I was Jewish when I married Garry in a Lutheran Church. I was fine with that. Garry was fine and both ministers — we had two — were also fine with it. Oddly enough, my entire family was happy that I was happy. They didn’t care about the difference in religions or race.

I believe that everyone has the right to live the life they want to live, to have or not have children, marry anyone who is willing, and to dissolve that relationship if that’s what the couple decides.

Goodness is goodness, whether or not you have any kind of religious affiliation.

Faith is a choice, but decency is a requirement.

You don’t need a church to know the difference between right and wrong. Some of the worst people I’ve known were ardent church goers and some of the best were skeptics or atheists. Who put right-wing Christians in charge of family matters in this country?

Marriage is a contract between adults. It should not require benefit of clergy. Any clergy. Unless you live in a theocracy which we don’t (yet), you don’t need to believe in anything but your partner. I’m baffled as to how God and religion are suddenly the arbitrators of what constitutes a family.

If we start defining the meaning of marriage as sacred and existing entirely for the creation of children, what about people who don’t want children or can’t have them? Are they the next group who won’t be allowed to marry? How about people past the age of baby making. Will they be forbidden to marry? For too many years in a lot of states, people of different races were forbidden to marry. That was supposedly also God’s decree. I never heard God say anything about this, not in any version of the Christian Gospels or in the Jewish Torah or any other religious text I’ve read — and there have been many.

I’m astounded at how sure positive some religious groups are about what God — theirs, mine, or yours — wants. If it was so obvious what God wants, what was the point of all those theological arguments, interpretations, and everything else for the past few thousand years? What was that about?

Gay, straight, or not entirely clear on the issue, marry if you want. Or don’t. Maybe you’ll be one of those couples who has a perfect relationship. Maybe you’ll wind up in a bitter divorce. However it works out, it’s your choice. I would never demand you live your life my way. What way is my way? If I’m not entirely sure, I’m pretty sure no one else knows.

Enjoy this life. Maybe you’ll get another shot at it, but I’m not holding my breath. This is the life I’ve got and as long as I’ve got it, I plan to live it as fully as I am able. Let’s live in this moment, this reality. Let us give everyone else in this world the right to do the same.

Categories: Ethics and Philosophy, Family, Marriage, Politics, Religion

Tags: Marilyn Armstrong, marriage, marriage rites, religion