I wear eyeglasses. I have worn them since sixth grade, at which time I was about 10 or 11 years old. I have tried contact lenses, but my eyes do not like them. The ridge across the bridge of my nose where my glasses fit is as much a feature of my face as my eyebrows. More, since my eyebrows are changing, getting grayer and bushier, while the eyeglasses are much the same as those I have worn since college.


About half the time, I take my glasses off if someone is taking my picture. The rest of the time, I forget to remove them because, as I said, they are part of my face.

Thing is, I have learned from DC Comics, that my eyeglasses are actually a disguise. When I am wearing them, no one recognizes me. Even my own husband doesn’t recognize me without eyeglasses. I have asked him many times and he has always confirmed this. It is perhaps one of the strong alternate truths we employ around the house.

When I don’t wear eyeglasses, I have super powers. That’s the deal.

Glasses? Regular person.

No glasses? Super powers.

Except I can’t see without my eyeglasses, so whatever powers my eyeglass-free self has at her command, I can’t do much with them because … I can’t see. Imagine, briefly, Wonder Woman trying to save the day, only to realize that she can’t tell what’s going on because she can’t see anything without spectacles. But — if she puts them on to figure it out, not only does she blow her cover, but she loses her powers. A cruel joke?


I have written several letters of complaint to The League of Heroes, but they have not answered me. Perhaps I should ask to speak to a supervisor?