It was a wild wild week, yet it feels as if nothing happened. Well, maybe a few things occurred. Garry got part one of his vaccination and a date for part two. I found someone to take care of our taxes, I think.

Vaccination at Dartmouth High School

COVID has changed everything and sometimes, I don’t notice. But then, I do something that used to be simple and I realize it isn’t simple anymore. There’s no one to call, no one to talk to. You get taped messages where you used to at least get put on hold. Now, it’s a miracle to even get to the “on-hold” part of the call. Most of the time, there isn’t a contact number. Not for the telephone or email. As often as not, I realize I’ve forgotten how to do simple things which used to be easy.

We drove down to Dartmouth High School for Garry’s vaccination. It turned out to be a great choice. Even though it was a longer ride than other potential locations, it was an easy drive (not counting the re-numbered — or maybe NOT renumbered — highway exits). They were very pleasant and accommodating too. I brought my camera thinking I might get a few pictures. There wasn’t much to shoot, but I took a few shots to go with this post. Anyway, we’ve gotten used to driving long distances because when you live in the middle of nowhere, getting anywhere takes a while.

What have I been doing? Worrying. About money, about getting older, about getting stressed from worrying too much. Wondering what is really wrong with me or Garry and not seeing a doctor because we really don’t want to know. I thought I’d given up worrying, but along came 2020. Suddenly, all the worry I hadn’t been doing came back with the powerful wings of chickens heading for their roosts and feeders. Those chickens always come home when you least expect them.

Good to know the ER people are close at hand

I think as I untangle myself from my big bag of stress, I might be able to relax enough to say something sensible. I’ve been trying so hard to not let this endless siege get to me, but it got to me. I swear it snuck under the doors and through tiny cracks in the walls of the house. Now, I guess like everyone else, I have to dig out of this emotional hole into which I have crawled. I know at some point, the world will be more normal though I’m not sure what “normal” is. I’m not sure if I know how to be normal. If I only I thought when we “normalized,” I’d also be younger and healthier. That would make it more worthwhile.

Are they vaccinating pets too?

I’m so worried about everything I don’t know who or what I’m most worried about. Everyone is having physical issues ranging from serious but non-lethal, to remission before everything falls to pieces. My friends have cancer, MS, Parkinson’s, glaucoma, arthritis, and the beginning of dementia. We laugh about our bad health. We might as well laugh because as we get older, we’ve all got something wrong with us. It comes with the territory. We keep hanging on.

See how blue the sky was? Who knew we’d get more than a foot of snow in less than 24 hours?

I wouldn’t mind this “time out” if when I emerged, I’d be able to DO something, but I’m a year older and there wasn’t a lot I could do last year, so I’m not expecting this year to be much better. I am just hoping that something will be better and I’ll be able to recognize the difference.

Categories: Anecdote, Coronavirus - Covid 19, Epidemic - Pandemic - Plague, Health, Photography, Vaccination

Tags: , , , , ,

10 replies

  1. This gal in SW Missouri hears you. Your post is reminiscent of a conversation with my Mom. Her older brother, an idolized uncle, dad, and brother to 5, is fighting dementia. It’s happening so fast. My Mom has been fortunate to have all her siblings still here on this planet with us. Dad has only 1 sister left. I’ve recorded them all sitting around my Mom’s kitchen table in the past. Last year, immediately before shut-down, Mom had all her siblings sitting around the table; as usual, I was all eyes and ears. And I also decided to record it. It’s so precious to me.
    It’s hard to tell someone to stop worrying. Especially if they’ve spent 75-80 years doing it. So, I surround that person with as much love and happiness as possible. And lots of jokes. Humor helps and my family loves a good laugh. I’m so glad you are both progressing with immunization. Your pics always make great icing on your post cakes. Take care!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I did pretty well at the “not worrying” thing for the past 12 years. Then came Trump and eventually, 2020 hit. It coincided with running out of money, a lot of deaths and illness of friends, political frenzy, and the realization that we are killing our home, aka Earth.

      I know worrying doesn’t help, but since we’ve all be essentially locked in our crates for a year and there’s no end in sight, worry has become what we do when we aren’t reading, writing, watching the birds, or a movie. It’s not healthy to lock the world into crates. Whoever isn’t worried simply hasn’t watched the news πŸ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s times like this that I remember what my mother used to say. Don’t waste your energy worrying. What ever will be, will be and worrying won’t make a difference.


    • I worked really hard on not worrying, but this last year of being locked in the crate has made “not worrying” a whole lot harder. Taking pictures and writing have always been outlets, but for the past year and some, they have just been expressions of all the worry that seems to have fallen on our heads. I’m hoping that we will emerge and have some time left to enjoy our lives.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. This is from one worrier to another. We need to let a lot of things go. We need to ask,”Can I control this particular situation?” If the answer is “No,” then c cut it loose, unfetter ourselves. If the answer is “Yes,” then we find a solution. It’s not easy and it our energy is challenged. I am wondering if I will be able to walk sans a walker again within a month. It’s been over over that since I last did. I’m do strengthening exercises given to me by a dear friend who is a professional body builder. Taxes are looming, and that’s going to be more difficult to round up the information. Fortunately, I have a tax person who will deal with the actual filing. My immediate worry is to find a place to schedule my second vaccine shot. And so it goes.


    • I know we really have no control, but within the limits of the things I should be able to control, everything has gone completely wacko. I’m hoping that it all gets straightened out SOON. I need to get back into the world and remember what life is supposed to be like!

      Garry got lucky. The place he got his first shot scheduled him for the second one and confirmed it! I’m going to have to do this again for me, probably within the next couple of weeks. Maybe I’ll get lucky, too. We used to have AARP do our taxes, but they are mostly closed down. My son thinks he can do them since now that they’ve raised the standard deduction so much, it’s more than we could deduct. I guess we’ll see!


  4. It is a step forward that Garry has had his first vaccination shot. I hope you will get yours soon too. Let’s hope the vaccination programme will make a difference for you.


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Tish Farrell

Writer on the Edge



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