OLD CAN BE FUNNY

I have a thing that occasionally happens to me which is sort of like a seizure but isn’t. It happens once in a while — like every year — but it remains a medical mystery. I do know how to deal with it which is to hit the ground and stay there until the world stops spinning. If I do this, two things won’t happen. I won’t faint and I won’t walk into a wall or door. It doesn’t happen often, but it can be alarming.

After I arose from the floor — and after asking me if I was okay — Garry decided I was okay because I said so. He went to the bedroom to watch an old movie or two. Then I had another little flip. It was late. I was tired. After things stopped spinning, I turned the television off and toddled off to the bedroom

Garry: “Are you okay?”

Me: “My brain is weird.”

Garry: “What? I don’t have my hearing aids on.”

I look at him for a while, so finally, he gets out of bed and puts on a hearing aid. I tell him I just had another spin. I think I need to go to sleep. It was a long day. He asks  me if he can do anything for me. He wants to help, so I let him.

Me: “Could you get me a coke?”

Garry, relieved I’ve finally given him a task, gets ready to go to the kitchen. While he’s at it, he realizes I’ve got today’s clothing on the floor near the bed, so he asks me if I want it washed, Sunday being laundry day.

Me: “Sure. Great idea. Thanks for offering.”

Garry: “Is there anything in your pockets?”

Me: “No pockets.”

Garry: Looks at pants and says: “Oh, you don’t have any pockets.”

We have had many versions of this conversation, about why women’s pants don’t have pockets. Really, it is supposed to make your hips look smoother, but men’s have pockets and frankly, we all need pockets. Pockets are useful. How else can you carry a treat for your dog?

Me: “Yes. There’s nothing in my pockets.”

Garry: “What? You’re talking very softly. I’m only wearing one aid. The cochlear isn’t in.”

Me: “What?”

I couldn’t stop laughing. My hearing isn’t what it used to be either — and Duke was making loud doggy yawning noises. I think our conversation was keeping him awake. I couldn’t stop laughing. It was a classic old people conversation. Maybe you had to be there.



Categories: Cochlear implant, Garry Armstrong, Hearing, Humor

Tags: , , , , ,

33 replies

  1. We’re there… I recently got hearing aids and sometimes (whether their in or out) they drive us both crazy!

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    • It takes a while to get used to them. I don’t hear as well as I used to, but I can’t afford aids, so everyone just has to yell at me. Garry’s used to make strange bonging noises. Now they don’t, but in the beginning, he heard all kinds of weird noises.

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  2. An interesting and puzzling thing, was also thinking of Menière…. I’m worried about what happened to my brain now after my 2nd shot of C-vacc. The physical damages are on their way out after 4 days but I feel that my head is diminuished. I can’t say words or names on the tip of my tongue. I think a number but write another…. THAT’s very worrying and I do hope it will pass (soon).
    A now dead friend of mine did have Menière’s fever and she had to lie down immediately to the floor (same as you). It happened to her frequently and often IN shops. She became notorious for lying on the shop floor. Later on she had Alzheimers too and a wonderful soul has found her eternal rest maybe 2-3yrs later.
    I’m glad that you two can laugh about these misfortune in the life as an elderly couple. Laughter makes everything easier to bear. I laugh a lot and about many things, HH hasn’t (sadly) got that gift. But I decided that I (read that I in bold) would continue to see the ridiculous, funny, unchangeable just for myself and that’s OK.

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  3. At last you had a laugh and that’s a good thing about conversations. Even I have got my trousers and punjabi salwars with pockets otherwise it was difficult at times to keep few essentials. All my tops and kurtis already have right side pocket.

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    • Our designer either are European or follow their lead. That clothing has little real use to anyone who function in the real world and doesn’t merely go to parties and “events.” Lucky for us, most women can fit into men’s jeans and khakis. Otherwise, we’d NEVER have a pocket in anything. It’s really annoying, but all things considered, I suppose we could call it a minor nuisance.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. so much to unpack here, but with all of that going on, i am happy you can both still laugh. i totally get that conversation

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    • Life has been busy yet somehow, uneventful. Hard to explain it, but we haven’t done much traveling or visiting because it was lockdown or pouring rain. This climate change that we are busily ignoring is going to make traveling difficult.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I have this horrible condition too, and like you, nothing helps. Years ago when it first started, it was just short incidents and soon passed. Now it very rarely goes away. They still talk about Menieres. but I’m not convinced… good idea about hitting the floor though…

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  6. I have often bought trousers, usually homewear because they have pockets. At home I need them more when moving around to take my phone with me or other bits and pieces. Although I use my walker but I have my handbag in in, my iPad and my Kindle – you never know what you might need.
    About your dizziness – could it be Menière? It comes from the inner ear where the balance centre is. I suffer from it, but as you say perhaps once or twice a year. If I turn my head my head seems to stay where it was, but the rest of my body doesn’t. It can happen when I turn in bed. There is always a danger of falling. I have to be careful not to stand up too quickly, especially when I leave the bed in the morning. I sit on the edge of the b bed for a few minutes until I have my balance.

