MY BEST FRIEND CALLED

She doesn’t live far away, but we rarely see each other in person. Why? Because we are old. That’s why. Her husband has Parkinson’s. She’s got glaucoma. One kid has a heart problem while the other is in a wheelchair. She, like me, is on medication. It requires she eat on a fixed schedule. Her husband is on a similar medication schedule.

Neither one of us remembers to call the other or when we do, it’s inevitably in the middle of the night or at some weird hour in the morning. Since we are the same age, we forget what we were intending to do (call each other) within 30 seconds of the original thought.

So I said: “Hey, remember when we were smart?”

“Yeah,” she says. “My family used to refer to me as ‘the smart one.’ If they could see me now…”

“What happened?” I ask.

“We got old,” she says.

We didn’t do Facetime because it’s too much trouble and besides neither of us feels presentable. In person, it’s different, but on a little screen? The bags under your eyes are darker and deeper.

“Yes,” I repeat. “We got old.”

We met when we were in our early 20s and we have grown old together. We never imagined it would be like this but the reality is past a certain age, everyone has issues. I’m not sure what we expected, but I’m pretty sure this was not it.

On a more positive note, we are alive which is more than we can say for many other people with whom we were friends, back when we were smart and funny — and alive.

It’s good to have a few living friends and not just memories.



Categories: #Photography, Anecdote, Friendship, Getting old, Humor, Medical humor, medication

Tags: , , , , , ,

22 replies

  1. I only see a few of my old friends anymore. Unfortunately, it might be at wakes. We try to plan more outings, but it is difficult. I guess in many ways we are lucky to have made it this far and to have some friendships that have lasted more than half a century.

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  2. I’m glad your friend called. Meeting up may be difficult but we’re fortunate to have technology now to help us keep in touch at least. You’ve reminded me about a couple of people I should contact sooner rather than later!

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    • We keep planning to get in touch, but we tend to remember at times when calling would probably not be the best idea. This time, we managed to actually connect! Finally! There are a few more people I should call. I forget a lot of stuff and then only remember it when I’m done with all the things I’m supposed to do.

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  3. I understand about aging…never thought I’d have a morning pillbox and an evening one…
    Travel does become an issue if nothing else, someone compatible to go with, especially since I’m a widow.
    Lots of older people out and about where I am (Fla), but I think other states, except maybe Az. would have far less. And back in the 70s, the best of times, you’d never thought it would end.

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    • I knew I’d get older, but I never thought it become so hard to get around. This summer has been really bad because of the weather, but also because I’m in the process of changing medications. Each time I make a change, my body screams NO NO NO. It makes it hard to be comfortable away from home, but on the other hand, who knows how much longer we’ll be able to travel?

      Liked by 1 person

  4. it makes all the difference, old friends are so precious

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  5. Awesome… And true… I invite u all to grace my space with ur presence and feedback my poetry. @ http://www.homemakersthehiddenforce.wordpress.com

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  6. It’s always uplifting to catch up with friends

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  7. I was chatting online to my oldest friend yesterday. She lives in another state so we don’t meet often. We were talking about how travel is getting harder for her and her husband. He is over 70 and both have health issues she’s my age. They no longer drive long distances and walking long distances is getting too hard. They have a cruise coming up this summer but after that she says she will have to decide whether it’s worth getting their passports renewed.
    I also read recently that our last Census, last year, showed that for the first time Baby Boomers did not make up the largest age group in the country.
    For myself I have accepted that some of the places I wanted to see I never will but I think I still have a few trips left in me.

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    • We were still traveling at your age. It’s really in the past 5 years that suddenly, it got really difficult. And the thing is, no matter how hard to your work to maintain yourself, you never get younger. We lost a couple of friends who had no problems — other than being in their 70s. No heart problems, no history of anything else, but one day they just died. It makes you realize how important friends are and how much you miss them.

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  8. Hi Marilyn, my family just arrived home from a trip into the bush yesterday afternoon. While we were away, I really noticed that there are no elderly people over the age of about 70 at a maximum. It struck me, and I mean really struck me, that we won’t be able to do these trips forever more. Aging does change life a great deal.

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    • It does and it hits you a little at a time until one day, the idea of having to sleep in a different bed and deal with other people’s eating patterns (and foods) is difficult. Sometimes very difficult. But when you think you CAN do it, you figure you better while you are still able because no matter how good you are about maintaining your health, the end can come out of the blue — with NO warning. It has happened a few times in the past couple of years — and all of them were younger than us, in one case quite a bit younger.

      Life gets a bit strange as you age. I’m not sure we have any way of knowing what to expect, but whatever we get, it’s not what we saw in our mind’s eye.

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      • You are right, it is a bit of a shock for family members too when our parents age. My parents have changed a lot over the past 10 years and I wasn’t really prepared for it. My mom is really struggling to adjust to being more limited with what she can do. She still does things she shouldn’t and ends up in a lot of pain.

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        • It is a bit of a shock to them too. You think you know yourself. You are comfortable in your own skin and then, suddenly, you can’t do things you’ve always done. But the thing is, you don’t FEEL old, no matter what your body is screaming. It take a fair bit of adjusting.

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