Carly Simon is in my head a lot these days singing, “You’re So Vain”. After decades of seeming perpetual youth in my career as a reporter, the portrait in my attic has become an illusion. It’s something with which most people who work in the public eye must come to grips as time goes by.
Juan Ponce De Leon was a Spanish explorer who came to the Americas in search of the fountain of eternal youth which he was sure was located on Bimini. Needless to say, he did not find it.
First, it was my hair turning salt and pepper, then predominantly gray. And, then, oh horror! A bald patch atop my head which has crept ever forward. Mother of mercy!!
As a TV news guy, I was on the air several times a day, five or six days a week. For 31 years. I remember walking into an electronics store and seeing myself on dozens of TV sets, surrounded by a throng of appreciative people. From an ego point of view, it just doesn’t get much better.
The hair crisis was paralleled by my body telling me I could no longer work such long hours, nor party with little sleep and questionable dietary habits.
Understand that I’ve been retired for 20 this October, but I’ve been very slow to accept the guy I see in the pictures on our wall no longer exists. Last week, I visited my two younger brothers at our family home. Our mission? Prepare the 60-year-old house for sale. Huge cleanup. My body cried for relief the first day. My brothers were sympathetic. I was grateful but my ego took a hit.

The drive home from West Hempstead to Uxbridge was out of “The Twilight Zone”. Bumper to bumper from start to finish. More than five hours! I used to relish such trips, regardless of traffic. It was fun in those convertible days, top down, letting memories blur the idiotic, incompetent motorists around me.
My convertible days are history along, with my tolerance for long hours on the road.
Credence Clearwater Revival rode shotgun the final hour of the drive, keeping me alert as I finger tapped the steering wheel. “Midnight Special” played a half-dozen times, right into our driveway as I arrived home and allowed myself a long sigh. I slowly — very slowly — extracted myself from the car. I tried to stretch.
Oh, the dismay. The fear and trembling. Where the hell was Ponce De Leon when I needed him? Probably still in his eternal search for that elusive fountain of youth …
Categories: Garry Armstrong, Getting old, Humor, Music, Personal, Retirement
Surprising how much more upset I am about losing some of my hair than suffering other more physically painful signs of age. Always loved that Carly Simon song.
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I have lost a lot of hair too. Even women’s hair can thin a lot. Hats are important!
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I met Ponce once – in a bar in Vancouver.
I asked him what was it like? – eternal youth and all.
But he just kept mumbling: “los mosquitoes … los mosquitoes …”
Maybe eternal youth isn’t all it’s cracked up to be???
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That probably depends on the mosquitoes. We have WAY too many of them this year. All this rain. The mosquitoes love all those wet places and I look like three meals a day!
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We have NO rain. Just endless heat. Fires all over the NW. We’ve finally relented and bought an Air Conditioner – realizing this isn’t going to stop.
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Climate change. It’s real and it’s now. But hey, let’s just ignore it because we’ll all be dead before it gets REALLY bad.
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Yeah. I’m feeling it. To be honest.
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Too funny, Garry. Just for you…
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I’ve always been a Rod Stewart fan. His “You are my heart” was Garry and my “falling in love” song. I think maybe it still is.
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Good choices, Mrs. A.
Gracias, Mi Amor.
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Lois, THANK YOU!
I’m humming “Once Upon A Time”.
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You guys are so romantic! 💘
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Great post Garry, it resonates with this woman of a certain age. But what’s the alternative? The Picture of Dorian Gray isn’t so appealing. And frankly I wouldn’t want to be 29 again. Now if we all could age like Georgia O’Keefe. On her, those wrinkles were a sign of beauty and nor age. Thanks for this thought-provoking post. Best, Babsje
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Garry doesn’t want to BE young again. He wants to FEEL young again. And get his hair back. I promised him if we win the lottery, I’ll buy him new hair.
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Babsje, thanks for the kind words.
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You’re welcome. Please update when you find Ponce.de Leon!
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I KNOW ONLY TOO WELL. MY FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH DRIED UP YEARS AGO.
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I was surprised only because it all seemed to happen at once. I looked the same for years and years and then, suddenly, poof! I got old. I thought I was going to look the same permanently. Nope. Guess not!
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O, no, Patricia! You are forever young in these eyes!
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THANK YOU. THAT MAKES MY DAY.
WHAT ALWAYS GIVES ME PAUSE TO REFLECT IS WHEN I REALIZE THAT SOME THE STUDENTS IN MY ENGLISH CLASSES WHO WERE 17 THEN ARE NEAR 60 YEARS OLD NOW.
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Excellent. Know that feeling only too well!
But mind you, you are still very ‘presentable’…. to us readers anyway.
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I helps when you can get rid of some of the ugly lines using Photoshop which still has the best “fixer upper” function, though I do have some filters that are “regular, senior, and very senior” repair filters. They can make everyone look better! Garry always asks me if we could just to that REALLY rather than just in a photograph 😀
Not yet, but you never know!
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ha ha
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Aw, Kiki, thanks so much!
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