THE THIEF

Yesterday, I made pasta and sauce. Owen had baked fresh bread the day before. There was one piece left and Garry came out of the kitchen clutching the bread while announcing, “I got the last piece of bread!” About 10 seconds later, Duke snagged the bread right out of his hand and ran away with it. It wouldn’t have been so bad if he had, at least, eaten the bread. He didn’t eat it . The Duke doesn’t like bread. He put it in his mouth and ran in and out of the house with it. I swear he stood in front of Garry and laughed at him while holding onto the bread.

Finally, at the end of the evening, he came up and dropped the bread into Garry’s lap. By that time, it had been out in the snow and dirt, on the floor, in the crate, and mostly, in Duke’s mouth, though maybe he thought he was returning it and now Garry would eat it. Dog’s have very different ideas of what’s yummy than most people. Or maybe he thought it was a toy and Garry would throw it for him. While Garry mumbled “you haven’t heard the last of this,” the Duke drifted off to sleep. He was happy. He stole the bread and he returned it. A kind of double whammy.

Deranged Duke, the thieving conniver of dogs

Do you think he took the bread just to taunt Garry with it? He never took a single bite out of it and he gave it back. That’s a dog with a sense of humor.

Right after I finished the first part of this post, the Duke stole a piece of freshly baked (well, boiled and baked) soft pretzel plus two prunes. I don’t know if he ate the pretzel. It was very salty. I’m pretty sure he ate the prunes, but shows no — uh — side effects. He also stole Owen’s underpants and two of my socks, but not a matched pair.

Usually, whatever is missing is in the crate. That’s the Duke’s cave and all his treasures are there. Owen did find his underpants. Not chewed up or anything. Just hidden. And he returned Garry’s bread, but he didn’t return either my prunes or my pretzel. He is becoming quite the thief. But it’s isn’t the usual hunger theft since he has no interest in eating the food.Β  He just steals it, runs around with it and grins with joy.

I also think he just discovered he likes snow. I know because there are clumps of snow all over the living room and kitchen. He wouldn’t stop running long enough for me to dry him off.

We have a deranged dog with sense of humor.

NOTE: Last night, we found the missing piece of pretzel. He did bring it back, but he left it on the floor in front of the sofa. What a good boy!



Categories: Anecdote, Criminality, dogs, Garry Armstrong, Humor, Photography

Tags: , , , , , , ,

26 replies

  1. Oh, the joy of befriending a rogue mutt! I have one who is quite the thief as well, though he rarely returns the object. And if he does, it is in a bedraggled condition. But, I love him and he is healing my heart. So that counts for something.

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  2. Maybe his own sense of justice, too. After all, he returned the bread. And nothing he steals leaves the house. In fact, the snow is brought in (how nice). I don’t know, kind of a break-even Robin Hood?

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  3. I can see this in my mind just like a movie, Marilyn:)

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    • It was hilarious, but I think we need to try to convince El Duque that stealing food from our hands is probably, long-term, uncool. Fortunately, he hates being yelled at so just shouting NO might do the job. He is awfully funny, though.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I think Duke had regrets about his actions. I find it quite remarkable, he just didn’t realize that it was an action he couldn’t take back.
    Leslie

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  5. Hence the term bread-winner!!!

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  6. I love that second photo! They do like to laugh at us…

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  7. That really is hilarious. Yes, I am sure he just took the bread to tease Garry, maybe he hoped to be chased or bribed with a dog treat to get it back. It wouldn’t occur to him that Garry wouldn’t want to eat it after that. So aggravating when they take something that you wanted to eat and then they don’t eat it. Teddy is a shocker for that.
    I’m sure he thought it was a great lark stealing Owen’s socks and jocks too. Clean ones or out of the laundry basket? I guess used ones smell good to a dog.
    We used to have a dog when we were children who would take random stuff outside, our toys of course but also a transistor radio and a money tin complete with $10, that was a lot to lose in 1970 especially if you’d been saving it up. Luckily it was retrieved intact before the dog went to the butcher for sausages.

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    • I actually think this is Duke’s sense of humor at work. I’m sure it never occurred to him that Garry wouldn’t WANT the bread after he’d dragged it in and out of the house for a few hours. But he is awfully funny.

      Owen’s stuff was fresh from the drying. And the socks were mine — ALSO fresh from the dryer. It’s a tease. A very GOOD tease!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Naomi’s little dog Toby liked to steal small items like Barbie doll shoes and accessories when he was a puppy. He quickly learned that we’d bribe him with a treat to give them back. I know that’s rewarding bad behaviour but obviously we didn’t want him to swallow them. Bad for him and for the toys. He’s nine now and when we unpacked some Barbie’s recently a shoe fell on the floor and he took off with it. They don’t forget.

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  8. He’s beautiful and delightful. He loves getting your attention with his antics.

    Liked by 1 person

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