As much as we reveal in our blogging, we also intentionally conceal a lot. I’m sure it’s not just me. I prefer to not expose the rusting underbody of our lives to the world at large.

Marilyn and Garry by Bette Stevens
Marilyn and Garry by Bette Stevens

I do not blog about every tiff I have with my husband or anyone else. I don’t go into the sordid details of every passing virus, sniffle, or stomach ache. Or the gory details of our lack-of-financial life.

Why not? Because it’s no one’s business and it’s not interesting. Whining is boring and that includes my own whining.

I know people who are in constant crisis mode and post all of it on Facebook. They present themselves as the most unlucky people on earth because everything always happens to them. A pipe breaks? “OMG we’re doomed!” Flu strikes? “Why am I afflicted by the gods? Why is the universe punishing me?” A lost cell phone? “The sky is falling, the sky is falling.”

The other day, it struck me that we (and probably you) have as many of these bumps in your road of life as anyone else. Maybe more. We just don’t document each and every one … unless they make a good story. It’s always worth the virtual ink if I can make someone laugh.

Part of the pleasure of blogging is we get to present ourselves and our lives in a positive way. Unless you blog for sympathy and some people do. In our virtual world, we can be our best, most entertaining selves. If this presentation conceals our pain and misery and gives others a skewed idea of us? Who says “full disclosure” is what blogging is about?

Marilyn by Garry

Writing about all the grimy and grim details of day-to-day life is like posting ugly selfies. Why in the world would anyone want to do that? I’d rather make you laugh. I’d rather make me laugh. Maybe, sometimes, I can make a point or two worth thinking about.

Categories: #Blogging, #Photography, Humor, Life, Personal

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18 replies

  1. For some reason some people feel they need to post every detail between FB and Twitter.
    Why Tweet that you are standing in line for coffee or other trivial matters.
    For my posts on running I often leave out the bathroom stops and how my gut was or wasn’t working. People would begin to think I had a problem, even though it’s common for runners to look for some woods with leaves on the trees. lol
    One of the many complaints about social media is that we only present our best selves. But I guess that is like life. When people ask how are you doing, how often do you complain about your latest ailment?
    But so many people are always comparing their lives to what they see on line. And since they mostly see roses and sunshine and tight fit bodies, they feel their own lives are lacking.
    What they don’t seem to understand is that a little rains falls in everyone’s life. And if you suck in your gut when you take a selfie you can look pretty fit too! lol

    Liked by 1 person

    • I remember when, maybe five or six years ago, girdles came back. With a new, modern name but wrap your body in spandex to slim it down — it’s definitely a girdle. Is there anything “honest” about a girdle?

      I like to think I have information that may help some people who don’t have that information. I’m a good researcher. When anything happens, I look it up. Then I look up the things I looked up to make sure they are accurate. I’m less of a know-it-all and more of an “I WANT to know it all, so tell me everything.”

      I doubt there are any lives that run smoothly all the time. What varies is how much you talk about it. One has to beware of getting sucked into discussing ones personal and social ailments constantly. I don’t because it gets so boring. If I find myself boring, how boring am I to the rest of the world?


      • You had me laughing about “if I find self boring…” So true. If I have nothing to say I try not to bore anyone with the nothing I have to add to the conversation.

        I was thinking more about all of the young people on social media and the problems it causes them. I think us older folks are a bit more immune to the constant comparisons and we know what is real. Not all adults are immune.
        These kids follow influencers and stars who all have people to make them look pretty. And of course they are all young rich and pretty.
        I couldn’t imagine being 16 or 17 and comparing my body to what you see on FB and I guess TikTok.
        I think the phrase, “kids these days” takes on a new meaning.


        • I think they do themselves a very serious disservice, but hey, I AM old so why should they believe me? When I was their age, I couldn’t imagine being old. Just goes to show you that by the time you get wise, no one is listening.


  2. For me blogging is meant to be fun but, leaving out the occasional rant, blogging about negative things is not fun and just makes me think about them more so I don’t want to do it.


    • My biggest objection to it is that people reinforce the negativity without realizing that it’s just one opinion. There’s someone right now who is going through an ugly humiliating divorce who is using his blog as his “weapon.” His wife might well be as awful as he says she is, but I’m sure he’s got an oar in the water too and probably has to take at least some responsibility for what’s going on.

      Illness can become tedious, but divorces? Oy vay!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I have probably been spending too much taking about my fractured hip lately.


  4. Love the photos of you and Garry! I, too, aim to make people chuckle, giggle, and downright laugh out loud whenever possible – unless I can laugh at my own misfortunes and make people laugh with me, I don’t care to air certain “fabrics” of my dirty laundry online either.


    • We have so few pictures of the two of us together. This is after 32 years of marriage and a whole lot of time together before we got married. I was always the one with the camera. Now, Garry takes pictures of me and we have a of pictures of each of us taking the other’s picture. Not as good as being in ONE picture, but probably funnier.

      I do to laugh — even about really awful stuff because moaning and weeping really IS boring!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Hi Marilyn, I have noticed this complaining thing, especially about health, more on Facebook than on WP. I often only say anything about something that has happened in my life when the worst is over and I can say “Whew! We got through that okay.” Mainly I blog about books and writing and other fun things.


    • I have two reasons for writing about medical stuff. The first and most important is education. So many people think they know what’s going on because “they read it on the internet.” That is dangerous. Others figure whatever is bothering them is just the same thing they had “before,” but as often as not, it isn’t. But even if it is, since you can connect with the GP via telephone or computer, it’s easy to get an opinion. The other reason is because I’m going in for some kind of surgery and will be out of touch for a while. Fortunately this hasn’t happened in a few years and if it never happens again, I’m fine with that.

      I think information is important. I don’t like mentioning that I don’t feel well because everyone leaps on the wagon and tells me to feel better — which I appreciate, but a head cold is not a world-shaking event and there’s no need for everyone to act like it’s an emergency. Usually, it’s just because I’m taking some time off, but I am always sorry I said anything.

      I do write about interesting medical stuff. Like that endless bout with anemia when I thought it was EVERYTHING else, but never suspected the real culprit and only the doctor who decided it was time for some serious blood and the answers were there. I would NEVER have guessed. So if it’s interesting or unusual, it’s worth talking about because if you don’t know to look and don’t have a smart doctor who is willing to keep looking until he/she finds an answer, getting a tipe can be useful. Or at least I hope it’s useful.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I get what you’re saying here Marilyn. My aim in blogging is to generate positivity too.


    • I hope that someone will gain some knowledge from the stuff I’ve experienced. But I try not to harp on it endlessly. Not everyone is able or willing to change the way they think, so I leave breadcrumbs and hope someone gets the message.

      Is that positivity? I guess, sort of. Depending on how you look at it.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I do think that is positivity. I’m often surprised when a post written with certain topic is picked up by people long after it was posted and commented upon. I guess the hashtags matter.


  7. I don’t like to mention my woes unless I can make them amusing and/or tie them into a larger writing. I can’t bear the one-line Facebook “updates” about how someone stubbed their toe. WHO CARES?!?

    Liked by 2 people

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