NO TOILET PAPER IN UXBRIDGE – Marilyn Armstrong

Garry likes to quote lines from “Airplane,” such as “I guess this was a bad day to give up sniffing glue.” That was, by the way, Lloyd Bridges. There were a series of these, starting with “I guess this was a bad day to give up smoking,” “… a bad day to give up drinking,” and ending with “… sniffing glue.”

I used to be a crazed hoarder of toilet paper. There are things I can’t live without. Coffee. Half-and-half. Dogfood. Birdseed. And absolutely toilet paper. One day, I decided I didn’t really need 30 or 40 rolls of TP in the closet at all times, so I started buying like a normal person. You know. A dozen rolls because we could always go back to the store for more.

Today, I sent Garry to buy stuff to drink, and a few other miscellaneous items. On the very top of the list was toilet paper. We were down to three rolls — not nearly enough.

The entire paper aisle at Hannaford’s was empty. No toilet paper and a few paper towels.  Undeterred, Garry went to Stop & Shop which is technically in Northbridge, but it’s almost in Uxbridge. They didn’t have any toilet paper either.

Garry came home and announced: “There is  no toilet paper in Uxbridge.” He decided to go out one more time to see if there was some across the state line. He managed to get four very small rolls of TP,  the last toilet paper in North Smithfield, Rhode Island.


I guess this was a bad time for me to give up hoarding toilet paper.


I went online. Amazon was sold out of all the normal kinds of toilet paper. Even the off brands were out of stock and not be available until the middle of April or later. I finally found some no-name toilet paper which would be available in about a week, so I went wild and bought two packages of 10-rolls each. For $19.

A little overpriced you say? Yes, but the whole thing about not price gouging because of the virus has not reached the sellers on Amazon or any of our grocery stores. And our three remaining rolls will barely last us that long.

Ellin’s toilet paper decor in the powder room

Usually, we can buy a full week of food and still have money left to fill the car with gasoline disappeared for about $120. Garry came home with three bags of bread, stuff to drink, half-and-half, mouthwash, toothpaste … and that’s all. No meat or vegetables. This would have cost about $40 or less a week ago. Actually, it did cost less than $40 a week ago. Today it cost $105. Owen said that the shopping he did this week cost twice as much as the same shopping he did last week. In the same store.

It’s hard not to resent people using this pandemic as a chance to cash in on other people’s distress. And still, there is no toilet paper in Uxbridge.



Categories: #Food, Coronavirus - Covid 19, Humor, Marilyn Armstrong

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60 replies

  1. No toilet paper in a Texas. Damn hoarders!!

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  2. the toilet paper thing is just bizarre . . . . I had to resort to Amazon here too because I was down to the last three rolls. Just don’t get it.

    Fortunately prices of things are not getting out of hand here yet, but guess it won’t be long. Some people though must have enough food to last them months, if not years!

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  3. Seriously wrong isn’t it Marilyn. It seems Australia is the one that commenced the great toilet paper rush. I wonder if the stock in those companies might be the only ones going up these days. I do apologise. I assume toilet paper is made in the US. Here in Australia every company is making more. It just takes time. Add to that living on and island and waiting for the products to come ashore here. sigh. I do feel for you. I think I might tear up an old flannel sheet to use over some of the cheap toilet paper we have here. Some is polished tissue? POLISHED! How curious it does not dry or clean very well. All the preppers will be in heaven wont they. I noted that all the vacuum long life 25+ year foods companies are out of stock too. I was just curious.

    I normally order from an Australian company called who gives a crap toilet paper. A box of 48rolls delivered to my home free of delivery charge. This lasts me almost a year. Of course I am almost out. Fortunately I had fifteen rolls of other loo paper left from when I began the box of paper.

    I have been ensuring I have food in the freezer for my dogs, just in case I get ill even with any flu I do this so it is easier to just defrost it and they are fed. (they eat home raw/cooked diet). I do hope you are able to get what you need. Are there many cases in your area?

