This past year has been non-stop worry and sometimes, outright fear for our country, the health of our planet, family, and friends. All the worry I hadn’t been doing for the past 12 years came roaring back from wherever it had been hiding.
I keep hoping life will get back to something like “normal” before this year is out. Mind you, I’m still not entirely clear on what “normal” should be. Not only was 2020 abnormal beyond belief, but the four years that preceded it were wacko too. In 2019, I was sure life couldn’t get any weirder than it already was, but I was deluded and possibly deranged. Because on my birthday in 2020, lockdown arrived and we’ve been crated ever since. I feel like a bad dog that’s being punished and like most dogs, I’m not sure what I did wrong. I sure hope they let us out of the crate because last year went on forever. I was so hoping that this one might flow more easily. Less stressfully. With a sense that we can breathe again.
Garry is half-way through his COVID vaccination and is lined up for part two in three weeks at the same place he got part one. In theory, I should be next, then my son. But given that our governor, Smiling Charlie Baker seems to have decided to do our vaccine rollout in slow motion, so I could be in this crate forever.
On a more positive note, If the government actually comes through with stimulus money, we’ll might emerge from this catastrophe at least even and up to date on the mortgage. Hitting the lottery would really help but it turns out, that’s not a realistic retirement plan. It’s very optimistic, but sadly, too many people have the same plan. What a pity.
Overall, I think we’ll be alright — at least as alright as people our age are, but wow, what an awful clump of years we’ve been through. What really pisses me off is that we are retired. This is supposed to be the time when we get to relax. Unwind. Chill out. We may not have much money, but when we stopped working, supposedly we left the stress behind. Who knew retirement could get so complicated and perilous?
The mess we are in didn’t start in 2015. It started hundreds, maybe thousands of years ago. We never got around to dealing any of the fundamental issues that have gone from being “back burner” (we’ll take care of it one of these days) to a raging inferno that’s threatening to consume our world. We’ve made a terrible mess of pretty much everything. A long progression of bad decisions worldwide have turned earth into a charnel house surrounded by a sewer. Small decisions, big decisions, international decisions. We are running out of time or for all I know, we’ve already run out of time. Can we get it right? Do we want to get it right? Making the world a better place will require sacrifice by a lot of people who are not big on sacrifice.
I hope our kids and grandkids have it in them to do what needs doing. Youngsters have wasted a lot of time blaming their parents and grandparents for the world’s problems while failing to understand that they are as much a part of the problem as every other generation has been. We all inherited the mess. What started a thousand years ago is unresolved. Each generation figures it’s someone else’s problem, but with time running out, the kids got a crappy deal. Sorry. We tried.
In the end, every generation is one more car on the long train traveling to who knows where. Personally, I hope there is no end of the line and the train rolls on forever.