I got really tired of the endless hunt for toilet paper, especially when you find some, they say you can have one roll. We have three toilets, so what do we do? Pass it around?

I managed to get the last known 24-roll package of Charmin on Amazon in March and it was finally delivered sometime in early April. Not only do we have three toilets, we also have three asses. Two guys and me. Owen and I took readily to the “point and shoot” hose type of bidet. Garry took a while longer, but eventually, he liked it too.

You actually feel clean. I have never found that kind of cleanliness with toilet paper. A few people went “EW. TMI!” This made me wonder why it should be more repulsive to hose your butt with clean, cold water rather than smearing the gunk around with paper — not to mention the paper clogs in the pipes.

Did you know that worldwide, the equivalent of almost 270,000 trees is either flushed or dumped in landfills 365 days a year? Roughly 10% of that total is attributable to toilet paper (according to the latest issue of World Watch Magazine). Toilet paper wipes out 27,000 trees a day. If for no better reason, we might consider that in every country around the world, trees are vanishing and we are using them to wipe our asses.

Unless you designed your bathroom to have a separate space for a bidet in its own place — which would require a rather bigger bathroom than most of us have –you can add an adjustable hose. It is very easy to install and I like the hose better. I like to aim it where I want it — and It has other uses, like cleaning the toilet. I’m told it’s marvelous for washing diapers now that cloth diapers have made a comeback. I was actually surprised at the popularity of paper diapers. I used cloth for my kid and paper only when we were traveling.

Hibbent Dual Function 2 Sprayer(Stream/Jet) Handheld Bidet Toilet Shattaf Cloth Diaper Sprayer Kit – Premium Hand Shower for Personal Hygiene Cleaning with No Leaking Attachment – Stainless Steel

That’s what I love about how we save the world. We go back to cloth diapers. Nice. Diapers have a lot of uses and make the best polishing cloths (if you are a polishing kind of person). BUT. We while we aren’t using paper diapers, we cut down 27,000 trees every single day because we think we need to use mounds of paper to smear our butts rather than hosing it down.

We have three of them, one for each potty. I’m not happy with mine, only because turning it on and off is awkward. I like Garry’s much better. It has an easy to use on/off valve and you don’t need to peer behind the toilet to find it.

It’s not that I never use toilet paper. I just use a lot less and I feel a lot cleaner too. I use paper to clean my eyeglasses, clean the sink drain, blow my nose (no tissues either). It’s less expensive, less environmentally damaging in an area with plenty of water, and makes us all feel so clean.

Categories: Humor, Marilyn Armstrong

Tags: , , , ,

25 replies

  1. … in a tiny very old hotel in Western Switzerland. I did wash my feet in it and had no idea what it was meant for. My boss, the next morning over a pre meeting coffee nearly burst a vessel over my tale…. Me, an urban young woman, not knowing that!
    PS: They are still great to soak your feet…..


  2. I got acquainted with bidets my first time


  3. I love bidets! We all need them!


  4. So, in keeping with our asshole in chief’s terminology, we could call this “TPgate”, especially since it’s one of the silliest events ever.., the silliest in the history of the USA and the world. It’s HUGE!!


  5. I may have to give it a try, although cold water sprayed on my butt might be a bit chilling, shall we say?


    • Surprisingly, it isn’t. Our well is 475-feet deep so that water is COLD but it doesn’t bother us. Most people are not bothered by it. With a little extra plumbing (definitely DIY stuff), you can attach it to the hot water in the sink. I made a better choice for the second model (the illustrated one) because the one in my bathroom is a pain to reach. There are a lot of these on Amazon. They aren’t particularly expensive. Almost all of the hose versions run around $60, + or – a few dollars.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I’d consider it but for two things. 1) I don’t have enough space, and even with the hose idea (not a bad idea at all!), I couldn’t plumb it myself. I don’t have the money to have a plumber come put one in either. 2) My hand strength SUCKS and with the increasing tremor in my left hand, I’d have water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink :lol:. Still it’s an environmentally friendly GREAT idea! Thanks for pointing it out! 🙂


  7. Something to seriously think about . . . just saying


  8. In Muslim countries this is a norm.


  9. Totally agree with you on that! It’s a common practice in India… people can give it a try at least during covid times instead of going out in search of tp and exposing themselves to the virus 🦠 I’ve seen in many households, even kitchen towels are being replaced with cloth napkins which can be washed on regular basis! Moreover it reduces the burden on our planet, is eco friendly and easier on our pockets too…


  10. And the bidet spray is heaven to use after childbirth, when everything feels so tender and sore underneath after pushing a baby out – not that I’ve had any babies in the last 30 years or so, but the memory remains 🙂


  11. That is a good idea Marilyn. I wasn’t aware of it.


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