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I was outside yesterday cleaning the deck, making sure the birds had enough food to make it through dinner when I noticed the leaves on the aspen trees are turning bright yellow. They are always the first to change color. The rest of the foliage take a couple more weeks, but those early yellow leaves are a sure sign that fall, while not here yet, is on the way.

I can, from my front window, wee the speckling of bright yellow mixed with the deep green. Before I had a chance to enjoy summer, it’s gone. The world is spinning faster than I am!

You’ve got questions? I’ve got answers!

When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

Absolutely. I was such a chatterbox when I was younger. Now, not so much. Maybe I just used up all my words too soon and now, I’ve run out of them.

What does the world need less of?

Money. Greed. Stupidity. Brutish people who enjoy murder. Ineffectual leadership. But don’t worry. I think we are going to get rid of ourselves and that will solve OH so many problems!

Do you feel older or younger than your age?

Older. Right now? A LOT older.

What is a cause you’ll always passionately support?

The right of people to THINK for themselves. Which is not the same thing as the right to say any damn fool nonsense that falls into their brains. It’s a losing battle and one for which I’m losing the will to fight.

I’m tired. I look around me at what are left of my contemporaries. A few of them are still fighting, but most have given up. I don’t blame them. Here you are, in your 70s or 80s. You think you might like want a bit of relaxation. Peace. Have some fun and laugh about nothing important. Just enjoy that moment.

Instead, you find yourself up to your chin in the IDENTICAL aggravation you suffered through when you were 50 or more years younger.

Didn’t we do that already? Didn’t we win that one? Didn’t we pass laws? What happened to the laws we fought so hard for? How many times does one need to fight the same battles? Is there ever an actual WIN?

I don’t know about everyone else, but I’m weary. I’ve had a lifetime of this nonsense. I’ve fought for all the right things — and here we are. Again. Same issues, nothing settled, and obviously nothing is going to BE settled. We passed laws that are now being un-passed or simply ignored. If the law isn’t the law, then all of this effort is truly for nothing. What’s the point?

It’s depressing.


The fibromyalgia went away. Gone. No idea what made it happen or why it left. I’m just glad it’s gone.

Categories: Anecdote

11 replies

  1. Awe marilyn, so sorry your so weary, fighting ongoing battles is very taxing on the body and mind. Glad the fibro has left for now! X




  3. You’re so right about what we don’t need.


  4. Thanks Marilyn for Sharing Your World and your amazing photography! Those leaves are beautiful and you might be looking forward to the glory that New England provides its residents in the Autumn. I agree with you whole-heartedly on how you’re feeling emotionally. It is discouraging and sad that nothing changes, no matter how hard we fight to right a wrong. But there is a blanket effect of stupidity (at least in America) right now, so you’re perfectly justified in feeling like it’s a losing battle to try to insert some intelligence into the mix. For one though, I’m glad you DO keep trying. You reach the few out here in the trees that are seeking intelligence too. We’re a small band, but I think mighty. If the dimwits ‘win’ this round, well we’re wise enough to know that everything keeps going along the same paths, so next time it might be our turn to win. Slim chance I know. Enjoy your glorious environment! For me that would heal the severely chapped wounds the world opens up. You have a huge variety of critters to keep you amused, not the least of which is Mr. Duke. One precious thing that you have that you might not appreciate as much as I would is the silence of untouched ‘wilderness’ and green space. It’s going, going, gone here. 😦 No mechanical noise, no pollution from too many machines and vehicles cramming into one small space, no sounds of humanity to sour the soul. What bliss that must be!

    If you are tired, rest. You’ve more than earned a rest, but I hope it’s a peaceful one. And congratulations on the cessation of that horrid fibromyalgia. Here’s hoping it went and is gone for good. Have a peaceful week!


  5. Wish you a better healthier days ahead


  6. I’m glad you are feeling better.


  7. 100% agreement from me 🙂


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