THEY DON’T CALL US TURKEYS FOR NOTHING

A couple of day ago, we probably destroyed half of our new brakes and skinned our tires trying to not run over a “rafter” of turkey hens who had to cross the road exactly when there was traffic.

We don’t have much traffic. This isn’t a metropolis. We have ONE traffic light in town. Once, a few years ago, someone got the bright idea to put in parking meters. That lasted one day and then they were gone. A few people strongly objected. So that rafter of gobblers must have waited until there were a group of cars and then hit the asphalt. There were eight or nine big hens. At least they kept moving. Sometimes they stop in the middle of the road and try to charge your car.

Apparently there have been uprisings of turkeys all over the state. From CBS Local News, they assure us that aggressive turkeys have taken over a Woburn neighborhood. I think they’re trying to move in on us here, too. Read the story here.

Turkeys don’t understand about looking both ways before charging across a road. The hysterical shouts and curses of motorists and the shrieking of brakes as we try to not mow them down does not penetrate their tiny skulls. When a wild turkey wants to get to the other side of the road, hen or tom, they just go for it.

Truly the turkey is the most American of all birds. This article from the Audubon Society pretty much says it all. It’s called “How Wild Turkeys Took over New England.”

I do not know if the wild turkeys in other parts of the U.S. are as aggressive, obstinate, and stupidly fearless as our local wild turkeys, but I suspect when Benjamin Franklin suggested we make the turkey our national bird? He was seeing the future. He understood Americans before we understood ourselves.

They do not call us turkeys for nothing.



Categories: #Birds, #WildCreatures, Anecdote, Humor

Tags: , , ,

21 replies

  1. I so wish we had some wild turkeys here, they look so interesting. The only bother crossing the road here, and that usually during the night, are hedgehogs and they are very slow moving.

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    • Back in the 1960s and 70s, we had no turkeys. They imported a few dozen of them from New York (the much bigger state next door) — and now there are millions of turkeys. They are aggressive and for reasons best known ONLY to turkeys, they want to dominate the world. They are as likely to attack you and your car as walk away. I’ve stood for as long as half an hour with other cars patiently waiting for turkeys to move on. They think they are winning the battle to control people. The do not realize that ONE tire would be more than enough.

      I’m sure if you ask, someone will happily export a few dozen turkeys and soon enough, Switzerland would have millions of its own turkeys. If people don’t hunt them and there are no big predators — like wolves — to eat them, they take over. I’m sure they would add a certain North American charm to your roads as everyone stops and waits while the turkeys do their thing 🦃

      Liked by 1 person

  2. There is a run of teens on e-bikes in this area that tend to behave exactly like the turkeys you describe — major issues is that if one of the hits your car, you are automatically at fault because the laws haven’t yet caught up!

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    • We have that same silly law. We got hit by an out-of-control rented e-biker. He didn’t know where the brakes were and slammed into us. Fortunately, Garry was still “a star” then, so we got away clean, but yes. They are indeed turkeys, just without feathers.

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  3. I guess this begs the proverbial question, “Why did the turkey cross the road?” I have never seen any of them here. We have to contend with a gaggle of Canada geese on the road from time to time.

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    • Geese also think they are the dominant creature. We used to have them at one of the business parks where I worked. They would march in line, big birds and half-grown birds along the sidewalks just DARING you to walk on. It also made for some pretty messy footing. The animal control people eventually moves them all onto nearby waterways, but there’s definitely a similarity — but geese are MUCH smarter. Not less aggressive, though.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Great post about stubborn idiots. Sorry about your brakes!

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    • The turkeys are a pain in the butt, but no one wants to actually HIT them. Aside from not wanting to kill anything, it makes a godawful mess of your front grill! All those guts and feathers. Owen hit one the other day. It ran right in front of him and there was no way to stop in time.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Benjamin Franklyn, did a lot for the common man, the film, the Amstad, steven spielberg is a great work, it displays a lot to like about the man, anthony hopkins played the lead. He got the turkey bit right, but it was their festive colors. As for woburn, my mother won the largets amatuer golf competition on that golf course, cheers, hope the health is strong, regards and blessings, amen, if you need a prayer, just ask, amen

    Liked by 1 person

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