THE YEAR IS NOT NEW…I MEAN THE YEAR IN REVIEW – By TOM CURLEY

It’s that time of the year again. At the end of the year. In more normal times, the time of the year we look back, reflect and get shit-faced drunk on the last day hoping the next one will be better. For the last few years, we changed that to looking back in dread of the current year and looking forward with sheer terror to the next.

One tradition that hasn’t changed is the “Year-End Review.” All the media does it.  I know, I used to have to put the damn video packages together for many, many years.

I HATE YEAR-END REVIEWS.

So, in what has now become a year-end tradition, I give you “The Only Year End Review You Need.”

It’s short, to the point and has no pictures. Not because it doesn’t need them. It does. I’m just too lazy to look any up and I’m really into a video game that I want to get back to. I’d do this later but it’s the end of the year and I’m running out of time.

Curse the March of Time!

Here it is.

JANUARY:  Oh God, it still sucks.

FEBRUARY: It still sucks. And it’s really cold. And what the fuck is a “Polar Vortex?”

MARCH: Well, there’s always the Mueller Report.

APRIL: The Mueller Report is out!!

MAY: We waited two years for that???

JUNE: It just keeps getting worse.

AUGUST: Well, at least it’s warm. The warmest month in history. Great.

SEPTEMBER: They might impeach him!

OCTOBER:  Who was I kidding?

NOVEMBER: Holy Shit, they actually might impeach him!

DECEMBER: Holy Fuck! They impeached him! Yes! Wait, oh yeah, the Senate. Damn, this year sucked.

But there is hope. Next year is 2020. An election year. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Let’s just hope it’s not an oncoming train.



Categories: Holidays, humor, Tom Curley

Tags: , , ,

27 replies

  1. As the time kept getting nearer to the end of one year and the start of this new year, I became anxious and filled with dread…I pray it’s meaningless.

    Like

  2. Sorry – all our troops are coming home

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I did not watch or read any reviews. The year sucked so badly that I just didn’t want to revisit its awfulness.
    For us, it ended with our PM throwing a lavish New Year party at Kirribilli house, the PM’s Sydney residence, where guests could watch the Sydney fireworks. I thought it bad enough that the display went ahead but for the PM to throw a party on the same night that many Australians were sitting on a beach and preparing to get in the water to avoid bushfires was just the end. Arrogance of Trumpian proportions.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. No wait. You forgot to report how our economy is the best ever in history, all our troops are coming home and that our country was saved by a perfect phone call. 🃏

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Pancho, This is the BEST Year ender I’ve seen. You’re in a league of your own.

    We’ve been inundated with “Yr in review” pieces from everyone except the Animal Channel.

    FYI: you probably need new eyeliner and mascara.

    C.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Thank you for reviewing my year:) Have a Happy New Year – with bright days instead of trains.

    Like

  7. Much better, I hate end of year reviews and I reckon I could just dodge that train…

    Liked by 2 people

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