FOWC with Fandango — Authority
When I was a kid, I was always hearing, “They say you can’t do that.” I always assumed that “they” meant grown-ups. Then I grew up.
I still don’t know who “they” are. Clearly not ‘the adults’ since I’m way past maturity. None of my friends — well, at least not most of my friends — say “that’s not how it’s done,” implying a right and wrong way. There are right and wrong ways — for some things. But not for everything.
If I had to follow rules for everything, I’d totally lose it.
So here I am, senior citizen and all. I still don’t know who they are, Who are the people in our world who have the authority to tell us how to do it? Hardly anything is done the way it used to be done, but “they” are still telling us how we have to do it.
One of the really good things about being older is that you don’t have to listen to what “they say,” especially since they have never said it to me. Wherever and to whomever “they” are saying it — I must have missed it.
How come half the world eats without changing the fork from hand to hand and the rest of the world (really, American in the U.S.) still swap.
Share this:
Categories: #FOWC, Daily Prompt, Fandango's One Word Challenge, Humor, Marilyn Armstrong
TOTALLY UNHINGED – Marilyn Armstrong 
TAKE YOUR UMBRAGE ON THE ROAD – Marilyn Armstrong 
SERENDIPITY - SEEKING INTELLIGENT LIFE ON EARTH 
People swap their fork from hand to hand?? 😐 Huh. Now that’s the memo I missed! I eat with my right hand and trying to hold my fork (say if cutting up some meat or something) in the left hand, is uncomfortable and makes me twitch. I don’t do the swap thing. “They” must have overlooked me when making that ‘rule’.
My opinion about who “they” are? “They” are those who are not “us”. They are faceless, nameless and in my experience “they” are pretty dim witted too. Pity “we” pay such strict attention to them, isn’t it?
LikeLike
Throughout most of the world, they do NOT switch hands. Mostly, in the U.S., we do. I do because my parents did and that’s how I learned to eat. I can NOT switch, but I find it awkward. My right hand is much better at handling materials than my left, but I suppose if you are left-handed, NOT switching would be much more convenient. Regardless, it’s not a memo. We learn from the adults with whom we eat and if they came from Europe, for example, they probably don’t switch and then, neither will you. Which will make you more like the rest of the world. I think ONLY Americans switch.
LikeLike
The more I hear about that, the more I remember that this was something that always intruiged me when I was visiting the USA. I looked at ‘how I eat’ and as soon as a knife is involved, it’s clear that the fork stays in the left hand and the knife in the right (except for left-handed people where it’s the other way around; I also always have to make sure that nobody has to sit at Hero Husband’s left side because he needs so much space to figure out his ‘best way of eating’ that he knocks the stuff from the neighbour’s fork when seated too close!). IF however, I eat something without needing a knife, it’s clear that the ‘tool’ is placed in my right hand, as that one is more agile, tactile etc. I sometimes use a piece of bread in the left to act as an aide though, or to clean up some especially nice dressing or sauce. There, sorted and explained! 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
That sounds sane and sensible to me!
LikeLike
I feel like “they” stems from the very beginning of humankind, when people became more self conscientious and instead of pointing of specific people that were type A and judgmental, it was easier to say “they”. “They” refers to the haters, bullies, hipsters, ordinary people that believe that there is a way to do things and one way only. Meaning that whatever you think, is invalid. However, screw “they”. Be you and don’t fear how you should act, fear that time in life is limited and you are wasting time if you act as “they” suggest.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Good comment! Also, probably true. “They” are all the ones we fear and who have power over us. And there are so many of them. SO many.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s also always an easy ‘way out’ when it’s possible to say THEY. That way, the speaker doesn’t have to think and form their own opinion!
LikeLike
Hence one of my most frequently asked question: Who is They?!
What’s that business with fork changing from one hand to the other. Pls do enlighten me!
LikeLike
That’s how my parents ate, so that’s how I learned to eat. I didn’t know until I was nearly an adult that there was even a choice. It was nice to know there IS a choice, but my right hand is a lot more agile than my left, so I’m just as happy having the fork in my right hand.
LikeLike
Simply put “they” are we and we are they.
LikeLike
I think they are the people with power, the old people who pass on traditions that never made any sense, the guys and gals who write commercials and directions on the back of the can or box. But mostly, I think it is people who have power.
LikeLiked by 1 person
We are writers, are we not? The written word has power. They and we have power. I think?
