EVERYONE IS BLAH

It’s true. I try to be upbeat, but I don’t really think I succeed. I don’t feel well. I don’t know if I’m actually sick since I can’t see my doctor. Unless I’ve got COVID and then, I go to the hospital and I still don’t see my doctor. Or anyone else. I already told Garry and Owen that if I should somehow come down with it, I don’ t want to go to the hospital to die alone. If I’m going to die, I’d rather do it at home.

By the waters of Babylon

Everyone is feeling blah. Some of us feel sick. Others just lacking in energy, even to do things we normally enjoy very much. In this case, it’s taking pictures. It’s actually hard for me to pick up my camera. Or one of my instruments. What do I enjoy most? Talking with Garry and Owen. Corresponding with friends on the internet. The occasional Zoom chat. The Duke. The beautiful leaves. I don’t feel like writing but I do it anyway. I feel rather lost and sad.

The street on which we live
Wall by the waters

How many others feel like this? This kind of emptiness and lack of drive. The feeling of having lost something. Having lost something and not being entirely sure what exactly we have lost, but it was a profound loss nonetheless.

Path followers in early autumn
Horse chestnuts

Because the world is still beautiful and we got almost half an hour of rain this afternoon, I will include pictures. Because however blah we may feel, the world is — for a time — beautiful.

Author: Marilyn Armstrong

Opinionated writer with hopes for a better future for all plus a big helping of cynicism.

20 thoughts on “EVERYONE IS BLAH”

  1. This is eerie, Marilyn. I’ve just had more or less the same conversation with my husband. Please know that you’re by no means alone. There are vast numbers of people are feeling blah at the moment. And there is a big sense of loss, of our lifestyles and everything that’s ‘the norm’. Tough times, You’re absolutely right though, the world is still a beautiful place, as your pictures prove. Just hang in there, keep connecting with it and focus on a time when all this has passed. 🙂

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    1. That’s what we are doing, but it’s hard. I try not to be gloomy all the time and find whatever enery I can in being outside, but we are so locked down. We literally can’t travel between states. If we leave Massachusetts, we have to quarantine when we come back and considering we’ve been in quarantine since March 12th, it’s a bit much. My son thinks we at least need to get out to a restaurant and have someone serve us dinner — just to be briefly in a different world.

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      1. I know exactly how you feel, Marilyn. We were in a severe lockdown for 18 weeks earlier this year, and it was hell. We had our lives taken away from us. People were barely let out of their houses, only allowed to go out once a day for exercise (even then only if you could walk from your doorstep to it and not drive), or to shop for food. Everything was closed, from cafes and pubs to schools, museums and of course, the castles. Everywhere was like a ghost town. We fell into an monotonous existence rather than a life. My autistic son suffered terribly and his symptoms worsened significantly, and my daughter couldn’t do her GCSEs and she became almost a recluse in her room, saying worrying things like it wasn’t worth getting up out of bed. My husband lost his job, so now we live on next to nothing, limping from week to week, and the job market is dead. At the end of the day, us humans just aren’t meant to live all cooped up in cages, so lockdown can only create more problems for society than it solves. And then, as we now have a second wave of Covid, I’m not convinced locking down works anyway.

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    1. This has been such an awful year. Garry’s comment is that on New Year’s Eve we can tell the year to “not let the door him him on the way out.” I actually joined the Cornell Ornithological Society because we’ve lost billions of birds over the past decade and a bit. Originally it was assumed to be habitat issues, but that’s too may birds. We’ve lost a lot of them to viruses and bacterial infections. Even birds that normally nest near people in barns and birdhouses are vanishing. It’s not ONLY habitat and if they don’t get some research done and find out what the real cause is, we aren’t going to have birds. I decided I could somehow come up with $8/month to help fund research. That’s my high point of the day. We have NO money at all, but I figured that this was little enough and I might as well put my money where my mouth is.

      Part of the blahs is the sense that the world is slipping away from us. That our “home” — our world — is passing and while Earth will recover, I’m not sure humanity will. It’s an awful way to feel. If my $8 a month can help, it’s worth it.

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        1. Winter hangs around very late up here. It always has. This isn’t a “new” thing. Spring is just not a good season in Massachusetts. By the time the snow melts and the air starts warming, it’s already summer. We go from winter to summer often in one afternoon. It’s very pretty — for that four hours — but it’s not a season exactly. We also get snow very late in the year. We are often still digging out in April. LATE April.

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