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    • I REALLY wish I’d kept the chest freezer. But I hadn’t used it in a long time and it was eating a lot of electricity, so I figured I could let it go. Who knew?

      The stuff I ordered from Amazon is really junk and they are tiny rolls, too. I hope someone restocks soon! At least we aren’t out of food. I don’t have enough storage space to really store a lot of food for dogs or people, but since our dogs eat kibble with canned food or leftovers … and they don’t eat large amounts, they will be okay. Ironically, bird food has dropped way down in price. Well, that’s one positive note anyway.

      Otherwise, prices are just shooting up, even for non-essential stuff. Shame on all of them. And these people who run the local stores are our neighbors. They just issued a letter pointing out how much they care. I’m not seeing the “caring.”

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      • You can always plant the seed from the bird food. Sorry to hear the loo rolls ar not so good. Our government at least is cracking down on any inflammed prices. I felt rich I found three roll of toilet paper yesterday. Two I keep in my car, and one in my bedside drawer that I use as tissues. Oh being a weirdo has its bonuses.
        That is really a horrible situation with the local stores. I have not been shopping for 8 days but need to get a library book and some milk today. So it will be interesting to see how my local supermarket is.. They are usually wonderful very supportive of community ,helping ensure people can get to shop and will deliver it if the person is unable to . They let you pay things off if you cant afford it, or the bank says declined. even when you know your should have money in the account. Perhaps I live with rose coloured glasses on .

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  4. I only buy toilet paper once a year, of course, it’s just me and the dogs in the house, so not surprising. When I had to go live in my garage a while and didn’t want toilet paper lost or gone astray (I had to keep moving crap around for me and the dogs to live comfortably), I said “screw it” and went to office depot and bought a 24 pack of toilet paper. I do that each year now because that crap lasts me at least 10 months, and I can keep both bathrooms well stocked for that many.

    Shoot–office depot’s running out of a lot of TP, too… though there are some of the basic off-brand or generic kind you’d get at work (not price gouged, but limits set on them) 1 or 2 play toilet paper still available for shipping.

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  5. I was in the Aldi this evening and there are no paper products. In fact, there was not much of anything. No bread, rice, pasta. No cleaning products. Few vegetables or meat. Not even canned vegetables or meat. I saw this once before, after a blizzard. It was before the era when we could dig everything out in a day. By the way, we have plenty of toilet paper. I bought a 30 pack in Costco before this all started and we have not opened it yet. Good timing, eh?

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  6. It’s the world we live in at the moment

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    • But ye gods — no toilet paper? That’s really terrifying.

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      • So How much TP does one need for one little “anal aperture”.., uh.., sorry I forgot that the girls are wiping a bit more than that. well, I can’t imagine the the paper products industry are not rallying to “restock America”.., so to speak?

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  7. There’s no TP in Brigham City either. Cold comfort, but we’re all being robbed… O_o

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  8. Perhaps partly because of our fires and quakes, there are laws in California against price gouging, defined as a raise in price of >10% I think. The shortages and limits still exist, but at least the prices remain somewhat sane.

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  9. Our stores are empty of pretty much everything. Hence, my post today (hint-hint). Hopefully, they’ll restock soon.

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  10. Same empty shelves here,too, but some store still have enough food supplies, although they may be short on TP until they can get more. Price gouging is totally unacceptable. After all this is over, and it will be, I would be hesitant to buy from the stores that took advantage of the townspeople.

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    • We don’t have much choice. There are only two grocery stores in Uxbridge. One is overpriced all the time and the other is temporarily overpriced. But I am pissed off about it. We are their neighbors. Shame on them.

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    • What did they do in Shinbone — when Liberty Valance came to town?

