This is the kind of question that I always want to answer with a joke. It’s so DEEP. Too deep for me.
- Never try to talk to a man watching a sporting event.
- No human can properly fold a fitted sheet.
- You will never fully clean your house.
- Trash expands to fill all available spaces.
- That funny sound in your car’s engine will disappear when you get to the garage.
- When in doubt, reboot. This includes actual life processes.
- No calling number that starts with a V followed by a long list of numbers is worth answering.
- Don’t use credit cards. They are the harbingers of death.
- Never report anything to your home insurance company other than a fire that burns your house to the ground or a tree crushes your roof. Those are the only things they might (maybe) pay for. Don’t even count on that.
- Never ever try to describe the most important lesson you’ve learned in life. You will always sound like a college sophomore taking Philosophy 101.
Where did I learn all this remarkable stuff? They didn’t teach it in college. College isn’t the place to learn useful stuff, at least not a non-technical school. The last useful class I was in was Junior High where I learned touch-typing. Otherwise, I learned it all from my girlfriends.
Not only are my girlfriends the wisest people on earth, but they can make me laugh even when I’m half-dead in the hospital.