I am drowning. Drowning in decisions I can’t make because I don’t know enough to make them. Drowning in email. Exhausted from trying to be everything I used to be but don’t have the strength to be now. Worried about the world. Worried about us.
How can this be? I am retired. How come I don’t have enough hours in a day to do half the things I need to do? How come? How come the moment I clear out my email, it’s full again? How come I think I’ve written and scheduled posts for weeks to come, but I look and tomorrow is lying there empty, accusing me of slacking.
I feel like Alice, running with the Red Queen:
“My dear, here we must run as fast as we can, just to stay in place. And if you wish to go anywhere you must run twice as fast as that.”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
If this is Wonderland, am I Alice?