It’s that time of the year again. At the end of the year. In more normal times, the time of the year we look back, reflect and get shit-faced drunk on the last day hoping the next one will be better. For the last few years, we changed that to looking back in dread of the current year and looking forward with sheer terror to the next.
One tradition that hasn’t changed is the “Year-End Review.” All the media does it. I know, I used to have to put the damn video packages together for many, many years.
I HATE YEAR-END REVIEWS.
So, in what has now become a year-end tradition, I give you “The Only Year End Review You Need.”
It’s short, to the point and has no pictures. Not because it doesn’t need them. It does. I’m just too lazy to look any up and I’m really into a video game that I want to get back to. I’d do this later but it’s the end of the year and I’m running out of time.
Curse the March of Time!
Here it is.
JANUARY: Oh God, it still sucks.
FEBRUARY: It still sucks. And it’s really cold. And what the fuck is a “Polar Vortex?”
MARCH: Well, there’s always the Mueller Report.
APRIL: The Mueller Report is out!!
MAY: We waited two years for that???
JUNE: It just keeps getting worse.
AUGUST: Well, at least it’s warm. The warmest month in history. Great.
SEPTEMBER: They might impeach him!
OCTOBER: Who was I kidding?
NOVEMBER: Holy Shit, they actually might impeach him!
DECEMBER: Holy Fuck! They impeached him! Yes! Wait, oh yeah, the Senate. Damn, this year sucked.
But there is hope. Next year is 2020. An election year. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Let’s just hope it’s not an oncoming train.