MURDER IN EASTON: A TRUE CRIME STORY – BY TOM CURLEY

All TV crime shows start the same way. A couple, or some kids, are doing something normal like walking in the park when they come upon a gruesome murder. The woman or girl screams, the man or boy usually throws up. The opening title plays and the good guys come back after a commercial for a reverse mortgage or some drug, and the good guys go work solving the crime.

I was recently one of those low paid extras. I was walking downstairs the other day, and this is what I found at the base of the steps.

In that I’m not a female I didn’t scream. I didn’t throw up either. I did let out a loud burp though. What can I tell you, sometimes I get gassy.

I called the Easton Police to report the murder of a dog toy. They hung up on me. I then reasoned that since the murder victim was a dog toy,  I needed to call the Veterinary Police. It turns out there is no such thing. I realized the only thing left was to call in famous TV detective Sgt. Joe Friday from the TV show Dragnet.

It turns out he was in Easton. He was visiting relatives in March and got stuck here in quarantine due to Covid-19. He agreed to take the case. I’ll let Sgt. Friday take over from here.

The following story is true. The names haven’t been changed to protect the innocent. It takes too much time.

(Hum the Dragnet theme)

SGT. FRIDAY: My name is Friday. I carry a badge. My partner is Bill Gannon. I was working robbery homicide in Easton Ct. There’s not a lot of homicide or robbery in Easton, but this day was different. I’ve seen a lot of murders in my time, but this one was bad. Really bad. I needed to call in a crime scene investigator. Mr. Curley, the one who called in the crime, told me the Easton Police would just hang up on me but he could do it himself. I asked if he had any training in crime scene investigation. He said he didn’t, but he’s watched every episode of CSI, CSI Miami and CSI New York. I gave him the go ahead.

Actually, he did a pretty good job. Now that I had the crime scene laid out, I needed to bring in my partner, Bill Gannon. Bill was still in L.A. also under quarantine so I contacted him using a Zoom call.

SGT. FRIDAY: Bill, it’s Friday. Can you hear me?
BILL GANNON:
SGT. FRIDAY: Bill, can you hear me? I can see you. I can’t hear you.
BILL GANNON:
SGT. FRIDAY: I can see you waving. Your mike is on mute.
BILL GANNON:
SGT. FRIDAY: Your mike is muted. You have to unmute it.
BILL GANNON:
SGT. FRIDAY: It’s a little icon that looks like a microphone. It’s in the lower left-hand side of your computer. You have to click on it.
BILL GANNON: Joe? Joe? Can you hear me?
SGT. FRIDAY: Yes. I hear you. But I can’t see you anymore. You turned your camera off.

I soon realized I was on my own with this one. I started interviewing members of the household. I began with Ellin Curley.

SGT. FRIDAY: Do you have any idea who might have wanted to harm this dog toy?
ELLIN: Probably our dog, Remy.
SGT. FRIDAY: And why would you think that?
ELLIN: She does that all the time.
SGT. FRIDAY: That’s speculation. I need the facts ma’am. Just the facts.
ELLIN: You need to make a fax? There’s a fax machine in the den. It also makes copies and can scan if you need it.
SGT. FRIDAY: Not fax ma’am. Facts.
ELLIN: I don’t understand. You don’t need to make a fax?

I realized this interview was going nowhere, so I talked to the other dog in the house, Lexi.

SGT. FRIDAY: Do you have any idea who might have done this?
LEXI: (translated from dog talk) Remy! She does this all the time! She’s ruined all my toys!!
SGT. FRIDAY: The interview was cut short when the doorbell rang and she ran off in a barking frenzy. I had already interviewed Mr. Curley so the only thing left to do was  stake out the crime scene. It’s not unusual for the criminal to return to the scene of the crime. Sure enough, the suspect, Remy, did return to the scene of the crime.

I observed her attempting to tamper with the evidence.

As I moved in to arrest her, she tried to flee the crime scene.

After a brief chase around kitchen and family room, I apprehended the suspect. Case closed.


EPILOGUE:

Remy the dog was convicted of murder of an innocent dog toy. She was sentenced to life living in the Curley household. She will have access to a large fenced in back yard and will not be allowed to leave.

