It must be my age. I no longer have any finesse at all. I sometimes get what I want, but it’s more bludgeon than finesse. I seem to have lost my charm especially in dealing with people who tell me “We have to charge $8 to send you a 15 ml bottle of eyedrops for your dog.”
“No,” I said. “You don’t HAVE to charge me $8.00. You have decided to charge me $8. The cost is actually $3 and the plastic bag is another $1. So you’re making a big profit on the shipping. Even if you add another dollar for handling.”
“You could use our auto-delivery service. Then delivery is just $3.”
“Right, but these are eye drops. Liquid. You can’t calculate quite that precisely for a liquid.”
“That’s true,” she admitted. “Auto-delivery isn’t a good choice for liquids.”
I got her down to $5, which is what it was the last time (mid-May) for the delivery. No matter what she said, there is — not UPS, USPS, or FedEx — NO delivery service who charges that much money to deliver a product so light you might miss it being in the envelope at all.
So where did my finesse go? Down the drain along with the salary I earned.
Pet adoption agencies are always trying to convince you to adopt senior dogs. Gibbs was 9 when we adopted him and at 13, he is beginning to show his years. Going a bit deaf these days. He is less energetic and more inclined to prolonged naps. So when agencies urge older people to adopt older dogs, are they offering to help pick up the costs that older pets will inevitably generate as they age?
You bet they aren’t. No senior discounts for senior dogs or senior people. I’ve lost patience with price gouging. A good finesse used to be a winning strategy, but I’ve never known it to work with any kind of customer service. They don’t respond to wit, humor, or irony. Hit them hard where it hurts and maybe — if you are lucky — you’ll get something back.