Fandango’s Provocative Question #135: Abortion again

There is absolutely no way I can even talk about this as if it doesn’t personally concern me, even though I’m at least 30 years past my time for worrying about pregnancy.

I still remember years when women’s jobs were listed separately in the newspaper. Women could be any kind of typist. Men could be everything else. When reliable contraception was impossible because a lot of it hadn’t been invented. We fought a lonely battle to retain control over our bodies.

We won that battle. I was sure we won, didn’t we? I mean, after all, there are LAWS about this, aren’t there? Didn’t Roe V. Wade put an end to getting abortions in a back room?


I remember illegal (because there were no LEGAL) abortions performed with chlorine bleach, coat hangers, and turkey basters. When sepsis or perforation of your uterus was not an unusual price to end a pregnancy. As likely as not, these ended in death for the fetus and mom. When young women, unable to obtain an abortion threw themselves off bridges rather than have an unwanted baby, or tried to abort themselves, with terminal results for mother and child.

Despite conservative brainwashing, having an abortion was and is not a sign of maternal irresponsibility or being anti-life. It’s making a choice to have a good life when the alternative is bleak. This frenzy has been going on for my entire life. I’m 74 and women have been fighting this battle since before I was born.


Women have abortions for all kinds of reasons, including a desire to be something other than a mother. Maybe a mother, but more. Physical health. The welfare of living children. The basic need to survive. A career that leaves no time to properly care for a child. Seeking a career that makes it possible to bear and raise children in a life that is not one of squalor.

Meanwhile, the same moronic men who won’t get a vaccination are doing their utmost to stop a woman’s access to abortion. The worst part of the “pro-life” movement is that these same people care nothing about what kind of life this not-yet-can survive. Squalor is fine, abortion or birth control isn’t.

The laws they are passing are not pro-life, but they are absolutely ANTI-WOMAN.

Getting women back to their position of subjugation so old white men can own the world. They already control most of its assets, so let’s finally get those pesky women back where they belong.

It has always been about that.

Many women my age went through an abortion. Were we happy about it? No, but we weighed our options, then did what we felt was best. For us.

The most significant gains in personal freedom woman managed to win are deeply at risk. If we do not stand together and vote united, we will lose it all.

I never imagined this battle would need to be fought and re-fought. I remember my friends looking for someone to perform an abortion, terrified of the consequences, but even more terrified of what their lives would become should they be required to go full term with pregnancy.

I am many years past child-bearing. This is about women. Whether or not we are equal to men — and if we have the right to decide what happens or is done to our bodies.

If there is a right to life involved, how about the right of women to have a good life and bear the number of children we want from none to many?

No one ever WANTS an abortion, but sometimes, you need one.

No woman should be forced to bear children. This is a position I have held since I was very young and before I’d ever had sex. I will go out of this world still believing it.

If you have never had a uterus, as a person who will never carry or bear a child — or even be held responsible for those you had a part in creating, what right have you to speak on this?

I had an abortion. It wasn’t a “real” abortion because it was too early to even be sure there was a fetus. I had a husband in the hospital with cancer, a very young child, the early buds of a possible career, and issues in the marriage that would later end with divorce. There was no way we could survive a new baby, emotionally or financially.

I am horrified by these people and their cruelty. Disgusted, revolted and sickened. I do not care who knows it.

Categories: #FPQ, Health, Legal Matters, Mother and motherhood, Provocative Questions, women, Word Prompt

Tags: , , , , ,

28 replies

  1. Everything you said was right on.


  2. I can hardly believe that we need to have this discussion once more. I’m deeply disgusted at how MEN handle those issues which are of NO CONCERN to them as it is the women who must be able to decide. It’s not a matter of If I am pro or con abortions; it’s all and only about Can That Woman Bear to be with a Child (for whatever reasons) or not….