Unless she wants to go for a walk, needs to go to the vet or we go down to our boat. She will also be subject to any number of hugs and kisses at the discretion of the Curleys. The moral of the story? Crime doesn’t pay. Or does it?



Categories: Crime and Cops, dogs, Humor, Pets, Photography

Tags: , , , , , , ,

20 replies

  1. Tommy, you need to seek professional help.., YOU’RE A SICK, SICK, MAN!

    Like

  2. aha!good thing you were on the case )

    Like

  3. lol, we have had a number of heinous crimes in our house, some much more gory than this, and, yes, the culprit does always return to the scene….

    Liked by 1 person

    • Duke is very gentle with toys. Bonnie was a fiend. She could tear the squeaker out of ANY toy in under 10 seconds. I miss her terribly, but it is nice to have a dog who plays with his toys and doesn’t instantly destroy them.

      We had a stuffed squirrel. I resewed that squirrel three times, replacing the squeaker with each repair until it didn’t look like any kind of creature. Then there was the day Bonnie ate the stuffing of a toy. One midnight trip to the doggy ER was enough for us. We stopped buying anything containing stuffing. Now we have heavy-duty UN-stuffed toys that are really sturdy and come with no fewer than THREE squeakers per toy. They are sturdy enough to play tug of war, though Duke always wins because he pulls my shoulder right out of its socket.

      We bought four of them from Chewy a year ago. I tried to get more of them this Christmas, but couldn’t find anyone who sold them. Maybe they’ll come back because they are the best toys (other than squeaky tennis balls) ever invented 😀

      Liked by 2 people

    • It’s usually the only way to catch them

      Liked by 1 person

    • That’s how they usually catch them

      Liked by 1 person

Talk to me!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

This, That, and The Other

Random musings on life, society, and politics.

Our Eyes Open

Come along on an adventure with us!

Keep it alive

A look at life, achieving good physical and mental health and happiness

Covert Novelist

Just another WordPress site

The Small Dog

Life from the Tail End

Cee's Chronic Illness Sisterhood

Peer support and hope for women with Chronic Illness and their support team.

Salted Caramel

Blogging, Motivation, Lifestyle and much more.

Sue Vincent's Daily Echo

Echoes of Life, Love and Laughter

Sarah's Attic Of Treasures

Making My Home A Haven is important to me. Sharing homemaking skills. Recipes and food. Bible Studies. This is a treasure chest of goodies. So take a seat. Have a glass of tea and enjoy. You will learn all about who I am.

Green Screen

The Environmental Movie Podcast

bushboys world

Photos of my world and other stuff I hope you will enjoy too. Photos taken with Canon PowershotSX70HS Photos can be purchased.

musingsofanoldfart

Independent views from someone who offers some historical context

The HOBBLEDEHOY

I use the best, I use the rest

My Blog

Just another WordPress.com site

National Day Calendar

Fun, unusual and forgotten designations on our calendar.

Cee's Photo Challenges

Teaching the art of composition for photography.

Trent's World (the Blog)

Random Ramblings and Reviews from Trent P. McDonald

Views from the Edge

To See More Clearly

serial monography: forgottenman's ruminations

wandering discourse, pedantic rant, self-indulgent drivel, languorous polemic, grammarian's bête noire, poesy encroachment approaching bombast, unintended subtext in otherwise intentional context, unorthodox unorthodoxy, self-inflected rodomontade, …

draliman on life

Because sometimes life just makes you stop and think

The English Professor at Large

Posts about old Hollywood, current concerns

sparksfromacombustiblemind

EMBERS FROM SOMEONE DOGGEDLY TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OF IT ALL...

The Day After

Musings, Photography, Writing, and More

THE SHINBONE STAR

NO LONGER ENCUMBERED BY ANY SENSE OF FAIR PLAY, EX-JOURNALISTS RETURN TO ACTIVE DUTY TO FIGHT THE TRUMPIAN MENACE!

Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss

Welcome to the Anglo Swiss World

ScienceSwitch

Your Source For The Coolest Science Stories

A Day In The Life

People, Places, Nature, LIFE!

Curious Steph

explorations on the journey of living

%d bloggers like this: