LAST CHANCE – Marilyn Armstrong

Most of the stuff I buy online are necessities that are cheaper online or not available (locally) offline. Dog food. Dog biscuits. Over-the-counter medications like generic Tylenol and generic allergy meds.

I buy very little clothing because I don’t wear much and feel I have more than enough probably for the rest of my life. I haven’t bought a pair of shoes in about 4 years. Once a year, I buy underwear for me and Garry. Maybe it’s my imagination, but I swear it wears out faster than it used to. Cheaper fabric?

Olympia Sports

Every now and again, I buy a couple of new tunics tops and loose pants for summer — or yoga pants for winter. When it’s Garry’s birthday, I get him whatever he is currently yearning for. This year, it was Marine Corps garb but that’s only because we’ve run out of NCIS clothing.

Any place from which I’ve ever bought anything sends me advertisements for their sales including cameras, clothing, computers, furniture, cell phones, and phone carriers. Streaming TV stations, shoe stores, LL Bean, and Land’s End. J Jill and Coldwater Creek.

Every single advertisement assures me this is my absolute last chance, my final opportunity to get 40% off, 50% off (with free shipping for purchases over $100 or $75) or cash in on their two for one sale. Don’t forget, if you rope in a friend, he or she will also get a fabulous discount, too.

Every sale is my final opportunity to acquire something. The most annoying thing is even if I want something, they don’t have what I want. Wrong size, wrong model. Too big, too small, too something. Or it’s in some strange color like lime green or delicate baby pink. If I really need it, it’s the one that isn’t on sale.



These final chances to save money never end. I have concluded that the “last chance” will never arrive. Before I have time to delete yesterday’s “last chances,” there is an entirely new set of last chances in my inbox. I remember thinking I got way too much snail mail. I still get way too much snail mail, but the amount of email is catastrophic and overwhelming.

It takes me hours to delete all my final chances to get whatever is on sale at a gigantic, huge, monstrous, final last chance opportunity.

My conclusion from all of this? There is no such thing as a final sale unless the company is really going out of business.

A lot of “going out of business” sales are also endless. I remember when I was growing up in Queens, there were stores that had been going out of business for years. Eventually, a law was passed that you could only go out of business for six months. After that, you were either back IN business, or you had to close your doors.

Also, you couldn’t have a continuous sale. If it lasted past a certain interval (I forget what it was, but something like six weeks), they became your regular prices.

I suspect when any of us really get our final opportunity — our true last chance — it won’t be via email. It won’t even be through snail mail. You or someone will discover someone dead.

That would be the genuine final opportunity

Categories: #Photography, Death and Dying, online shopping, Shopping

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36 replies

  1. When I go away for a week or 10 days, particularly at the end of a month, I come home to a shopping bag full of mail order catalogs! And it’s a standing joke here that there’s always a sale on at Macy’s!

    Liked by 1 person

    • There’s always a final sale somewhere. And I get the catalogues AND the emails. Which is funny because I so rarely buy anything and haven’t bought from a catalogue for a dozen years — probably more.


    • Slmret, I used to like looking through some clothing catalogues. Searching for stuff I didn’t have. Doesn’t matter anymore.

      The only catalogues I like perusing are the video things. I like checking for old or obscure films we don’t have in our extensive home video library. Our video library was really large back in the VHS days. I was rather proud of the library. For awhile, I had it catalouged in alphabetical order and proudly showed it off to visitors who may or may not have been impressed.


  2. I’m not sure what I’m going to do when my current batch of clothing that fits (reasonably well), particularly in the jeans/pants area wears out. You aren’t wrong that the manufacturers keep making their stuff out of cheaper and cheaper cloth (I guess), because everything wears out in such a short time. I guess the clothing manufacturers took a leaf out of the appliance makers’ book and decided planned obsolence was a good idea. More profit. Whatever. I’m too poor to afford to buy on line or out of a store. Wal*Mart (the last store standing in discounts around here) is a store I REFUSE to buy clothing from, because their wares are more shoddy than most (IMHO). I’m going to have to patronize the local thrift shop and hope some oddly sized woman has given away her not worn out jeans. Or I’m going to have to find some alternative. It’s frightening.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I did nothing BUT thrift shop for several years. I got better quality clothing for a lot less money. We don’t have much shopping around here, so everyone shops in thrift stores. I bumped into the bank president at the Salvation Army one afternoon. I buy a lot of cheapish stuff — when I need it — via Amazon (underwear and nightwear) and some inexpensive loose cotton dresses from India that are my favorites when the weather is REALLY hot and humid.

