DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE – Marilyn Armstrong


I am drowning. Drowning in decisions I can’t make because I don’t know enough to make them. Drowning in email. Exhausted from trying to be everything I used to be but don’t have the strength to be now. Worried about the world. Worried about us.

How can this be? I am retired. How come I don’t have enough hours in a day to do half the things I need to do? How come? How come the moment I clear out my email, it’s full again? How come I think I’ve written and scheduled posts for weeks to come, but I look and tomorrow is lying there empty, accusing me of slacking.

Drawing: Sir-John-Tenniel

Drawing: Sir-John-Tenniel

I feel like Alice, running with the Red Queen:

“My dear, here we must run as fast as we can, just to stay in place. And if you wish to go anywhere you must run twice as fast as that.”  

 Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

If this is Wonderland, am I Alice?

Categories: Uncategorized

16 replies

  1. It’s called exhaustion. And very understandably so. I’m younger than you, healthier than you and I often ask myself the same questions too. So you shouldn’t worry….. Accept it, you have every right to be tired, fed up, at the end of your strength.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. As we age, time seems to move at an ever faster and faster rate. E=mc2 describes the conversion of mass to energy as we approach the speed of light. Maybe that’s what’s going on in our bodies? We’re slowly transitioning to an energy form.., but first we must go though a series of aches, pains and frustrations and then we’re “Free”, OMG free at last.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I am sorry to read this, Marilyn, you sound quite distressed. You don’t have to blog everyday. Blogging is a fun hobby, if you miss a few days, that is fine.


  4. I hear and feel this. I am currently trying to reorganize my life into what is vital and what needs to go. I absolutely love Alice!! Great analogy to this feeling of “not enough time” and too much to keep up with. I wish you the best in getting it all sorted. 🌟😊🌟

    Liked by 1 person

    • Despite isolation, life hasn’t gotten less complicated. Maybe more complicated because I lot of things we used to be able to do in a one day “shop and errand” run now has to be ordered or my son has to do it … or there’s some other crazy complication. I really have only myself to blame. The things that keep me busy are things I want to do. It’s just that age has a way of slowing one down and I can’t got at full tilt like I used to. I need recovery time between activities. I know that shouldn’t surprise me, but it does. My brain is not old, but the rest of me is … so I have to get better at pacing myself and not over-extending myself. I could just quit writing and shooting … but I don’t want to. It’s actually kind of frustrating that this time has come which reminds me in many ways of the way life was in the 60s when I was in high school and college. I’m just not that kid anymore. I feel like I ought to be doing more.

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Sometimes it feels like that. Time for a nap….


    • I’m trying to get up the energy to do some baking. Garry did a local TV show this morning. I took pictures. Then groceries. But I really want to make some soft pretzels and if I don’t start now, it’ll be too late to start. It’s all my own fault. I hate not doing things.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Try the Serenity prayer: God grant me the serenitiy to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can,and the wisdom to know the difference. I have to cant that to between taking deep breaths.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Marilyn, you are in top gear, by this hour, all the birds in the surrounding woods are getting ready to visit, this woman likes us, and she gives, Marilyn, speed of heart, you have a lot of wisdom in you, so you are blessed, because heaven is real, seriously.

    Liked by 1 person

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