HORSE SENSE – BY TOM CURLEY

Marilyn and Garry wrote a blog a while back about watching one of their favorite movies, “Rustler’s Rhapsody.” It’s also one of my favorite movies. They introduced it to me.

I’ve seen it dozens of times and I  love introducing it to any friend who hasn’t seen it before.

It’s a very loving parody of all the great western movies of the 30’s and 40’s.  An ode to the singing cowboy. The closing music over the credits is one of my all time favorite songs, “The Last Of The Silver Screen Cowboys”. I swear to God I tear up a little every time I hear it.

I was one of those little kids with the Roy Rogers cowboy hats and a pair of six-shooters.

Every day when I was four or five, I’d strap on my six guns, put on my hat and go out in the backyard and do my “patrol.” You’d be amazed by the number of bad guys and rustlers I ran off my property. When I’d come back home (my back porch), my Grandpa would have already left me my “lunch.”

A single Necco Wafer. We ran a lean ranch.

I listened to the song again after I read the post and it got me to thinking.

There’s a great line in the song that says “Roy, and Trigger, we loved you. And Hoppy we saved all our dimes. Saturday afternoon double features. And we sat through each movie two times.”

I’m tearing up again. They acknowledged Trigger, but what about the other great horses? Silver, Scout, Buttermilk, Topper, Buckshot, Wildfire, and of course, Champion, the Wonder Horse.

Think about it. The horses were really the smartest ones in the movies. Silver was always pulling the Lone Ranger out of the river after he falls off a cliff and is unconscious. Scout is always getting Tonto out-of-town at the last minute after the townsfolk finished beating the shit out of him because the Lone Ranger sent him to town to get some “information.”

I’ve often wondered what they thought about their riders, seeing them doing the same stupid things over and over again.

TRIGGER: Silver, Scout, hey guys! What’s up?

SILVER: Same ole, same ole. Just pulled the Ranger out of the river again before the bad guys found him.  Fifth time I’ve had to do it this month.

TRIGGER: How’d he end up in the river this time?

SILVER: Same reason as always. Got his head grazed by a bullet, fell off a cliff, and knocked himself out. You’d think he’d learn.

SCOUT: Humans, very hard to train. Take my guy, Tonto. The Ranger is always sending him into town to get some “information.” And every time he does, the townsfolk beat the shit out of him, knock him out. I have to drag his ragged ass back to camp. You’d think by now he’d say “Fuck you Kemosabe, you go to town and get the shit beat out of you.” But no, not Tonto. A real type-B personality.

SILVER: What about your guy, Trigger? What does he do that annoys you?

TRIGGER: Not much really. I do get tired of having to rear up on my hind legs and whinny every time we leave to go somewhere. I mean, most of the time there’s nobody around to even see it. What’s the point?

SILVER: I hear that. My guy does that all the time. Drives me nuts.

SCOUT: Tonto tries to do that too. I just ignore him.

SILVER: So, Trigger, I got a question. I’ve always been curious. Is Roy, uh, how do I put it? Um, gay?

TRIGGER: What?! No!

SCOUT: Not that there’s anything wrong with that!

TRIGGER: Why would you think that?

SILVER: Well, I mean, come on. Look at how he dresses. He’s very stylish for a cowboy. And he’s into musical theater. He sings in every one of his movies. I’m just saying …

TRIGGER: What about your guy? He basically wears a unitard!

SILVER: Point taken.

SCOUT: Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

TRIGGER: And what about Dale Evans?

SILVER: Could just be his beard. Ever seen them kiss?

TRIGGER: Well, no, but…

SILVER: The only one I’ve ever seen him kiss is you.

TRIGGER: Hey! I’m a confident heterosexual horse!

SILVER: So that means’ you’ve done it with Buttermilk?

SCOUT: Oh, I would so tap that filly. She’s hot. Get em up, Scout!

TRIGGER: Uh, well, not yet but ….

SILVER: Look, it’s all cool. There’s something else I’ve always wondered about. Why is it that all the people in the towns ride horses — except Pat Brady, who drives a broken-down World War II jeep?  What the hell is that all about? What year is it, anyway?

SCOUT: And why do you make Bullet run alongside the jeep? I mean, we’re built to run 30 to 40 miles an hour. He’s just a German Shepard! Why not let him ride in the jeep?

Hey Roy, I can run fast, but give me a break!

I guess these are questions that will never get answered.

And for the record, I am not suggesting that Roy Rogers was gay. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that!)

I was just horsing around.

PACE OR TROT? – Marilyn Armstrong

FOWC with Fandango — Pace

It looks the same to you, but it isn’t.

Here’s the scoop:


The pace is a lateral two-beat gait. In the pace, the two legs on the same side of the horse move forward together, unlike the trot, where the two legs diagonally opposite from each other move forward together.

In both the pace and the trot, two feet are always off the ground.


Got that?

Watch the legs!

If you aren’t a racing enthusiast — specifically of sulky racing — or just a casual horse rider, this isn’t going to really matter much. But if you are a trainer for trotting horses, pacers and trotters are not allowed on the same course. And if you are planning on an equestrian career, how the horse leads at a trot (or pace) matters and you have to know how to get your horse to shift leads.

