A Friday Flashback on Saturday

One of the iconic scenes in the movie Star Wars, the first one. Episode 4. “A New Hope” is where Obi-Wan Kanobi is taking Luke Skywalker and his two droids R2D2 and C3PO into town and they are stopped by two Stormtroopers looking for those very two droids. Obi-Wan simply waves his hand and says “these are not the droids you are looking for. You can move along.” And  the Storm Trooper looks at him and says “these are not the droids we are looking for, you can move along.”

Obi-Wan then explains to Luke that it was a “Jedi Mind Trick.” But it only works on the weak and feeble minded. In other words, it only works on stupid people.

That means that the Jedi Mind Trick will work on Americans really well because this country has an absolutely amazing number of mind-numbingly stupid people. I bring this up because I read a result from a poll last week that said (and I am not making this up) that 56% of Americans believe that we should not teach or use Arabic numerals.

Let that sink in for a moment. 56% of the American public doesn’t know that 123456789 are Arabic numerals!!! That’s serious Storm  Trooper stupid.

Here’s some other “facts.”

• Only two out of five of us can identify the three branches of government;
• Less than half of us know which nation dropped the atomic bomb;
• Only one-third of us know that the Congress, not the President, declares war;
• Only 30% of us know that members of the House of Representatives serve two-year terms and only 25% of us know that Senators serve six-year terms;
• Most Americans continue to believe that the 9/11 terrorists came from poverty or were neglected as children despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary;
• A generation ago presidential speeches were pitched at the level of twelfth graders. Today they are pitched at the level of seventh graders;
• Even after the 9/11 Commission had stated publicly that Saddam Hussein had provided no support to Al Qaeda, a poll showed that half the population still insisted that he had;
• Only 25% of us can name more than one of the five freedoms guaranteed by the First Amendment but more than 50% of us can name two members of the Simpson family.

These revelations and many others come from Rick Shenkman, an Emmy Award-winning reporter and historian, in his new book entitled Just How Stupid Are We? Facing the Truth About the American Voter. The vaunted wisdom of the American people, Shenkman says, is a myth. When it comes to government and politics, we are ignoramuses: ill-informed, apathetic, and easily manipulated.”

Think about it. The Attorney General of the United States took Robert Mueller’s 400 plus page report that he didn’t even bother to read and just told the American public, “There’s nothing to see here, these aren’t the droids you are looking for. Move along.”

Almost half the country actually believes it! One Republican Congressman, ONE — actually read the report. And what did he do after he read it? He said that the President needs to be impeached! Because he broke the law!

“These are the Droids you are looking for! Arrest them!”

And then there’s Florida. America’s Dick. America’s big dumb dick. As any male knows, even if he won’t admit it, that when there is a competition between the “big brain” and the “little brain” the “little brain” always wins. For “Florida Man” (yes that’s a real thing, Google it) there is no competition.

Here’s a quick sample. All of the following are real and true:

“Florida Man attacked during selfie with a squirrel.

“Florida Man wearing tee-shirt that says ‘Who Needs Drugs? No seriously, I have drugs” is arrested for drug possession.”

“Florida Man charged with assault with a deadly weapon after throwing alligator through a Wendy’s Drive-in window.”

“Florida cop claims Burger King put dirt in his food – investigation reveals it was seasoning.”

“Thousands of gun owners in Florida planning to ‘shoot down’ Hurricane Irma.”

“Florida Man tries to rob a Game-Stop while wearing a transparent bag on his head.”

Finally, “Florida Man who tried to ‘run’ to Bermuda in inflatable bubble rescued by Coast Guard, AGAIN.”

And then there’s the number one, all-time greatest, bestest, bigly-brained Florida Man of them all.

We could really use Obi-Wan right about now.

Not the end.

Categories: Humor, Lies - lying - liars, political humor, Politics, stupidity, Tom Curley

Tags: humor, ignorance, Politics, stupidity, Tom Curley