      I don’t if it’s the fabric that’s cheesier or the thread they sew it with, but clothing does seem to wear out faster. Even jeans. I thought denim was the forever fabric!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Denim is SUPPOSED to be the ‘forever fabric’. They invented it, I believe, for frontiersmen to wear while riding around herding cows or whatever in the west ‘in the day’. Those men weren’t easy on their clothes, so a durable, long lasting fabric HAD to be developed. And I could totally be full of cow manure too. It’s happened.


    • Melanie, I’m one of those “…he never throws anything out. His office is crammed with old stuff…”
      I still have 2 or 3 tweed sports jackets, purchased when we honeymooned in Ireland back in ’91. They still look pretty good. Only problem — they’re a little too big for me right now. So we’ll wait..for a period of adjustment.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Last chance to buy something you probably already have since the old styles keep coming back.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I don’t buy a lot of new clothes. I don’t go anywhere either. I mostly buy online but I do have the Op Shop to fall back on and that is cheap. I can buy a sweatshirt or T-shirt or a pair of pants for just a couple of dollars each; less if we’re having a sale. They do fine for everyday wear. There is one online store where I like to buy jeans and a particular style of 3/4 sleeve V-neck T-shirt that I’m fond of but I only get them when they are on special. They are popular and hardly ever on special so it takes a while. I had thrown out one old one that had got discoloured in the wash and demoted another to at home only wear before they finally went on special and I was able to buy two more. That should do me for a year or so. I have bought shoes online but I really prefer to try them on first.
    I’ve seen the never-ending sales. There were some rug shops in Adelaide that seemed to be permanently going out of business and it must have been widespread amongst rug importers because a comedy show at the time had a sketch about it.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I buy most of my clothing, including shoes when I need them, online. Underwear, socks, shirts, jeans, sneakers (about every nine months) and slippers (annually). I honestly can’t recall the last time I went into a store to by clothes or shoes. As to those “last chance” emails, I delete them without opening them. End of story.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I was actually thinking about buying a pair of shoes, online of course, but decided I have shoes to wear and need no new shoes, I need nothing really, unless that what I have is falling apart. I go nowhere important to buy something new. As far as the underwear is concerned the same. If it needs replacing I buy it. The stores do not earn a lot from us I think.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Almost the only thing I don’t buy online ARE shoes and that’s because my feet can be difficult to fit and shoes have gotten awfully expensive. I need a pair of walking shoes — but those are hard for me to wear because I have heel spurs and most shoes hurt. I may have a pair that will do the job, more or less. I hope so. I don’t feel like spending a lot of money on something I will only wear very rarely. Meanwhile, I have the eye doctor today and I’m really hoping he doesn’t tell me I need new glasses. That can be REALLY big money — and I don’t have it to spend. Insurance covers the exam, but not the glasses — which doesn’t make much sense.

      Liked by 2 people

      • I usually wear Sketchers shoes in various versions and their size 41 always fits my feet luckily. This morning I was at the eye doctor with Mr. Swiss to discuss his forthcoming operation for the glaucom in his eyes and the question of insurance also came into it. It is more or less all covered, unless you want a special lens fitted into your new eyes, which will not be our problem. Our glasses are also not covered by insurance, except for 200 swiss francs which they pay every 2-3 years for new glasses which only covers a small amount of the cost of the glasses.


        • My feet have heel spurs, so I wear either a 40 or 41 (depending on who made them), but when I need a back, I need a curved back so they don’t press on the spurs. But I also don’t feel like spending a pile of money on shoes I’m going to wear rarely. I have no problem with sandals unless they are running really narrow — but I’m a perfect American size 9 — which leave no room for socks. I need to buy slightly bigger shoes if I’m wearing socks — but the next size up is really much too big. It’s why I hate buying shoes at all.

          Liked by 1 person

      • Mom’s ever lasting reminder: Always wear clean underwear. I hate it when corpses are not dressed well. They obviously didn’t listen to Mom.

        Liked by 1 person

    • We haven’t come a long way, baby, when it comes to true customer service in stores.

      Back in the olden days, when I worked in a big department store’s Childrens’ shoes section, the customer was supposed to be treated like royalty. Some days it was rather diffcult dealing with the royalty. But I was a premier salesman dealing with baby shoes. Moms trusted me, epecially with baby’s FIRST pair of shoes. Never a bad fitting from me.



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