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  11. Well crap (poor choice of words perhaps). Now I really REALLY need to wend my way to the grocery store to fight the hoards of mothers with sticky fingered, snotty nosed children, old farts who dodder in my old fart way, and other miscreants that I usually avoid with a vengeance! I’ve resisted going because I have a burgeoning cold and didn’t want to spread germs. I also didn’t want to get hit in the head with a #10 can of peaches because some idiot thinks I have coronavirus. I have a 12 pack of TP in the garage, a three pack of paper towels (which can’t be substituted for TP. My plumbing rebels), two more rolls in the hall cupboard (TP), so I have more than enough perhaps. And I’m out of money too and it’s only the 14th. Usually my pittance stretches to at least the third week of the month, but I’ve noticed the hike in prices here too. And just in time for St. Patrick’s Day, which is one holiday I like to cook for – corned beef being one of my all time favorites. Well sh*t. Or maybe don’t. There isn’t any bum fodder available! Let me know if you need some rolls, I’d be happy to ship a few your way! Gotta be cheaper than buying the stuff, right? 😮

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    • I bought everything i could find and Owen bought everything HE could find. Presumably, they will restock TP. I have to hope that we get this mess under control soon. My son is now officially more worried about Garry and me than himself.

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  12. There was no toilet paper at our grocery stores either. What is with this toilet paper fixation? Prices are definitely higher here too.
    Leslie

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  13. I don’t think this phenomenon has been seen by our generation before!

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  14. so funny, but true here too

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  15. “It’s hard not to resent people using this pandemic as a chance to cash in on other people’s distress.” Human nature at its worst.

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  16. Just to be sure I bought one pack of TP every time I went shopping. I now have thirty rolls of my normal and it cost the same. I still don’t get it. Today our two major grocery stores gave out a message that they have no shortages of anything.

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  17. Made me chuckle because I am back at our still unsold house in France and the first thimg I did was taking the extra rolls of TP from every of the 3 bathrooms to take back home with me tomorrow….

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  18. The major supermarkets here, Coles and Woolworths have put a limit on TP and certain other items, pasta and flour I know, not sure what else. You can only buy 1 pack of TP at a time. It’s still running out. I had quite a lot in the house, with 3 toilets we had stocked up so there would be spare rolls in every loo. I still have I think about 10 rolls and ordered a packet with my regular grocery shop. I am a bit anxious about that order, more for the food. If they don’t fulfil the order properly I will have to see what I can get in the supermarket in Wynyard the next day. If they run out of things I’m pretty much screwed. I would be worried about running out of bread, margarine/butter, tea and coffee, milk and pet food. If the TP runs out there are tissues and after that, it will be something that I will have to wash out after use.

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    • Gets sort of icky! I ordered some via Amazon. Not normal TP. This is the stuff that’s usually really cheap but oddly enough, no longer is cheap.

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        • Rich — this, too, shall pass. Make sure you have the Charmin…when it passes. Lordy, this is NUTS!

          Rich — I think it’s time for the Ken Burns, “Baseball” series again. We’ll use dish towels in emergencies.

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      • Owen looking after us — the best thing to happen to us in a long time. I am very grateful.
        Owen — you’ll do.

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    • I’m just hoping the food situation stays more of less normal because I simply don’t have room to do large amounts of storage. I JUST bought dog food and that will keep them at least a month and I just bought coffee. I think we’re out of tea. We have half & half, but since that stuff spoils, so we probably won’t run out … and there’s a farm around the corner where they have fresh eggs daily and fresh milk too. If it were a little later in the season, there would also be corn and veggies, but it’s too early for crops.

      I’m wondering how hard a hit the entire economy is going to take. So many people out of work either because their businesses have closed or their kids are out of school and there’s no one to care for them.

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      • Yes the side effects are going to be just as bad. Our government has just announced a stimulous package of tax breaks for business and even a cash handout for pensioners and unemployed people . We were already going into recession before this. There is much talk of the need to compensate casual workers who have to self isolate or whose place of employment has to close because those people don’t have paid sick leave. I think some arrangement is being made for them to access welfare.

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