Fandango’s Provocative Question #153
This isn’t a question I can answer. It’s not that I haven’t had any life-changing tough decision, but because I’ve had so many. Which one was the hardest? I can’t say because all of the hard ones were — in that context — the hardest.
What has been the most difficult, hardest, or most painful decision you’ve ever had to make in your life?
I have had to choose whether to live or die. I lived — obviously.
I had to give up a marriage that was more like a friendship with benefits. That was tough.
I chose to leave the U.S. and live in Israel — and then had to give up the life I’d built there and come back. Double difficult and I still dream of Jerusalem — in Hebrew.
There were more choices, many too personal to discuss.
I don’t think most people make one decision which is the “life-changer.” Our lives are a series of decisions. Each choice, no matter how minute, takes us down a different path. Though a decision may seem tiny — just a slight shift — yet because of that slight shift, other things happen which would never have occurred without that little alteration in the path.
PETS
Losing pets, as Fandango says, is heartbreaking, though it was never the hardest decision I’ve made. By that time the decision was final, we had already agonized over every other possible solution. All other choices had been deemed unlikely, unworkable, or apt to cause more rather than less misery. We both still tear up over all the dogs and cats who have passed through our lives.
Pets die before us. I worry about their future passing when they are still young because I’ve been down this road and I see the future. I understand having pets will be joyful and loving, but the end will come. I will hate that end, but I will deal with it. It’s that or living without pets and I think that would be worse. I always hope we’ve made their relatively short lives as good as we were able.
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Categories: #FPQ, #gallery, #Photography, Anecdote, Cats, dogs, Fandango's One Word Challenge, Personal, Pets, Provocative Questions, Scottish Terrier
TOUGH DECISIONS 
SERENDIPITY - SEEKING INTELLIGENT LIFE ON EARTH 
Hi Marilyn, you are right that most people face adversity in life and we all have a series of decisions to make on an on-going basis. People often ask me if I’d change any thing in my life and, although I’ve have plenty of pain, I would not because to change one thing could change everything.
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That’s exactly how I look at it. There’s no point in looking backward. We can’t go there and shouldn’t even WANT to go there. We are always in the now and will be forever. What happened, happened. It can’t be undone or changed. We all need to look ahead, not behind.
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Looking at the picture gallery of our pets makes me want to cry. Easily, the most painful – but most obvious decisions — that time when we must say goodbye to our pets. I’ve never been good at that. I didn’t cry at the funerals for my Parents although I was consumed with grief. No tears.
I bawled uncontrollably when we said farewell to our beloved Norwich Terrier, Divot. We extended her life – even though she clearly was in decline – to salve OUR emotions not Divot’s. A bitter lesson for me to absorb. Now, I try not to project the future with Duke, our current furry child. I just don’t want to go there.
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Exactly.
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I agree that there are too many difficult decisions that we have to make. Losing a pet is very hard.
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The thing that’s the most important to remember is that our most difficult decisions are not necessarily the decisions that change our lives the most. Often, it’s little things. Small changes made without a much thought. We tend to ignore all those little changes and look for the big ones. I agree. Losing pets is painful, but not life-changing. Sad, but many things in the past few years have been very, very sad.
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Very true Marilyn. Most of the biggest and saddest things are those which happen to us, and we have no say in them.
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And these past few years have made us ALL realize how little control we have over our lives. That, by itself, is sad.
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I think the idea of having control over our lives has always been an illusion!
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Too many decisions, bad and good. Despite all, my best friends have remained the silver lining in my life.
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I rarely regret decisions I made, but I frequently regret things I decided to not do — and wonder if life would have been better had I taken that option when it was available. Best friends ARE our silver lining!
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Here’s where I am, and there’s no changing that. I’m train myself to ignoramus’s the “what Ifs” as I’ll never know what my life would have been like. So I am grateful for the “what is(s),” and move on.
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Danged Autocorrect!!
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Ben, thanks for that reminder. Too often, I forget.
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You’ve had some beautiful pets. And yes I agree. I think we make tough decisions day in day out year in year it. Some obviously more for than others. Still if it’s heart wrenching it’s difficult.
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I think the issue was “most” difficult, or “hardest.” I’m not sure there was one thing that was hardest. Many things were hard and some things felt impossible. Yet decision were made because there was no choice. You choose to live or die — there’s no “in between” option. You choose to take the job offer — or not. Again, there’s no “middle of the road” choice. Most choices we make are driven by necessity. If there’s no necessity, it’s likely we won’t make a choice and just move on — and yet look back and wonder if maybe we SHOULD have made that choice. We’ll never know. I think mostly I regret what I chose NOT to do than things I did. The decision not made can be very troubling.
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