I could sometimes do it instinctively but never learned to do it intentionally. I wasn’t that good.

Two pacers

I used to ride, but to be fair, I never really cared much about which feet were doing what. If I were jumping or in competition, I would have cared, but for the purposes of most riders, this is not all that critical.

Or maybe it is and I just never got technical enough about the movement of horses to know the difference?

Bet you thought this was going to be about pacing the floor or something, didn’t you. Hah!

Gotcha!

WHAT’S THAT SOUND? – Marilyn Armstrong

Borborygmus: a rumbling or gurgling noise made by the movement of fluid and gas in the intestines.

bor·bo·ryg·mus \ ˌbȯr-bə-ˈrig-məs \


RDP #65: BORBORYGMUS


Grumble. Glurg. Pow. Blub.

Does anyone remember the scene at the beginning of “The African Queen” with Humphrey Bogart really hungry, sitting at the table with Katherine Hepburn getting delicate sandwiches and tea while his stomach belched and roared and gurgled? Who knew there was a word for that.

This is what I love about English. We have a word for absolutely everything … except a few from other languages for which we do not have words. Like “davka” which means “Doesn’t it just figure … ” and actually was originally German, but slipped into Hebrew.

Or “meerpesset” — actually a Dutch word — which means the kind of outside porch on a kitchen which is enclosed on three sides with one side open, often used to store things (and frequently enclosed to make a very bright closet … or, if there’s another building or pole, a good place to hang the laundry in the summertime.

But mostly, English has a lot of words and a lot of tenses and a lot of ways to say the same thing with a slightly different feeling, depending on which word you use.

We used to have grammatical rules and things like “punctuation,” but we have abandoned grammar. Eliminated adverbs and tenses, especially complex past tenses. I mourn the loss, but since so much of the language has been reduced to emojis and abbreviations which are known only to those under age 20, I suppose I should be happy we have words.

I’m sure I’ll find some use for borborygmus. I will certainly try very hard to find one!

MAD LIBS – Marilyn Armstrong

I remember when we used to buy these in paper books and sometimes, the results were absolutely hilarious. These are rather simpler, but hopefully also funny.

Here we are on Day 2 of the Mad Lib Daily Prompt.   Thanks to Ms. Haunted (Teresa) of The Haunted Wordsmith for hosting these!  I love ’em.

https://thehauntedwordsmith.wordpress.com/2018/08/02/blogging-mad-libs-2/

Name
Adjective
Verb x 6
Time span
Nouns (plural) x 4
Form of Transportation
Types of Animals x 3
Occupation
Snack food
Body part
Location
Pronoun
Noun


Name – Delores
Adjective – annoyed
Verb x 6 – wait, lurk, chatter, yell, complain, whine, yammer
Time span – one hour
Nouns (plural) x 4 – telephones, customer services, stupidity, headaches
Verb – yammered
Form of Transportation – feet
Verb – stumbling
Types of Animals x 3 – Scottie, Scottie, mutt
Occupation – holding while being told my business is important
Snack food – coffee
Body part -left ear
Location – the loveseat
Pronoun – that
Noun – pointless.


Original Story:

Name was so adjective to see the circus, it was the only thing she could verb about for the whole time span. She read stories of nouns that verb on the high wire, nouns that drove around in miniature forms of transportation, elephants that verb, and wild animals that jumped through nouns. The night of the show arrived and Name dressed up like an occupation with a huge smile painted on her face. Her family found their seats and after eating some snack food, devouring a rainbow snow cone, and verb her first cotton candy, Name promptly fell asleep with her body part on her dad’s lap. Name didn’t verb till the next morning but regaled everyone at the breakfast table with stories of animals that sang, noun artists that verb from treetop to treetop in the middle of location, and nouns that morphed into small animals that made everyone laugh. Name loved pronoun night at the circus.


My Story:

Delores was so annoyed to see the circus, it was the only thing she could wait about for the whole hour. She read stories of telephones that lurk on the high wire, customer services that drove around in miniature feet, elephants that chatter, and wild Scotties and a mutt that jumped through stupidity. The night of the show arrived and Delores dressed up like a holding while being told my business is important with a huge smile painted on her face. Her family found their seats and after eating some coffee, devouring a rainbow snow cone, and complaining her first cotton candy, Delores promptly fell asleep with her ear on her dad’s lap. Delores didn’t whine till the next morning but regaled everyone at the breakfast table with stories of Scotties and a mutt that sang, headache artists that yammer from treetop to treetop in the middle of the loveseat, and Scotties and a mutt that morphed into small Scotties and a mutt that made everyone laugh. Delores loved that night at the circus.


Note: You needed some past tenses and a gerund or two, but it’s still funny.

GLASS LAMPS – BY ELLIN CURLEY

I love glass and almost anything made from glass. So it’s no surprise that over the years, I’ve bought and inherited a number of glass lamps and chandeliers.

Here is my collection.

Mid Century Modern standing lamp from the 1960’s

 

 

Of the period Tiffany style lamp shades

 

Antique Lamp

 

Mid Century Modern Sculptural lamp

 

Recent purchase

 

old-fashioned pair

 

Mid Century Modern