It was obvious that Garry and I, after all these years together, were going to come to a violent end unless we got a bigger blanket.
We already had a king-size comforter on a queen size bed which was fine until The Duke decided to sleep with us. I tried keeping him out by closing the door, but he kept ramming the door with his chest until it popped open. The doors in this house aren’t strong, so we clearly had to find a better solution.
The solution was obvious. Let the Duke sleep in our bed. And that is how our sweet and noble canine came to share our bed. Also, that’s when our troubles began.
It’s remarkable how much bed one 42-pound dog needs. Garry and I are not big people and neither of us is tall. But with the Duke anchoring the middle of the bed, every little move I made somehow because a missing piece on Garry’s side. Every motion he made stole a piece of my blanket.
When I came in at night, Garry had already gone to bed to watch old movies. In my absence, the Duke stretched out happily on my side of the bed. Head on my pillow. At full extension, he seems to need a lot of bed and covers.
I asked him to move over. He would (I swear it’s true), sigh deeply and move his front end in Garry’s direction. His rear end and legs were still on MY side of the bed.
“You are going to have to move,” I told him. Another deep sigh combined with a look so dirty I felt I needed an immediate shower. Eventually, I would give him a push and with another sigh, another dirty look, he would inch over until he connected with Garry’s legs. This left Garry pinned to the edge of his side of the bed and if he moved more than a little, he’d fall right off. Not to worry because the Duke would inch his way until neither one of us could move. Pushing Duke off the bed was possible, but the Duke didn’t like it. As far as he was concerned, it was his bed and we were in his way.
Garry was sure it was all my fault and I was sure it was his fault. We went from humor, pointed humor, to full rancor. It became obvious we needed a bigger blanket since we were unable to eject the dog and a queen-sized bed is not big enough for two adults and a medium-large dog.
I ordered a new comforter from Amazon in a size that you aren’t going to find in a local shop — were we blessed with someplace that sells bedding, which we aren’t.
It’s called the “Palatial King” and it is 120 by 98 inches and it is the second to the largest comforter they sell. The one that’s even bigger is the Super King Plus and it’s 120 X 120 inches which would be important if either of us were tall, but we are both short. We needed width, not height.
Here’s the description:
Hombys 120×98 Oversized King Feather and Down Comforter, Grey Pinch Pleat Thick California Cal King Duvet Insert with 100% Cotton Cover, Extra Large Fluffy Palatial King Comforter for All Season
With tax it cost about $130 and (scream of internal agony) the cover was almost another $90 — but it included two king-sized covers for pillows ($10 less without the pillow covers).
The price went up by $30 since I bought it last Tuesday. I think I bought it on one of Amazon’s “sudden deals.” Anyway, it ate all our money which was not previously committed to an existing bill.
I realized I also needed a cover. Because, you know, the Duke sleeps on it. He’s well, you know. a dog. He’s not a particularly dirty dog except for the looks he gives me, but still, his hair is every where. At least a cover would make it theoretically possible to remove the cover for washing. I say theoretically because, having found what I think may have been the ONLY cover of that size on Amazon or anywhere else, I had to get this comforter inside that cover and it’s going to have to be really really dirty to get us to take the comforter out for any reason. .
I delayed two full days before decided it was time to put the cover on. I said (I didn’t believe it, but it was a good excuse) the comforter needed to to fluff itself up. Yesterday, I knew if I didn’t put the cover on the comforter right then and there, I might never get to it.
I need a digression here about this comforter:
First, it’s down and feathers, not just down. Down is very light. Feathers are not. This comforter is a big. Bigger than the room I used to call my office. Bigger than the amount of floor available in our kitchen or living room or any room in the house. I had already noticed when I got into bed, I couldn’t move my feet.
The functional size is the full height of the bed and stretches from floor to floor on either side with at least one extra inch extra. The process of removing this huge comforter so I can get out of bed is a process. No mere flipping off the covers. I have to haul it up, foot by foot. It’s got a percale cotton cover which isn’t lightweight either and the cover added another double layer of 800 count percale. Heavy, heavier, and oh dear God, I can’t move.
It is listed as “all year” but I don’t think so. There is no summertime in this comforter. Not piece of fluff.
I had to enlist Garry’s help to put the cover on the comforter. I can usually do these myself, but this was so big, I couldn’t even fling myself across the bed to grab it because I’m only 61 inches tall and the comforter is twice my height. Twice.
