REMORSE, REGRET, AND WISHFUL THINKING – Marilyn Armstrong

FOWC with Fandango — Remorse

I think the remorse I felt has — with the years — slid into wondering what would have happened if I had done the other thing rather than whatever I did. Remorse, like anger and rage, is self-destructive. It doesn’t solve a problem. From a personal point of view, it makes it worse. It makes you worse.

You can regret and move on. You can wish you could do it again … and still move on. But remorse? You need either a priest to give you absolution or an actual encounter to let you make amends. There’s no “thinking your way back.” So for many of us now, where we felt remorse, it has been replaced by wishful thinking and perhaps regrets.

Remorse is meaningless when there’s nothing to be done, especially if it is something that is highly unlikely to ever be repeated. If you cannot solve the problem, you can’t fix it. Remorse — like obsession and rage — has no useful place when the original issue has gone forever.

When the object of remorse has vanished to another world, it’s time to move on unless depression and rage are your “thing.”

WHO’S SORRY NOW?

Top 10 Songs of Regret, Rich Paschall, Sunday Night Blog

OK, you have really messed up this time and you do not know how to say you are sorry.  After all, “I’m sorry” does not always work, especially if you have used it too much.  You may have thought of every clever way to apologize but it just is not working.  Even when you added in flowers and/or candy you are not getting the message across.  Our advice to you is to add music.

You have probably heard the saying that “music soothes the savage beast (or mate),” so there is no harm in giving it a try.  There are plenty of apology songs and if you are into Country and Western music, the possibilities may seem endless.  The C&W world has a lot to apologize for apparently.  There is a word of caution in our dishonorable mention, however.  Sometimes nothing works well with someone like Madonna.  She has “heard it all before.”

Here are my top choices to make up for your transgressions.  If you have been really bad, I suggest you bookmark this page so you can come back as often as necessary.  If one of these artists does not work for you, perhaps another will.  After all that you have been through, something ought to work.  And just as if I was planning it all along, that comment will help us to start our list off:
10. Hard To Say I’m Sorry, Chicago.  The Peter Cetera and David Foster composition was a 1984 hit for the band which oddly enough only had two band members playing on the record.  Foster elected to use studio musicians when recording the song.  Cetera and Foster may never had said they were sorry, but the band ultimately decided to return to horn driven rock and roll. The song made it to number 1.

9.  Purple Rain, Prince.  You may not have thought of this 1984 hit as a song of regret, but listen again closely to the verses before you start shouting your way through the chorus while someone does bad karaoke.  That karaoke person will be looking for an apology song soon, by the way.  Purple Rain won an academy award for original song for the movie of the same name.

8.  Sorry For The Stupid Things, Babyface. Kenneth Brian Edmonds, aka Babyface ( a nickname that stuck with him), had a big R&B hit with this 2003 release.  “Sometimes I do stupid things to you, When I really don’t mean it all,” he exclaims in his lyric.  His reason might not work for everyone, however. “Sometimes a man, Is gon’ be a man, It’s not an excuse, It’s just how it is.”  So, maybe you better move on to the next one.

7.  I’m Sorry, Brenda Lee.  Fifteen year old Brenda Lee was probably never sorry she recorded this number one hit in 1960.  There must be a lot to be sorry for in teenage love.  The song caught on quickly, despite the record label’s reluctance to release it.

6. Don’t Love You No More (I’m Sorry), Craig David. You might explain all night that you are sorry just to learn she “Don’t love you know more.” This 2008 song was a pop hit.

5.  Baby Come Back, Player.  “Any kinda fool could see” this was a number one hit for this band in 1977 and a great “apology” song.

4.  We Are Young, fun.  They may be trying to apologize in this 2012 hit, but they are young and might not have it quite right.  Still, they can set the world on fire (perhaps).

3.  Apologize, One Republic.  Sometimes it’s just too late to Apologize as explained by song writer Ryan Tedder along with David Archuleta in the popular performance from American Idol.

2.  Sorry, Justin Bieber.  I’m sorry to say that Justin has made another one of my lists, and I am sorry I could not use the silly “official” video.  Here Justin wants to know “Is it too late now to say sorry?”  I am sorry that he might be lip syncing this “live” performance of the catchy hit.

1. Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word, Elton John.  “It’s a sad, sad, situation and getting more and more absurd.”  That’s because “Sorry” seems to be the hardest word in the Elton John, Bernie Taupin hit from 1976.

Songs of Regret playlist  Play all ten here.