Fandango’s Provocative Question #38

Do you really want to tell your wife she looks fat in those jeans? No? Do you need to tell her you slept with her best friend, even if it was before you got married? Or for that matter, with anyone besides her since you got married?

If you tell her any of these things, are they going to improve or ruin your relationship?

Do you believe that honesty is always the best policy? Is there is ever a time or circumstance when dishonesty (lying) is justifiable? Please elaborate.

We lie to each other all the time. Usually little lies. Like how much you paid for those sneakers … or for that matter, how much you paid for your wife’s birthday present (she warned you to NOT spend a lot of money). Or maybe shearing $100 of the price of that camera lens or telephone or computer.

We lie to our kids all the time. Some of them are huge, life-changing lies like: “You can do anything you set your mind to.”

No, you can’t. If you don’t have the talent, you can’t become a great writer or musician or mathematician or engineer. You need tenacity, but you also need talent. When we don’t mention the whole “talent” issue, it’s a lie and it can ruin a kid’s life, too.

I’m in favor of telling the truth when not telling the truth will cause harm to anyone, will destroy a good relationship, or simply make someone unhappy when they don’t need to be. I am also strongly in favor of honest conversations so that people don’t waste years believing something they partially heard while eavesdropping. AND I strongly, passionately believe in NEVER EVER EAVESDROPPING.

Whenever I watch a movie and someone has cheated and the cheater feels a compelling need to confess, I always wonder “why”? If his/her spouse never heard about the cheating, they would be okay. So the only reason you are confessing is to make ourself feel better. It isn’t going to make your relationship better or make your spouse happier. If you need to confess, find a priest. Get a shrink. Confess to your seatmate on the bus across town.

Leave your spouse alone. They didn’t do anything wrong and don’t deserve to be punished. If you have the kind of spouse who is going to eviscerate you for failing to “tell the truth,” they need to have a brain adjustment too.

Categories: Lies - lying - liars, Provocative Questions

Tags: , , , ,

16 replies

  1. hmmm. Not sure I agree. I try not to get into a situation where I should need to lie. But with my ex, now half a lifetime back, I couldn’t always tell him everything. So, instead of lying, I said nothing. And since he never asked, I didn’t have to lie. But I have a genetical default: I cannot lie….. so it’s a bit of a bummer what you are all telling me here. Aaaaaanyway – I also wouldn’t have to ‘brains’ to pile another lie on the first and a third on the second. It’s too much work and it all comes out anyway, sooner or later.


  2. I fully agree with the cheating spouse or cheated ON spouse scenario. Why is it better to ruin a probably not that great relationship with such news? I realize that it doesn’t make the cheater sleep any easier, nor look at themselves in the mirror and see something good because they got away with it, but if/when the spouse finds out? It’ll be on their terms and the chips will fall where they may.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I tend to agree. Lying can be hurtful, but sometimes being brutally honest can be even more hurtful.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fandango, I am doing prep work that I hope leads to some voice over business.
      It’s been YEARS since I’ve used my voice for professional stuff. So, I am rusty in different ways. Marilyn (a speech therapy major/expert) is listening, offering positive criticism and advice. Honesty, here, is really the best policy.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Good luck, Garry. I hope you’re able to find something suitable. I’ve never heard your voice, but given that you were a TV journalist, doing voiceovers should be a natural fit for you.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Thanks, Fandango. The “voice” is still there but a bit hoarse. As I said, it’s been years since I did anything for pay. I hope it’s like riding a bicycle. I’ll keep you folks posted — hopefully with good news. Thanks, again.

          Liked by 1 person

  4. The main trouble with lying is you have to remember what you said. As far as going out of your way to tell me I’m fat – try it and I’ll give you a sock in the nose.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I mostly try to be honest, but I admit I’m guilty at shearing $100 off the price of that camera. So long as he doesn’t come across the receipt, it’s all good. After all, he did buy that sporty car awhile back and then had to buy special tires, etc etc etc. I believe we’re more than even.

    Liked by 1 person

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