Without going into full graphic details, it took Garry and I close to an hour to finally get that comforter in that cover. Finding the little tie thingies. We found five, lost three others. At one point, we were ready to give up.
Garry said, “I don’t think we can do this.”
I said, “What choice do we have?”
Remarkably, we managed to get it in place, shake it out, and declare it as “ready.” Yesterday, I put on a bright cotton coverlet from India on it and it looked so pretty, I took pictures. But I couldn’t get into bed with even that little coverlet. It was one double layer of cotton over the line.
So, at first I couldn’t move because the Duke kept us locked to the bed’s edges, but now I can’t more at all.
So did I solve a problem or create a whole new one?
Categories: #Photography, Anecdote, dogs, House and home, Humor
I wish I could grin at this story, but the very minute I read about your purchase I thought OH NO, SHE CAN’T DO THAT! Well now you know it too….
not your brightest moment – but then, what are we not doing for our beloved pets…. even to the point of getting trapped in our own goodwill!
Liked the quilt, it looks Indian work from Jaipur, you get identical ones in Gujrat, Jaipur belt where textile, embroidery and tie and dye work are main industries. Duke is very accommodating I must say ):
We had one rule when we had dogs, not on the bed! This was necessary, as we had three large furry friends and we would have had to sleep on the floor. Our bed was our sacred space and we didn’t let the kids share it either…
When we had several dogs, they all slept in a pile in the living room, but THIS dog is so glued to Garry, where Garry goes, the Duke is quite literally stuck to his heels. We’d have to put up a steel door to keep him out of the bedroom — obviously not on our agenda and who needs a steel door on their bedroom? This is the first dog we’ve ever had sleeping on the bed and I wish he wouldn’t, but keeping him off it has become a major issue. I’m too old to fight with a dog for bed space. I sure wish he’d decide to sleep in the living room or ANYWHERE else.
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Dogs have their OWN minds and the Duke has made up HIS.
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That quilt is gorgeous! Did someone you know make it? Once when I was in college, a friend was visiting and since I only had one bed in my apt., we were both sleeping in my double bed. My German Shepherd jumped into bed in the middle and in the middle of the night, turned sideways and extended her legs straight out in front of her and pushed us both out of bed!
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I fell out of bed once. Ironically, nothing pushed me. I was just sleeping too close to the edge and I just rolled off. OUCH! Garry fell once in the middle of the night — probably because the Duke pushed him so close to the edge, he tried to turn and didn’t make it. He was asleep when he fell, asleep when he got back in, and didn’t remember it by morning — or he was in denial. We’d both prefer the Duke sleep where he sleeps all day long — on the living room sofa which is covered to protect it.
Sixty-five pounds is definitely too much dog for me and Garry doesn’t like dog walking anymore. He used to, but he’s getting very close to eighty and feeling a bit wobbly. I love big dogs, but they are too strong for me. I topple easily.
I bought that quilt — it’s really a “topper” because it has no filling — was handmade. I bought it at an art fair. It’s very fragile, so it winds up stored more than used. Great for taking pictures, but those hand-stitches catch on everything. Too bad because I really LOVE it. I actually have another one by the same artist that is also being stored. All that hand stitching is beautiful, but fragile. I knew that when I bought it but I loved it. I thought the dog would do it in, but it turns out, EVERYTHING damages it including my fingers.
I have one incredible quilt that was made especially for us by a quiltmaker who wanted one of our lamps. We traded a $1500 lamp for it. Then a friend gave me another of her quilts that she’d traded or bought for $1,000. I decided I am just going to use them. One is always on my bed and the other I use for a throw on the couch. What would I be saving them for? Use it while you can enjoy it. I have spoken! (No, I would never spend that much for a qullt, but since she wanted to trade and Bob was fine with it, why not? The lamp was huge–and hard to transport to shows. J
He has two beds. He keeps his toys in one and ignores the other.
IT SOUNDS AS IF YOU NEED A SEPARATE COT FOR DUKE.
He has a nice bed in the living room where he stores his toys, but he likes to sleep on the sofa or in his crate. Bed? There a dog bed in our bedroom and I’m sure he wonders why Garry and I don’t sleep in it. The ONLY time he doesn’t sleep in the bed is when it’s warm. He doesn’t like heat, so he sleeps on the floor where it is cooler.