JE NE REGRETTE RIEN

Fandango’s Provocative Question #122

I stand with Edith Piaf. I regret nothing except, perhaps, things I might have done, but didn’t.

I find myself with little to regret. I wish we’d put more money away, but I didn’t have anything to put away. I tended to live life by the skin of my teeth. Garry could have done better but while he wishes he had more money now, he doesn’t regret the things he did with his money. The traveling, the fashions, the cars, where he lived. The time he spent on the Vineyard. Together, we spend happy hours remembering the fun we had, separately and together.

I could regret at least one marriage, but even for that, there were good times and it was part of life in Jerusalem. I don’t regret those nine and a half years in Israel, not for a minute. I wish I’d spent more time in the Old City before it became impossible and I wish I’d spent more time in Svat (Safed). But there are only so many hours in a day and I worked.

I liked my work. High tech was emerging. It was brand new and was going to change the world. I used the first word processor. Before that, we worked on a mainframe and had to insert commands to tell the text to be italic or break a line. Or skip a line. It was fascinating stuff created by fascinating people.

I also learned system analysis and how to design a database — the first database which became the baseline for future databases. Later, I had to unlearn everything because databases were pointer-based. They still are, though I think most of them use lists and pointers.

I certainly don’t regret marrying Garry, though it would have been nice if he’d asked me to marry him before I bought the condo in Lynn — but that condo became home to my son and his family, so it didn’t go to waste, even if it did use up all my money.

I regret having been sick so much, but I didn’t have any control over that, so it’s a moot point.

So I guess there’s nothing to regret. Things that I wish had happened some other way were mostly things over which I had no control. I miss friends who died and wish I could just talk to them again.

Otherwise? Life has been fun, complicated, difficult, crazy, scary and frankly, getting weirder every day. I’m still here. Kicking, screaming, ranting, and worrying.

I think we call all this stuff LIFE.



Categories: #FPQ, Fandango's One Word Challenge, Music, Personal, Photography, Provocative Questions, Relationships

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19 replies

  1. It is so wonderful to listen to this song in its entirety instead of that little snippet we get on the car insurance commercial.

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  2. Wonderful write, and the song, too!

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  3. What we have is what we have, and the hustle to see what we can achieve with what we’ve got, is the meaning of life. My one fear, all of a sudden, is that I still have things I want to do and I’m afraid I won’t have enough time left to do them. So I’m on a path to do the best I can, and when my time is up, I will still have done quite a bit. And like you say, I have no regrets.

    But there are 2 regrets.
    1. That I never really told my Dad how much I loved and respected him.
    2. That I had no children of my own to pass stuff on to… siiiigghh!…

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  4. I do have some regrets, some things I would have done differently or different choices I might have made. But there’s nothing I can do about those things, those choices, because I can’t change the past. All I can do is move forward and hope that I’ve learned enough from those decisions that caused my regrets that I won’t make those same types of mistakes in the future.

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    • I like to think that I learned from my mistakes. I’m pretty sure if I haven’t gotten it by now, I’ll never get it. I spent a lot of my life worrying and feeling guilty about so many things until one day, I realized that all that worry and guilt was accomplishing nothing at all. NOW if only I could learn to relax!

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  5. Very good and thoughtful answer – and I like the song, and thanks to you, I now know the name of this song and its singer. I don’t speak French but I do understand the title of your post: I regret nothing. Very appropriate! What good is it to regret our life as we have lived it? Wouldn’t that have the potential of making us bitter? Sure, I have done things I shouldn’t have, and didn’t make the decisions I should have, but what I did seemed right at the time. So now I try to enjoy my life that I am lucky and grateful to live! You also seem to have lived an interesting and fulfilling life!

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    • I figure what’s done is done. There’s nothing to be gained — especially not at my age — by brooding over it. I’m not going to live forever, so I might as well enjoy the time we’ve still got remaining. So many old friends are already gone. Before I join them, I might as well get the most out of whatever time is left.

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  6. Life is what it is. And you’re enjoying life. So many don’t. And that’s sad.

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    • I don’t remember when exactly it was, but I do remember realized one day that being bitter and angry about the past is really stupid. You aren’t punishing the people with whom you are angry. You are only punishing yourself. That’s kind of what my little book was about.

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  7. YES, IT’S CALLED LIFE, AND WE LIVE IT THE BEST WE CAN WITH WHAT WE HAVE AT THE MOMENT. YOU HAVE HAD A MOST INTERESTING ONE WITH WONDERFUL YEARS OF ATTAINMENT.

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    • Garry and I often point out to each other that we had a lot of fun. it would be nice to not be quite so poor now, but we had a good time — together and separately. I didn’t expect my health to collapse so completely, but that makes me even more glad that I did stuff when i could and didn’t wait until “later,” because (it turns out), later was not available. It’s better to just do stuff. If you keep waiting for a rainy day, it might turn out to be a drought.

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  8. Wonderful post Marilyn

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