Owen said his bones were telling him that the weather is going to “do something.” I have been feeling the same way and had gone back on medication yesterday. After being very quiet and not bad at all, my back locked up solid — and I thought “Uh oh … ” That this house is pretty chilly probably doesn’t help, but I know I’m old because my son is old enough to know the future weather by which part of him hurts.

It has become obvious to me that people with arthritis are better predictors of weather than the weather equipment they are using to predict the weather. Our bones tell us — something is going to happen. They tell us days ahead of time, too. My spine knows when the barometer is going up or down or the humidity is rising or falling.

We could become a network. Instead of some PhD meteorologist telling you the weather, the local old and arthritic people in any given area can sit there in their recliners and tell you what their bones are telling them. Better yet, these older folks can tell you stories about the weather, clement and inclement from days of yore — and better yet, the stories don’t even have to be true. Television is, after all, entertainment, right?

Let’s face it. With inflation eating into our non-rising incomes, making a few extra bucks predicting weather by explaining which part of us hurts or aches — or doesn’t hurt or ache — would be a real bonus and it would give us something new and exciting to do.

We could even make it a 24-hour-day service. I don’t know who thinks old people get up early and go to bed before dark, but that’s not at all how it actually works. We stay up until we feel like going to sleep and get up when we feel like getting up — or have an appointment or a “date” to do something. This is probably one of the singular benefits of retirement that we can get up when we feel like it and sleep when we are ready and no one scolds us.

I’ll be accepting applications from anyone. With a little luck, we can have a new streaming service before the snow flies.

Categories: #Health, #Photography, #Weather, Anecdote, Arthritis, Getting old, Humor, Retirement, Television

Tags: #Photography, #Weather, humor, Marilyn Armstrong