SO HERE’S MY DEAL – Marilyn Armstrong

I’ve been trying to figure out why blogging is so much more stressful now than it was a few years ago. I actually came up with an answer that seems to make sense, at least to me.

As a start, I didn’t feel obligated to read everyone’s blogs. I read those that looked interesting and I didn’t sign up for so many. I have more than 70 blogs listed in which I am interested. I can’t read that much stuff in a day or even in a week. Especially if I also leave comments.

I don’t know when I started to feel obligated to read everyone’s blog, but at some point, it made me feel bad that people were reading me, but I wasn’t reading them. Then, new stuff came up and I subscribed, but a lot of the time it turned out that it was a one-time thing and I couldn’t establish a sustained interest in their material. Even those I read almost every day, there are just days when other stuff happens. Days when I want to read the news. Or a book. Or … gasp … do nothing in particular.

I don’t like unsubscribing to someone’s blog. It’s taken as a rebuke when often, it’s more a matter of finding time in my life to do something other than blogging. Between writing, photography, processing, putting posts together, and organizing … and having a life … it becomes more burdensome than joyful.

Not feeling I have the time to read books has made me crabby. I love reading — and listening. Not having time to get into a story bothers me. Reading has always been my escape.

Since Trump was elected, the world has been particularly treacherous. The news is terrifying.

I don’t know what I can do. I can’t solve any of the stuff that worries me. I feel helpless. Not a good feeling, especially because I need to feel a modicum of control over my life.

So for all of you who are my friends, I love you, but I can’t keep pushing myself to be everything to everyone. I wish I could, but I can’t. My writing suffers, I get too tired to take pictures and blogging stops being fun.

There are so many great blogs, I wish I could read them all.

Categories: Blogging, Marilyn Armstrong

Tags: ,

49 replies

  1. I do so sympathise with all you say. We make a rod for own backs, trying to be fair to those we follow and post stuff too. I’ve learned a massive amount through blogging and blog reading, but I’m beginning to think that selectivity is all. None of us need to invite any more stress in our lives. So: stick to the bits that give pleasure, and sideline the rest – that’s what I’m thinking anyway.


  2. It is like you’ve put my thoughts here. Exactly what I have been experiencing about blogging the past yrs. The game has leveled up from themes to plugins, etc. Like, I just want to write! I try my best to tmread other’s blog as a way of affirmation on their part. I love commenting on their posts to keep the real blogging world alive.


    • I broke away from most writing challenges a while ago. I still do a couple, once in a while. I do Cee’s photo challenges, but most of the rest I don’t do. Not only do I want to write what I want to write, i also want to photograph whatever suits me.

      I do try to comment and read when I can, but there are only so many hours in a day. I can’t write and still read that much. But I try because it seems the only fair way to behave. Nonetheless, I need to get it under control before I just give up.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Marilyn you said how I feel!! I have been so busy this week- I cannot even think- let alone write or even post pics- and I would love to read all the blogs I subscribe to… BUT CAN’T!!!! Then I feel bad, or like I am missing out, or guilty- but it is become too pressurized.Or I am making myself feel to much pressure, and guilt. Crazy, right? Thanks for the validation. I love you but I can’t get to you everyday and comment- even if I am reading you!! It is freezing here too- but no snow- just lots of ice. Love you and see you soon I hope! ❤ ❤


    • You do the best you can and so will I. I love your pictures and stories, but there are days when life has its own issues and I’m lucky if I manage to get ANYTHING done. I do need to get a better grip on this because this was supposed to be fun … and losing the fun and the joy of communicating with people really bothers me.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I use the Reader which helps but I can’t read everybody I follow all the time. I have to clean the house once in a while. I think if I followed posts via email I’d be completely overwhelmed by the pile-up. Try not to feel guilty Marilyn. You do your best to read as many posts as you can but this is our hobby and it is supposed to be fun.

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s how it’s going to be anyway. There are days when just answering comments takes up most of the day … and then it gets to be 11 at night and I realize I haven’t written anything. I suppose we shall all have to do the best we can and understand that life just IS. There are doctors to visit and groceries to buy and sometimes, even something social going on!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I hear you. I also feel guilty when I can’t read everyone’s posts, but there are just too many – and as you say, some days there just isn’t time or inclination. I try to read, comment and post just enough so everyone knows I’m still here. I wouldn’t want people to send out a search party if I simply disappeared for awhile.

    PS – You need a break, Marilyn. Just do it. But let us know ahead of time so we don’t worry.


    • I think I’m going to post less in the new year. I try to remember that before I posted this much, I was fine doing less. I need to remember that. It has been so many years, I tend to forget that there was another time when I wrote less and it was OK.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. That’s true for so many of bloggers. Don’t stress. Read whatever you want and leave the rest for another day. Enjoy your blogging.


