Ten were just not enough.

Thirteen Commandments for Seniors

#1 – Talk to yourself. There are times you need expert advice.

#2 – “In Style” are the clothes that still fit.

#3 – You don’t need anger management. You need people to stop pissing you off. 

#4 – Your people skills are just fine. It’s your tolerance for idiots that needs work.

#5 – The biggest lie you tell yourself is: “I don’t need to write that down. I’ll remember it.”

#6 – “On time” is when you get there.

#7 – Even duct tape can’t fix stupid, but it sure does muffle the sound.

#8 – It would be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller.

#9 – Lately, you’ve noticed people your age are so much older than you.

#10 – Growing old should have taken longer.

#11 – Aging has slowed you down, but it hasn’t shut you up.

#12 – You still haven’t learned to act your age and hope you never will.

And the most important one is:

#13 – “One for the road” means peeing before you leave the house.

Categories: Humor, senior citizens

Tags: ,

33 replies

  1. 1, 3 6 and 8 for me, but 13 comes as standard as Mum always insisted we went before going out! Great post Marilyn.


    • It reminds me so much of being a kid and my mother telling us we had to go before we left and telling her “but I don’t have to go” and her telling “do it anyway.” Now, I have to tell myself.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Love these, especially numbers 3, 9 and 12 😆 Although I have to say #13 is pretty spot on too!


  3. Still giggling, Marilyn. I was sharing with my Dad how he’d appreciate you and Garry and then read this. I definitely know he’ll enjoy this, too!


    • Garry got this from an old high school friend and I figured everyone needs a laugh. I sure do.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, agree. I came off of a week battling Covid and am trying to reenter slowly. I’m so thankful I had my immunizations or it would have been even worse I think. It was bad enough for 3 solid days.


        • I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t survive COVID. My doctor is even surer. It’s all those replacement parts I have — heart valves and fake breast (the real ones tried to kill me), the pacemaker — they keep me alive, but they don’t respond well to illness, not even small things like colds. I’m having trouble breathing through spring pollen.

          Liked by 1 person

  4. Excellent points. I especially like #4 & #12.


  5. ha! love, love these!


  6. Ha Ha. I need to frame this and hang it. Preferably in the bathroom.


  7. All good commandments, especially #13! 😂


    • Hey, according to my Cornell bird book, what YOU need are Barn Owls. They are particularly fond of eating burrowing rodents One barn owl has been known to kill off more than 3000 burrowing critters in a single month. Any owl (and many hawks) will happily kill off any rodent, but the owls get the ones that come out at night. Where Owen works, they have a red-tailed hawk than kills mice and rats. He hangs out in a tree over the garage and waits. As soon as something moves, he’s on them.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I don’t think we have a lot of barn owls near where I live, and hawks are way outnumbered by turkey vultures, who, unlike hawks and owls, are more scavengers than hunters.


  8. So true — all of them!


  9. Excellent points. I’ll save this. Thanks 😛🤣😂


  10. Not a lie spoken…



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