We are both extremely fond of apple turnovers and almost always have a box of the mini-size ones in the house. We have both turned over at least one or many new leaves through our 149 years of life.
But the really biggest turnover was swapping out our little Jeep Patriot for our much newer Jeep Renegade. It was the perfect second-hand car, too. Less than 3 years old, just over 20,000 miles on it and perfect for what we needed.
It doesn’t use much gasoline, but big enough for us and three small dogs. And it will drive on pretty much anything!
Don’t people realize that you have to use twice as much one-ply as two-ply so you end up not saving any money? And that’s not taking the comfort factor into consideration.
2. OVER OR UNDER
On the subject of toilet paper, it’s OVER people! The patent application for the toilet paper holder shows the roll going over, not under.
3. WEATHER CHANGES
I’ve been checking the weather regularly and we’ve had an unseasonably warm spell. The one day I forget to check, the temperature dips 25 degrees and I freeze my buns off in my unsuitably light clothes!
Some days I wake up thinking about the cinnamon sugar croissant at my local bakery. It’s amazing! It’s one of the few things that can make me break my perpetual diet (I’m on Prednisone and gained ten pounds last year). I look forward to this sugary treat all the way to the store – and they’re out! I can taste the disappointment and it’s nothing like my beloved croissant.
SLEEPLESS AT DAWN
My dogs wake me around 6 AM to feed them. I stagger downstairs and go through their morning routine in a sleepy haze. I stumble back to bed and fall right back to sleep. Except when I don’t. There are days when, for some reason, I wake up completely somewhere between the bedroom and the kitchen. I am suddenly full of energy. This is a problem because I go to bed around 1 AM and I need more than five hours sleep to get through the day. So I lie awake thinking of things that agitate or depress me and just exacerbate the situation. Finally I’ll fall back to sleep, but that sleepless hour or two is SO annoying! Chronic insomnia must be unbearable.
I’ve put a reminder on my phone that’s set to go off the same time every day to make sure I don’t forget to take my medicines in the morning. (I never seem to forget at night). I don’t forget often anymore, so I’ve gotten used to turning off the reminder each day after I’ve taken my meds. But now I’m so used to turning off the reminder, that I turned it off automatically the other day even when I hadn’t taken my meds.
I forgot to take my pills but I turned off the reminder anyway. On Autopilot. Something is wrong with this system – or is it just me?
LAZY GUARD DOG
One of my dogs, Lexi, is my self-assigned protector. She sounds the alarm with loud barking whenever she sees or hears something outside of her definition of ‘ordinary’. Unfortunately, she’s also lazy. So when she’s on the bed with me and hears something ‘suspicious’ downstairs, she doesn’t go down to investigate or scare off the intruders. Instead, she leaps up and proceeds to scream in her high volume, piercing bark, directly into my ear!
If I go prematurely deaf, it won’t be due to the loud rock and roll of my youth – it will be all Lexi’s fault!
Last night I said to Garry “Aha! He is hoisted upon his own petard!”
By which meant he had just become the victim of what he (in this case a movie character) had planned for someone else. Then, I paused, thinking.
“What,” I asked Garry, “Is a petard?”
“I have no idea,” said my husband. Which is when I realized I’ve been using this expression my whole life and don’t know what it means.
Petard sounds French, but what is it? I grabbed my laptop and typed “hoist on his … ” into Google. Before I got to petard … up it came. Don’t you just love when that happens?
Voila! Courtesy of Wikipedia, here is the rest of the story.
A petardwas a bomb used to blow up gates and walls when breaching fortifications. Castles. Walled cities. That sort of thing. The word was originally (duh) French and dates to the sixteenth century.
Typically, a petard was metal (bronze or iron), shaped like a cone or box. Filled with two or three kilos (5 or 6 pounds) of gunpowder and using a slow match for a fuse, the petard was a primitive, powerful and unstable explosive device.
After being filled with gunpowder, it would be attached to a wooden base and fastened to a wall, on or under a gate. The fuse was lit. If all went as planned, the explosion would blow a hole big enough to let assault troops through.
Thus the phrase “hoist on his/her own petard” came to mean “harmed by one’s own plan to harm someone else.” It suggests you could be lifted — hoisted — by your own bomb.
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