  7. It would be nice to have a few extra hours in the day just to be able to read 😄

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I go through the editor and weed out blogs that I “follow” on a monthly basis. If I haven’t the time or inclination to read whatever they have written that month I simply unfollow them. After doing this for over a year now I have finally found the right mix of interesting blogs to follow.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Suze, glad you have found success in weeding out the chaff. Like many/most of you, I have a ton of political stuff–candidates asking for money and campaign rants. I just noticed as the clock went from 10:59am to 11am — 25-30 new emails came up, almost all the political stuff. They were quicky gone!

      I also have lots of blog comments that pile up, particularly after a piece that gets lots of feed back. I feel oligated to answer folks who’ve taken time to write.. My comment responses tend to get long winded and that’s on me. But, golly, it sure eats up the clock and the day. Gotta find a way to be better, including stuff that’s sat for a long time.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Maybe I need to do that, too.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Today I went in and deleted all the blogs I almost never read and a few that have basically disappeared. I won’t see the results of this until tomorrow. I don’t think I’m quite where I need to be, yet, but I think i need to be in the “no more than 20” region. It isn’t that I don’t enjoy others, but I’m just out of time and feeling guilty all the time about not reading is bad for my morale!


  9. I know what you mean. I have a few rules. If I get a comment on my blog, then acknowledge it, answer it perhaps. If I partake in a challenge I read the other contributions. That is that really. I also do not have the time or the patience to read everything. That is where the reader is useful. I can pick and choose the writing that interests me. More is not possible. And if someone just gives me a link to their own blog, as if to say read it, they are out, cancelled, in the trash bin. I do not have the time. The same goes for anyone that writes “nice blog”.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. I’ve had to cut back too. It’s impossible to keep up with all the material out there.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I understand. I follow a lot of blogs, but don’t have time to read them all. There are days I don’t feel like reading any. I do enjoy quite a few, but… I often take blogging breaks, which are more breaks from reading than writing…

    Liked by 2 people

    • Trent, I’m with you. So many different thngs to read. Not enough time.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Both on and off line – I have a stack of books waiting to be read….


        • I have so many books I’m in the middle of, I’m sure I will NEVER finish them. I’m literally years behind. I get started, then distracted, find I need to do something else and then I realize I’m in the middle of something, but I’ve lost the thread and I have to go back and basically start over again.

          Liked by 1 person

          • Typically, if I am reading fiction and I put the book down for more than a few days, I have to start over 😦 I have a few sitting around waiting for me to start again, 3 nonfiction books on my nightstand that are in progress and a stack of fiction waiting to be read… There is not enough time in the day!


    • I feel guilty about it and that’s a real bummer. I’m going to have to go in and delete a lot of follows. I can’t read and then also write and process and program … and I’ve been doing this for a long time. I’ve overstretched my limits. It was a gradual process and I think over the past 8 years, it just piled up.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Inevitable, I guess. You are so prolific.


      • I usually don’t un-follow – I do everything using my Reader, so if I don’t want to read something, I just skip it as I’m scrolling through.


      • Well HALLILUJAH! I’m down to reading just one blog.., yours. I have a similar problem with my recording clients, I don’t know how to say NO!. I don’t really need the money but I like recording. Plus the gear is getting heavier, or I’m getting weaker. I’ve been slowly reducing the amount of gear I take on location, but the real problem is the work load I take on, and the fact that old clients (new too) keep calling. There is some kind of fear of becoming obsolete, or not being needed. The older I get the more fearful I get.., this has to stop, and I need to do more for me. So do you my friend.


        • It’s funny how things start out to be fun and after a while, we become successful and it’s the success that overwhelms us. I don’t want to quit, but I need to do less. I need to make this fun again. So do you. I will never forget you!


  12. Yes I know how you feel. When I started I got one Like or was it two. Anyway I learned gradually from others how it worked and it is fun reading interesting blogs, funny blogs, exchanging comments. I imagine that if one was in prison or totally housebound and lonely the world of blogging would be fantastic, you would never be bored, always something to read, someone to communicate with. But the rest of us in the real world have to be realistic. You can’t read every blog of every blogger. Pick out what you enjoy and those bloggers who have taken the time to comment on your own blogs.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Good advice, Tidal. trying to absorb all the suggestions and get back to ENJOYING this until of feeling obligated to get through tons of stuff. Need to get my mind right.

      Liked by 1 person

    • That is what I try to do, but it just piles up. With editing, I get the pile down to under 100 unread posts (with another thousand I seem to be saving for some unknown reason) and then I go look. I’ve got another couple of hundred pieces of mail. And it isn’t just blogs. It’s also news and personal communications … and then there are all the pictures that need to be processed.


  13. I know the feeling. I read what I can…try to get round everyone every so often, and have a few I read diligently because I will always find something interesting. But I had to learn to stop feeling guilty about not reading everyone all the time. I’d rather give my attention to what I read than just skim from a sense of obligation.

    Liked by 3 people

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