    • It’s about the freedom to choose what is right for you. If you believe it’s wrong, that’s your decision. We are not all the same and we don’t all believe the same things. Nor should we have to believe the same things. Didn’t that get heavily discussed when Martin Luther (the original) was alive?

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Just one more thing, and we’ll wish you to make the right decisions for the most innocent: life. When a person does the wrong thing, in order to be “okay” with it, they must make all kinds of excuses. They must bring into their life those of similar thinking. The mind has an incredible ability to do that for we see this phenomenum through all ages. However, the more we protect, the more we have to make more intricate excuses because the reality will not go away: ever. I think that’s why many people drink, smoke, and do a host of other things. Some just become something they weren’t born as, like the the movie Pinnochio.


  4. A baby, once alive, is not a choice. That happens at conception.


    • If all life is sacred, why are so many of you so in favor of war? Or is your love of life specifically aimed at women and their bodies? A few collected cells are NOT a baby. No lungs. No blood. No brain. No knowledge. A baby is a living creature. A collection of a few cells is not.


  5. Have to be careful of the “language” or poor use of logic. While people don’t like other’s telling them what to do, a baby is precious and should always be protected. In life, we have rights, but they don’t supercede the right to life of babies. I understand the circumstances regarding rape and pedaphiles, and those people should be strung up by their thumbs, beaten, then killed. Horrible. However, babies are the shining light. They are people. They deserve the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. They deserve our protections. And if people can look at children as choices, they’ve already lessened, in their minds, their own lives. Sad.


    • So how about giving support to those babies and their mothers with something other than political opinions? How about giving actual support — food, medical care, education, day care, decent places to live — to mothers who haven’t the means to manage on their own?

      These days, a lot of people look at their OWN lives and aren’t sure if they should remain alive. When misery becomes inclusive, helping people live decently might be a thought worth considering. I’m very weary of “religious” people telling me that unformed clusters of cells have more rights that I do, that every woman has to bear as many children as they are forced to bear without support, help, or any kind of backup. Without day care. Without decent education.

      You don’t actually care about life. You care about giving birth. After that, the kid can just starve for lack of food, medical care and anything else that can make a life worth living.

      If ever I had an inclination to be religious, those who are supposedly religious would have long since convinced me that there is nothing in religion that is there to help those in need.

      Maybe it’s time to look at real live people as having rights. See if maybe we can do better. I don’t think we can do much worse.


  6. I’ve had an abortion too – my ex was a gambler and a rotten father to the two children we already had. I couldn’t bring another child into that situation and I couldn’t legally shoot him. Like you I’m old enough to have known girls who died after back alley abortions and the daughters of wealthy “Prolife” politicians who went overseas for safe ones. All in the hush-hush of course. It’s infuriating to be fighting this battle again!


    • I remember it too. I remember the few doctors who worked in secret, occasionally getting caught because even though abortion isn’t usually life threatening, any kind of even minor surgery can go bad.

      These days, I have to wonder why humanity is worth saving, or at least our version of it. Every time I need a medication I can’t afford, I remember how often I’ve heard that this is the richest society on earth. We are also the stingiest. We have the same morality as Victorian England — and it’s nothing to be proud of.

      Americans should be ashamed of themselves.


  7. Bravo! Well said Marilyn


  8. I totally agree with everything you wrote. And I’m an old, white male!


  9. It was so sad to read the farewell note for sue vincent on your blog page. My heartfelt condolences. I used to follow her blog and admire her so much. May her soul rest in peace.


  10. I can feel for you and everything you have said here makes so much sense to the world. In India the situation is similar with governments shown lack of will to improve the laws and judiciary system which doesn’t allow women to weigh their options. Great message.


    • The worst thing about all of this is that even when the law passes, nothing is resolved. Apparently it doesn’t matter what laws you pass or how many people agree with it. When the laws can’t stand on their own, do we HAVE laws?

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Hugs Marilyn! I agree with you in everything you’ve said here. Its tragic that men still insist on women having abortions, tragic. Xx


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