To say that this has been a confusing times doesn’t even come close to reality. In the period since lockdown which took place the day after my last birthday on March 12, 2020, an awful lot of stuff has happened. Both of our Scottish Terriers died. It’s hard being without a terrier. We’ve had one for so many years. We were offered a great little dog last night, but it’s a boy and Duke bullies smaller male dogs. He was a relentless bully to Gibbs and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop it. I felt awful about it and I’m not going to put another dog through that. I have a feeling Duke is convinced he killed them because he really wanted to be the dominant dog and now, he is.
One of my best friends recently died. Technically, it was for no known reason, but I suspect it was a stroke. He had warnings, but mini-strokes don’t leave anything for tests to find. Realizing he’ll never call me again is strange and sad. I guess we aren’t going to save up for a trip to the west coast, though we might make it to the Southwest once more, if we live long enough. He had moved to Oregon, so we only communicated by phone — but still, I knew he was there and his “there-ness” was a comfort. Everyone seems to have remembered him for his technical abilities which were remarkable.
I remembered him differently. As the guy who taught me who was who and what was what in modern (rock, pop, folk, etc.) music. The person who gave me a love for music I had been missing because when everyone else was into modern stuff, I was wrapped in Beethoven, Bach, and Grieg piano sonatas. I remember him as the man who taught me how to make perfect matzah brie and the only person in my life who loved Jewish food and had a really powerful sense of “Yiddishkeit.” We could be “Jewish” together and laugh about things that were funny if you were Jews, but weren’t funny to people who were brought up in mixed households or weren’t Jewish. I know I’m not a very connected member of my tribe, but I treasure the food and the memories and the holidays. There’s no one with whom to share them anymore and even though he was a continent away, we understood each other.
Owen learned to bake. We acquired a ton of kitchen gadgets I swore I’d never own. The Ninja oven was a great — albeit expensive — purchase. The Instant Pot is one of the puzzles of my adult life. Sometimes it works and other times — using the same settings — it fails. Other people have complained about the same thing in reviews on Amazon. When it works, it’s fantastic, but when it doesn’t, it leaves you puzzled. This is one of the items for which a proper manual would have been a big help.
I have learned more about birds than I thought there was to learn and realize that there’s so much more to learn. I’ll probably never learn enough, but having more to learn is a gift. How can you get bored when there’s a world of knowledge waiting for you?
Do you feel you ask enough questions or do you settle for what you know?
I am forever asking question and when I can, answering them. It goes with what I just said. There’s a whole world of knowledge “out there.” The ability to learn is a gift, perhaps the one thing we were given by the gods that is uniquely human. We should definitely use that gift a lot more. Humans are frequently not as much stupid as willfully ignorant. Intentional stupidity is a non-starter. Abandoning thinking because you don’t know how? That’s how we wound up where we are and why, unless something happen to wake up everyone, our goose is well and truly cooked.
When did you fail to speak up when you feel you should have?
I’m sure there was such a time, but honestly — since adulthood — I can’t remember. I think more often I’ve gotten in trouble for speaking up when no one else was willing. I’ve lost jobs that way. I have tried to become less aggressive about my approach. Now that I’m not working, it barely matters, though a lot of the techniques I’ve learned help me when I’m trying to get stuff done. Now, if ONLY it could get me vaccinated!
When was the last time you felt lucky?
When I got myself into surgery despite the objections of my doctor and her idiot cardiologist. If I had followed their advice, I’d be very dead. The cardiologist told me I should wait for “serious symptoms” and then get it fixed. It turns out with this kind of obstructive cardiomyopathy, the first serious symptom is cardiac death. Was he out to save the insurance company money or just too lazy to figure out what was going on?
What is a boulder?
A big rock.
Feel free to share your gratitude with everyone!
I’m glad my granddaughter loved my camera because I have always loved it. Owen makes amazing bread. The birds are getting fat in the middle of a snowy, very cold winter. Now, if ONLY we could come up with enough money to pay the mortgage in full. We’ve paid off as much as we could. Now, we hope for government money which would dig us out and help set us to rights after a long painful siege of serious poverty.