THE DAY OF MORTGAGE BROKERS AND SEXY SQUIRRELS

Remember how I said that Owen got the feeders back up on hooks? And how does this have anything to do with mortgage brokers?

I’m glad you asked. In a last desperate attempt to generate some money so we can not only get a boiler, but fix the back door and get the deck reattached to the house — and maybe even get new planks that aren’t a mass of splinters, I decided to have one final go at seeing if I could get a refinance on this house. Mortgage rates are very low right now, generally between 2.5% and 3%. We got a HARP loan while Obama was President. To get our overblown mortgage under control, HUD took over $80,000 of our mortgage.

For the past 8 years they have held that money. Payment and interest free. During that time, we managed to get the mortgage down by almost $50,000. And now, with the rates as low as they are, even adding the $80.000 back into the mortgage and taking out $15,000 extra to fix a few things in the house and leave us a little money to pay off a bunch of small credit cards with very low totals, the mortgage would STILL be lower than it is now at its current 4.8%.

So I’m talking to the very pleasant — and creative — broker from Mutual of Omaha — and there’s something weird going on out the back windows. On the deck. There’s a big white flag waving. Finally, I got up and went to look — still talking to the broker — and realized it was two squirrels humping their little furry hearts out on top of the new feeder. All that waving were their tails.

They were having a fine time. “It’s that time of year,” said the broker.

“Well,” I said, “The squirrels sure think so.” When I finally got a telephone break — before the next call came in — they had somehow detached and broken the feeder. It’s somewhere on the ground. Probably crushed. Of course it was the brand new feeder, not the old feeder. This probably proves that you might as well pay more for the better product because the cheaper ones tend to die sooner. In this case, it wasn’t much cheaper, but it was the only one that promised to have a mesh big enough for sunflower seeds. It lasted exactly ONE day until the happy humping squirrels took it down. I have gone through an awful lot of bird (squirrel?) feeder (mating platforms?). Forget the price of seed. The feeders are killing me.

There is a \a better than even chance that we’ll get the mortgage. So how come we couldn’t get a 0% heating loan for $7000, but can get a $250,000 mortgage? Does that make any kind of sense?

We are going away for a couple of days to visit Tom and Ellin. We are taking the Duke, but Owen will be here to hold the fort. If I don’t correspond much, it’s because I’m taking a break from dealing with EVERYTHING — banks, bankers, brokers, interest rates, et al. — and most especially banks. And I got to watch some very happy squirrels.

Author: Marilyn Armstrong

Opinionated writer with hopes for a better future for all plus a big helping of cynicism.

8 thoughts on “THE DAY OF MORTGAGE BROKERS AND SEXY SQUIRRELS”

  1. Nature takes its course, lol. Glad the squirrels are happy, sorry about the feeder, delighted your taking time away, and I sincerely hope you get the mortgage. Love you. Have fun! I’m smiling ear to ear for you.

    Like

    1. And WHY on top of the feeder? It’s not a big feeder, so it had to require an excessive degree of agility. We found the feeder this morning. Just a little bit banged up. Not too bad. Meanwhile, the squirrels were back on the deck wondering where the feeder went.

      Duh.

      Like

Talk to me!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.