I have a thing that occasionally happens to me which is sort of like a seizure but isn’t. It happens once in a while — like every year — but it remains a medical mystery. I do know how to deal with it which is to hit the ground and stay there until the world stops spinning. If I do this, two things won’t happen. I won’t faint and I won’t walk into a wall or door. It doesn’t happen often, but it can be alarming.
After I arose from the floor — and after asking me if I was okay — Garry decided I was okay because I said so. He went to the bedroom to watch an old movie or two. Then I had another little flip. It was late. I was tired. After things stopped spinning, I turned the television off and toddled off to the bedroom
Garry: “Are you okay?”
Me: “My brain is weird.”
Garry: “What? I don’t have my hearing aids on.”
I look at him for a while, so finally, he gets out of bed and puts on a hearing aid. I tell him I just had another spin. I think I need to go to sleep. It was a long day. He asks me if he can do anything for me. He wants to help, so I let him.
Me: “Could you get me a coke?”
Garry, relieved I’ve finally given him a task, gets ready to go to the kitchen. While he’s at it, he realizes I’ve got today’s clothing on the floor near the bed, so he asks me if I want it washed, Sunday being laundry day.
Me: “Sure. Great idea. Thanks for offering.”
Garry: “Is there anything in your pockets?”
Me: “No pockets.”
Garry: Looks at pants and says: “Oh, you don’t have any pockets.”
We have had many versions of this conversation, about why women’s pants don’t have pockets. Really, it is supposed to make your hips look smoother, but men’s have pockets and frankly, we all need pockets. Pockets are useful. How else can you carry a treat for your dog?
Me: “Yes. There’s nothing in my pockets.”
Garry: “What? You’re talking very softly. I’m only wearing one aid. The cochlear isn’t in.”
I couldn’t stop laughing. My hearing isn’t what it used to be either — and Duke was making loud doggy yawning noises. I think our conversation was keeping him awake. I couldn’t stop laughing. It was a classic old people conversation. Maybe you had to be there.