Democrats spin it, that’s gonna be many, many, many ones for the rest of your natural life.

It’s not that I ever had that much money to begin with. Working in the newspaper business for three decades sure won’t make you rich, but it will teach you a thing or two about deadlines. But I’m here to testify, I’ve never seen an outfit with more deadlines than these Democrats. They’ve got monthly deadlines, quarterly deadlines, and special super-duper deadlines. Even their deadlines have deadlines, and by god, every one is critical!

Whether I’m on my phone or on my computer, the e-mail notifications just keep coming.

Ding . . .

Oh, this is for the “special one-term president fund,” and you’re saying that if I don’t pony up right now, Trump might win again in 2020???? Gaaaaa, anything but that! To hell with the heating oil bill, I don’t care if I freeze my ass off, I’m writing a check to the DNC right now!

Sometimes, however, a simple call to duty doesn’t work, so my new DNC friends have adopted other tactics, like fear.

Ding . . .

Holy shit in the foothills! “EARTH-SHATTERING news!”

Please believe me, I’m well aware that Nancy, Deb, and Adam already e-mailed me, but I had to eat! But now, only 24 hours are left before the next deadline and someone at headquarters noticed that my excitement about the brand new Democratic majority wasn’t up to snuff. I guess maybe I wasn’t that hungry. I guess I could have sent them $1. I’m so ashamed!

They know when you’ve been sleeping. They know when you’re awake.

Ding . . .

I swear Nancy’s stalking my ass! She wants her $1 and by god, she’s not taking “no” for an answer. How the hell did she even know that I had deleted her first message before sending another the same day? Shitfire, they’re watching me!

But even guilt won’t work on some people. Sometimes all it takes is a straightforward plea from a true hero of the republic.

Ding . . .

Dang it, John, that just hurts. How can I deny a man like you who has given his blood for the civil rights movement? And all you’re asking for is one measly dollar? OK, man, you win. I’m sending it in right now, but just tell your pals to back off a little, OK? So what if the phone bill is due, I’ll . . .

Ding . . .

Oh crap, here comes Nancy again!

Wait a minute, you’re saying we have to top the GOP’s $44 million war chest and you can’t do it unless I chip in my last dollar? But for chrissakes, I just gave a dollar to John! Can’t I please just write another Shinbone article or maybe piss off another Trumpist relative instead?

Look, I’m not stupid, I know it takes money to run a campaign, but you guys really gotta know when to back off . . .

Ding . . .

Sheeeit! Nancy must have given my e-mail address to Adam!

But holy crap, man, I have been standing up! Haven’t you seen? Don’t you read The Shinbone Star? What more do I have to do??? I know, I know, just send in one more simoleon . . .

Ding . . .

Oh crap, Adam handed off to James, and he’s saying that even after all the money I’ve sent, we’re still SCREWED! And not only that, he’s snarky, pissy and demanding to boot: (Earth to Glen)

Seriously, James, you’re asking did I miss you? Was I concerned you would forget about me?

Well, Earth to James, I sure as hell wish you would forget about me because this much is clear: John, Nancy, Adam, Deb, Beto, Kamala, Barack, Hillary, Alexandria, Kirsten, Elizabeth, Tom, Mikie and a host of others sure as hell won’t forget about me until they have my last thin dime.

Ding . . . 

Final notice??? But I’m already a card-carrying Democrat! Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Nope, not falling for it this time!

Ding! Ding! Ding!

Read this original post and many other great ones
at The Shinbone Star!