So there I was. Thinking. Not quite awake. Not exactly asleep. You know. And it hit me. Fixing all this craziness is simple. The question is WWCKD? Or, to put simply, “WHAT WOULD CAPTAIN KIRK DO?” If you look at the problem like that, the answer is simple. Obvious.
Travel back in time to a point where you can change the present from happening. As any Star Trek fan knows, Kirk did it all the time.
Now that I had the solution, the question became a matter of coördinates. To when and where do I go back to fix this? And the answer came to me as if in a dream …
Go back to 1998. Convince President Clinton to stay the hell away from Monica Lewinsky. There would be no scandal, no impeachment. Bill could campaign for Al Gore — like he was supposed to — and George Bush would never get elected. Everything that happened after that would not happen!
Brilliant!
So as I was drifting off to sleep, I imagined finding a time machine. Going back to 1998. Actually getting an audience with Bill Clinton … in the Oval Office.
How do I do this? Who knows? I’ll let the writers will work out those plot points later. I’m more into the “Big Picture Stuff.” But … this is also where the whole idea fell apart because the conversation would go like this:
President Clinton: “Well for some reason the writers haven’t figured out yet, I believe you are a time traveler from the future with important information for me.”
Me: “Yes Mr. President. You must not have an affair with your intern, Monica Lewinsky.”
President Clinton: “Whoa! How’d you know about that?”
Me: “I’m from the future, remember?”
President Clinton: “Oh yeah right. I guess that makes sense. So, why shouldn’t I do that?”
Me: “Because you will get caught. The public is going to find out about it. The Republicans are going to impeach you because of it.”
President Clinton: “Well, that’s not good.”
Me: “Don’t worry. You don’t get convicted. Your approval ratings go up to over 70%.”
President Clinton: “Well that’s good, right?”
Me: “Not really. Because when Al Gore runs for president, he won’t let you campaign for him. Or let you anywhere near him.”
President Clinton: “Really. Hmm. Who’s he running against?”
Me: “George W. Bush.”
President Clinton: “You gotta be kidding me!”
Me: “Nope. And even though Al runs a terrible campaign, he will only lose the election by 500 votes. Well, actually years later, when a full recount is done, it turns out Al actually won. But in 2000, the Supreme Court steps in and stops the recount. And appoints Bush as President.”
President Clinton: “I don’t think the Supreme Court can do that.”
Me: “Neither did anybody else. Until they did it. So George W. Bush becomes the president. One of the first things he does is ignore all the intelligence agencies warnings that Osama Bin Ladin is going to attack the US.
Because of this al-Qaeda hijacks four 747’s out of Logan in Boston — and La Guardia in New York … using nothing but box cutters as weapons. They crash two planes into the World Trade Center and one into the Pentagon.
The Twin Towers are destroyed, thousands of people die. Now, even though all the hijackers are from Saudi Arabia — and Bin Laden is hiding in Afghanistan — Bush invades Iraq. Totally destabilizing the Middle East.
Wall Street creates a bubble based on the housing market and that causes a world-wide financial crash in 2008 in which trillions of dollars are lost and millions of people around the world lose their jobs.
Therefore, in 2008 America elects a black guy — Barak Hussein Obama — as president, then in 2010 a bunch of billionaires help create something called the Tea Party. And the Republican Party swings so far to the right, Barry Goldwater would be considered a Communist.
By 2016, it seems likely your wife is going to be running for President against … wait for it …
Donald Trump.”
At this point, the Secret Service enters the Oval Office and drags me away. As I’m being carried out, I see The Truth.
Wow. When you actually say all that out loud? I don’t believe it either.
Then I fell asleep.
Categories: Humor, Sci Fi - Fantasy - Time Travel, Television, Tom Curley
Well, when you write about it this way, it DOES seem like a lot of Science Fiction.
But Captain Kirk. He’s real.
Right?
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Of course he is. I see him on TV all the time.
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Confirmation is a bitch.., but you can’t argue when stuff is on TV….
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If it’s on TV, it’s gotta be true, right?
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He’s lawyered up, Pancho. You gotta go thru Denny Crane before Kirk will talk to you. Denny Crane. Denny Crane.
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Not even George Orwell could create a future THAT Dystopian! Only proving the old adage that truth is indeed far stranger than Fiction, sadly.
You did not mention the part where G.W declared war on a noun. The War on ‘Terror’ has proven to be even less effective than the now 46 year old War On Drugs announced by that other ‘world class’ elected US president – Nixon!
And the human race has the pure gall to consider itself an intelligent species! There’s a few darn sneaky ones but generally we’re all too dumb to be allowed to own guns! (actually, own anything more dangerous than wet seaweed!)
There are actually enough of ‘us’ that if we REALLY wanted to (and actually believed we could) we could put a stop to all this crap. The trouble is it takes organisation and a Leader is needed and most of ‘us’ have enough trouble organising our own life let alone a world-changing mass revolutionary group and any leader who gets a taste of the power it needs to change the world (or even a country) invariably is corrupted by it.
Stop me if i’m getting any of this wrong…..?
love
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Hey, Bob — on another note. We just finished watching the “Dr. Blake Murder Mysteries” season 3. So really enjoyable!! I wish there were more shows!!
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Sorry for the delay Garry…. I just watched a new episode from the new series on Sunday night! 🙂 Blake has a lucky escape when he tracks down another criminal single handed and is confronted by him and gets stabbed in the chest!
You might have a few more shows to catch up on soon?
love
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I hear there are two more years, but they haven’t been released in this country yet. We live in hope.
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We’re up to series #5!
Try this link: http://iview.abc.net.au/programs/doctor-blake-mysteries/DR1531V005S00
You can watch some back issues for the current Aussie series. 🙂
love
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Good to know, Bob. We’re waiting for the new “Blakes”. We’ve watched 3 episodes of “ANZAC Girls”. Impressive and very well done. Marilyn and I have decided we should keep it to one episode an evening. The blood and body count need to be taken in measured doses.
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Nope. All correct. I forgot about the war on a noun. And it’s hard to get large groups of people to come and basically say
Be Reasonable!!!
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Used to be a time when some things just went without saying. These are not those times. 😦
love
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If only you could be granted that one trip…great post!
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Thanks.
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I keep waiting to wake up.
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Lean closer.., I’ll give you the proverbial SLAP!.., in a friendly way of course.
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I keep waiting for the GOP to wake up.
xx, mgh
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How much time do you have, cause it could take awhile?
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Well, maybe it would take LESS time to wait for them to drift off to sleep forever? I will probably be dead by then myself, however.
xx,
mgh
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I’m trying REALLY REALLY HARD to not think like that. I do not want Trumpomatic to be the last president of my lifetime. Argghh!!
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Excellent point! Nor do I.
xx, mgh
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Wouldn’t that be just horrible.., the last thing you remember? DANG!
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Ain’t gonna happen.
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It does seem so, but birds fly over the rainbow, right?
xx,
mgh
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Tommy, you never fail to be entertaining, but none of that stuff is true…, right!?
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Black president GET OUT! really?
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I keep waiting to wake up.
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Nope. Made it all up.
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PHEWW!
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If only…..
Leslie
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I wrote that so long ago. And it gets more current every day.
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I have things I wrote years ago that are MORE relevant today.
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And, THAT’s the scary thing, Pancho!
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Lol. Be careful what you wish for, no one will believe you anyway. I’m still not sure this is happening.
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A feeling MANY (if not most) of us share!
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