It’s true. I try to be upbeat, but I don’t really think I succeed. I don’t feel well. I don’t know if I’m actually sick since I can’t see my doctor. Unless I’ve got COVID and then, I go to the hospital and I still don’t see my doctor. Or anyone else. I already told Garry and Owen that if I should somehow come down with it, I don’ t want to go to the hospital to die alone. If I’m going to die, I’d rather do it at home.
Everyone is feeling blah. Some of us feel sick. Others just lacking in energy, even to do things we normally enjoy very much. In this case, it’s taking pictures. It’s actually hard for me to pick up my camera. Or one of my instruments. What do I enjoy most? Talking with Garry and Owen. Corresponding with friends on the internet. The occasional Zoom chat. The Duke. The beautiful leaves. I don’t feel like writing but I do it anyway. I feel rather lost and sad.
How many others feel like this? This kind of emptiness and lack of drive. The feeling of having lost something. Having lost something and not being entirely sure what exactly we have lost, but it was a profound loss nonetheless.
Because the world is still beautiful and we got almost half an hour of rain this afternoon, I will include pictures. Because however blah we may feel, the world is — for a time — beautiful.