THE BATHING OF BONNIE AS THE APOCALYPSE RIDES BY – Marilyn Armstrong

There comes a moment in time when your beloved dog smells like a pile of indescribable offal. Bonnie had reached an intolerable stage and finally, all the stuff I ordered — shampoo, detangler, steel combs, brushes arrived. I told Garry last night we were going to bathe her today. He agreed, but I don’t think he was actually listening.

Clean!

So when I paused the morning coffee and said “We are going to bathe Bonnie,” he looked like I’d struck him with lightning. You can’t pause the coffee. It’s just not done. But it was today. It was already two in the afternoon. We’d slept through most of the rainy day. It was cold and wet and miserable. I didn’t see any point in getting up anyway. Yesterday, Garry got his first best home haircut.

Today, Bonnie got her very unprofessional kitchen grooming. She doesn’t look groomed. Mostly, she looks cleaner and smells better. I know she smells better because Duke gets very excited by floral scents and the moment we had her out of the bath, he was hot and horny.

At 13, nothing makes Bonnie hot and horny except food.

That was our day, more or less. Our money finally showed up, so I spent a lot of it paying down credit cards, buying grow lights for the plants, and calling doctors for prescription refills. I ordered masks because you can’t go into town without them, though who knows when they will get here.

By the time I was done, there was surprisingly little money remaining.

On another topic, four figures in the Book of Revelation symbolize the evils to come at the end of the world. The figure representing conquest rides a white horse. War sits on a red mount. Famine rides a black horse. Plague sits on a pale horse. They are often called the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

We are always at war and conquest never seems to come out of it. We are living through Plague and it seems that Famine is just around the bend. Death has been having a high old time for the past three months.

Also, I think our really bad government deserves a place on the team. Total incompetence should ride in a big black Humvee, don’t you think?



Categories: Cartoons, dogs, Humor, Marilyn Armstrong, Political Cartoons

Tags: , , , , ,

13 replies

  1. I think something better is suppose to come after this?

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    • That’s the theory. We get an hour or two of the sun between rainstorms. Otherwise, grey and wet and COLD.

      Liked by 2 people

      • You did a PROFESSIONAL job on Bonnie. She looks and smells so much better. Just ask Duke. I found her eyes with ease this morning, giving her the early morning eyes cleanup. I’m sure she feels better. Thanks, for all of us, for giving The Princess a royal spa treatment.

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  2. I know you usually take the dogs to a groomer so DIY dog washing must have been quite a task especially with a long-haired dog like Bonnie.
    I find it quite difficult to bathe Cindy now. luckily she has short hair but she weighs 25kg, I can’t lift her. She never liked getting into the tub much but would do it for me but now she’s older she is understandably afraid of slipping. During the summer I took her outside and sort of sponged her down. Last time I needed to bathe her I managed to get her into the shower cubicle. The shower room is tiny so I was able to block her in with my body while I washed her. I laugh at the instructions that say things like “leave conditioner on the dog for five minutes” have they even met any dogs? Anyway glad you all survived the adventure.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Is Bonnie a Scottish Terrier? 🙂 😕

    Liked by 1 person

    • Indeed she is. A bit porky and old, but surprisingly perky.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I’ve seen you comment at CM‘s site about your hubby, but hadn’t noticed your dog. We had a darling female Scotty for years. When she passed, we got another one. When my Father had to go into a nursing home, we added his male. When they both left us, we (mistakenly) made do with a Wheaten/schnauzer/poodle cross for over a decade. Two years ago, we corrected that mistake by adopting a male and female Scotty from the same litter. If you have any interest, the story, with photos, is here. https://archonsden.wordpress.com/2018/10/29/18-a-to-z-challenge-puppy-love/

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        • I would get another Scottish Terrier in a heartbeat, if we could afford one (I don’t think we can), but when Bonnie goes, that will be the end of young dogs. We got Bonnie when she was 9-weeks old and she has been our delight ever since. Gibbs, the other Scottie, was a rescue.

          Duke was bestowed on us by our granddaughter who knows we never say no to a homeless pet. But we are getting pretty old. Young dogs need owners who will train them and walk with them and we don’t have the energy. Not having a terrier seems like a terrible loss. We had two Norwich Terriers earlier, but I think I enjoyed the two Scotties more. A pity we lost Gibbs so suddenly. We’d only had him four years.

          Liked by 1 person

      • Princess Bonnie, if you please. reigning Monarch of the New England Scottie kingdom.

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