LikeLike
I’ve never understood the fork thing Americans do. It must be even more confusing if you are left-handed. One thing we can be sure of “they” are usually invoked when we are supposed to be in the wrong. What I want to know is who are the people who post these things online saying “You have been doing such and such wrong all your life.” Who are they and who told them they were the judge of me?
LikeLike
I tried NOT switching, but I’m right-handed and found using the fork left-handed very clumsy. I suspect however you grow up is whatever works for you. It certainly makes more sense to NOT switch. One less thing to do at the table. But how you’ve learned it tends to stick with you … even when it doesn’t make any sense.
LikeLike
True. I am right handed too but learnt to use the fork in my left although I was told right hand was acceptable for spaghetti.
LikeLike
When, as a child, I would declare “they” say, or “everyone says,” my grandfather would demand, “Name one.” I was always stuck for an answer. Now, as a very senior citizen, I don’t care who “they” are.
LikeLike
Maybe “They” are “Us.” Older people who pass down “traditional values” without even having thought about whether these ideas make any sense.
LikeLike
I’m a senior citizen as well, and you’d think by now I’d know who “they” are. But I guess you can’t know everything…or so they say.
LikeLike
THEY think THEY know everything. I could argue with them, but since I don’t know who they are, it’s difficult!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Once a woman was making coffee. I suggested she use cold water instead of tepid. She asked why and when I said “they” suggest it makes better coffee, she asked who? The manufacturer of the coffee maker was the answer. However, I know what you mean. Often times someone says “they say” and have no idea where the “idea” came from. and I’m with you. I consider myself “Old enough to know better, young enough to do it again!” wooot
LikeLike
A lot of the time, “they” really ARE the people who write information on the back of the box or can. For a long time “they” said you should freeze coffee to keep it fresh and of course it turned out that freezing it didn’t do anything except make the can very cold.
LikeLike
lol, I know, right?
LikeLike
I don’t know who “they” are, but they might have the answer about the fork. 😄 Google had a variety of answers, from early colonists in the U.S. to an etiquette teacher about 100 years ago. While “they”are at it, would they also tell us why our cars are designed to drive on the opposite side of the road than many other countries?
LikeLike
I have a LOT of questions. Why don’t MEN wear high heels? How come a man can get all dressed up and not be either freezing or in real pain. And why do we spell everything differently than the Brits? What’s wrong with “our” rather than “or”?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hahaha!!! All good questions!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I await the day high heels come into fashion for men. I can barely control my laughter.
LikeLiked by 1 person
🤣 That will be the day!
LikeLike
I think that’s simply to make a differenciation between Amis & Brits…. (and that’s why I insist on writing the Brits’ way because that’s what I learned at school and which made me ‘stand out’ the roughly 2yrs I lived in Canada!)
LikeLike
I think it’s because Americans want everything shorter. They get irritated by the “ough” and “ight” endings. We aren’t English and don’t have a grip on the language. If you know the history, it makes a lot more sense.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My dad always said “they like that sort of thing” when people did differently to he did. He was saying it all the time when he visited in Switzerland, and was also known to use the expression when referring to women and their favourite pasttimes like shopping and cooking. One of the old school.
LikeLike
I just want to know who “they” are and why they think they have the right to tell anyone what to do.
LikeLiked by 1 person
They are the other. The more powerful, whether deserved or not. The ones who are always right, true or not. They are definitely not “us.”
LikeLiked by 1 person
“They” must have never told me about that fork swapping rule, because I sure don’t follow it. I don’t even understand it…. you mean some people poke stuff with one hand, then use the other to lift it to their mouths? Why would anyone do that? Even if using a knife with the other hand, I’m still keeping the fork in the hand I was using it with…
LikeLiked by 1 person
As does everyone who doesn’t live in the U.S. But, for some reason, we are “switchers.” Why?
LikeLike
I grew up swapping because my parents did and I don’t think they thought about it much. It wasn’t until I read something about it that it occurred to me that it’s not the only way to eat! Although to be fair, I’d much rather hold the fork in my right (dominant) hand than in the left, which is clumsy.
LikeLike
What I’m wondering are all the things my mother said “if you only knew”. Unfortunately, I still don’t know, but now I can guess.
Leslie
LikeLike
Yes … but … who ARE they really?
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s something my mother would say and I suspect she was talking about my father but didn’t want to trouble me….
LikeLike