KEEPING UP WITH THE JONESES – Marilyn Armstrong

Xfinity has an advertisement. They assure viewers that their wi-fi is so fast, you will definitely be able to keep up with the Joneses.

I didn’t know it was a race. I didn’t know I was supposed to be keeping up with anyone.

If you use Xfinity, you will be able to keep up with the Joneses, whoever they may be.

“Garry,” I asked. “Are we keeping up with the Joneses?”

“The who?”

“Joneses.”

“I don’t think so. We don’t know anyone named Jones. I actually can’t remember ever knowing anyone named Jones. Lots of Smiths and many of them named Mike. No Joneses. Of any name. So probably we aren’t keeping up with them.”

On the other hand, I don’t think I’ve ever worried about keeping up with anything that didn’t have a dollar sign attached. I certainly don’t worry whether or not I’ve got faster wi-fi than my neighbors, especially not in Uxbridge. This just isn’t a “keeping up with the Joneses” kind of town. We all use Charter. We don’t have any choice. That’s what the town decided for us.

We have enough trouble keeping up with the mortgage, bills, and taxes.



Categories: Blackstone Valley, Humor, Marilyn Armstrong, Technology, Uxbridge, Wi-Fi

Tags: , , , , ,

18 replies

  1. Oh, you know the Joneses. Two-page Christmas newsletter. Single-spaced. Just got back from that fabulous vacation….wherever. Tommy was accepted into Harvard. Suzy was Peace Corp Volunteer of the Year. Yes, it’s all coming back now, right? πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  2. those advertisers are running out of clever sayings…..

    Like

  3. You know what I hate the most about the Jonses? That -es you have to add onto their surname to make it plural. The Jonses. Makes them sound so special and privileged…

    And there’s always the counter argument to that phrase… if you can’t keep up with the Jonses, try bringing them down to your level instead.

    Like

  4. Why does it all have to be faster, why do we have to have a faster Internet. It is fast enough for me, I am not going anywhere and if my connection takes 10 seconds instead of 5, what’s the problem.

    Like

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