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    • Garry gets similar symptoms and his definitely traces to his ears. It’s putting those hearing aids in the ear canal, so fluid builds up and affects that “gyroscope.” His happens more frequently. Mine shows up once in a while for not reason that I can see. It’s not my medication. They wanted to do a brain MRI, but they can’t because of the metal pacemaker, so there were some tests they couldn’t run. I will ask my primary about it and see what he thinks. It doesn’t happen very often. A few times a year, but it is one of the reasons I worry about driving. I CAN drive, but if this hit while I was driving, it would be very serious. So I only drive in little bits — a few blocks or just down the road.

      When this hits, I have to drop my head as low as I can and just wait for it to go away. It used to be just a minute of two, but nowadays, it takes longer and occasionally drags on for as much as half an hour. If I get up too soon, I lose consciousness — usually very briefly — like 15 seconds or even less — but it’s amazing how much damage you can do in such a short time.

      It’s the phone that needs a pocket the most. The phone, sometimes a spare battery or something with SD cards in it — or even a pad of paper and a pen. It’s just so annoying to NOT have pockets.

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  7. I have periodic bouts with vertigo. They call it benign paroxysmal positional vertigo (BPPV) and it’s triggered by certain changes in head position, such as tipping the head up. Most of the time I can control it by not putting my head in positions that might trigger it. But sometimes — rarely, fortunately — it seems to spontaneously happen and it literally knocks me off my feet. All I can do at that point is to get in bed, go to sleep, and hope that when I wake up, the dizziness will have stopped.

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    • This has turned out to be a lot more common than I thought it was. It must have something to do with aging, too because I’m pretty sure we didn’t talk about this when we were younger, though this has been happening to me occasionally since I was in my 40s. The day it happened while I was walking and apparently continued (unconsciously) to walk right into a door jamb. That landed me in the hospital getting stitched up. They ran every test they could think of and found nothing. Apparently vertigo can be really hard to track down because so many things — including nothing — can cause it. For Garry, it’s definitely a balance issue, but for me, it’s something else. What? I just am very wary of me and driving or other machinery. And on top of everything else, I’m a klutz.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I remember going to a doctor about my vertigo. The did a CT scan of my head, and then an MRI. They couldn’t find a cause. When I asked him what was causing my vertigo, he shrugged his shoulders and said, “Could be a million things.”

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        • That’s exactly what I heard. Now, I just won’t go to anyone about it because they will run me through any test they can and in the end, AGAIN they will tell me they have no idea. But if it happens again, get down on the floor because you can’t fall off the floor. It’s become my motto.

          Liked by 1 person

          • I checked out Meniere’s disease, but this isn’t that. I don’t know what it IS, but I know what it ISN’T. I actually will, if I’m not very careful, pass out. Very briefly — just seconds — but it’s scary as hell and it shows up for no reason anyone can determine. Having been through as many tests as they could think of, I’m ready to give up and deal with it symptomatically. It has been happening for a LONG time — very intermittently. At least it isn’t a daily or even monthly problem. It comes up a few times in a year, sometimes much worse than others, but never seems to have an initiating reason. Nothing HAPPENS except suddenly, I’m very dizzy and the room starts to spin. And you are right. Eventually I give up and crawl into bed. It has never lasted until morning. So far.

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  8. Actually I have been there! Serious stuff but sometimes you just have to laugh.

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  9. Take care Marilyn, I’ve got the dizziness before and I have to see the doctor for medicine to cure for that disorder.❤

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  10. It’s funny that you mention about pants with pockets. When I was formally a cashier, I bought men’s pants because they were more durable and had deep pockets that I can put my tools in.

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  11. You should be more careful about these incidents. Take care my friend

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am very careful. I learned my lesson the hard way when one of these hit while I was walking and I lost consciousness for a few seconds and smashed my face into a door jamb. They had to stitch my face closed. That was when the doctor warned me that if it happened, get down on the floor. You can’t fall off the floor. I has been a good thing to know.

      Liked by 1 person

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