HAVE A NICE DAY – Garry Armstrong

I was exiting our local supermarket, hoping I’d gotten everything on the list without any frivolous spending.  I didn’t see the wet spot. In the blur of a second, I lost my balance, fell backward and cursed loudly.  My reflexes are still Gyrene sharp so I braced my fall with my hands but still landed hard on my bony bum.

Embarrassing,  irritating and painful!

I looked up as shoppers passed by me. I’m not sure if I was grinning (an automatic TV News reporter instinctive reflex) or wincing. I know I was still groaning and cursing my clumsiness.

Photo: Garry Armstrong

A thirty-something woman stopped to observe my dilemma.  She had big blonde hair,  an Olympic-sized bosom, and a provocative smile.  I was transfixed between my fall,  efforts to get up and returning a steady gaze to the lovely passerby.

“Have a nice day,  honey, ” she gushed in pseudo-Marilyn Monroe honey-dripped tones.  She was quickly gone as I struggled to my feet.

Now, I was angry. It wasn’t the first time I’d undergone such an embarrassing public accident. What’s the matter with people these days? How did they get like this? I am living in a world I don’t recognize. Do you recognize it? Is this some bizarre parallel universe?

Author: Garry Armstrong

As a reporter for Channel 7 in Boston for 31 years, I was witness to most of the major events affecting the region. I met a lot of people ... politicians, actors, moguls, criminals and many regular folks caught up in extraordinary situations. Sometimes, I write about the people I've met and places I've been. Sometimes, I write about life, my family, my dogs and me. Or what might otherwise be called Life.

46 thoughts on “HAVE A NICE DAY – Garry Armstrong”

  1. Ugh. You’ll probably be sore and maybe a little stiff in the morning. I can’t believe that woman with the “big blonde hair and Olympic-sized bosom.” I got a chuckle out of your description of her, down to her Marilyn Monroe voice. Ha!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. At least she didn’t film you on her smart phone and then rush home so she could show the world on Instagram!!

    We’ve become the Planet Bizarro from the Superman comic. It looks pretty much the same planet – but the people are weird here!

    I put it down to the tremendous stress to our nervous systems from having to try and keep up with the ever-changing pace of technology of ‘The Jones’es’ !

    From the video i saw today it’s about to get a very lot worse, very fast. The tech they have already developed and are working to ‘improve on’ is yet to hit the mainstream… i hope it never does because we will no longer be recognisably human afterwards – even Bizarro world would look promising by comparison.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Bob, as usual, you find the gold in a crazy moment. Yes, I’m lucky she didn’t record my fall from grace for social network gawkers. I’ve noticed people immediately taking phone pics at an accident before trying to help the victim. Priorities, eh?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Same here. 😦

        The world we live in is certainly different in a number of ways, but people still have good hearts – even if shown in different ways than we are familiar with.

        We had a bad terrorist incident In our second largest city, Melbourne last week. A muslim extremist from Somalia rove a pick-up into the CBD loaded with gas bottles and set it on fire then tried to stab pedestrians in the street. Killed one and attacked two police officers (who EVENTUALLY shot him – but not before he tied stabbing both of them multiple times!!!) while this was happening a homeless man grabbed a shopping trolley and tried helping the officers by ramming their attacker with it (hero).

        After the clip was shown on our news a ‘GoFundMe’ page was set up for the guy living on the city street – it raised it’s target of $145,000 in two days!

        So there is still good in this Bizarro world.

        It is Bizarro though as the follow on is:

        The guy helping the police was wanted by the police at the time for robbery and burglary charges! He handed himself in on Friday and has been charged with stealing $500 from a business and stealing a $2000 pushbike from a ‘locked’ apartment building foyer. He’s awaiting sentencing. He has a drug habit/health issues.

        The money will be kept in trust until such time as he can get it together – if he can?

        You could not write a film script this weird – could you?

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Yes, Garry, definitely parallel universe with slick places everywhere these days. I love the post. Wondered whether you’ll go back to the store at the same time tomorrow hoping for a second encounter with Marilyn Monroe. Then I realized. Marilyn’s waiting for you every time you go home.🤷‍♂️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, Gordon, parallel universe, indeed. Reminds me of an old joke shared in myriad TV newsrooms. You’re in an accident and manage to call in to advise your superior of the dilemma. The first inquiry — “Did you get video?” So, maybe it’s TV news karma come back to bite me. However, I was never that indifferent when spotting an accident. My first impulse — check on the victim. Seems the normal and right thing to do.

      As for your “Marilyn” reference, you bet your bippy.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. So sorry about your fall and glad you lived to tell about it. That kind of experience is always so jarring to the bones and system. I don’t understand the reactions of the people nearby and certainly not the blonde bombshell’s farewell. In the universe we once lived it, there was courtesy and care from others in this type of situation and we still expect it. So far, I have experienced unexpected kindness in my neighbors and citizens of my little town of Studio City. In the larger world, , there is a coldness and cruelty that has manifested itself in our country since Trump started spewing his hatred of everybody except himself. I find this terrifying. We just have to hold hands and carefully cross the streets together.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am always startled by that kind of indifference. Yes, it’s the response expected from Donzo and his disciples. But — the rest of us really should know better. The coldness and numbness is, indeed, terrifying. It’s an ironic twist on Williams’ “Kindness of strangers” line.

      Like

    1. Scribbles, thanks. I’m fine. I’m a klutz and used to such public moments.
      There was that moment, years ago, when I walked smack dab into a glass door. It was so clean. A giggling toddler asked his Mom, “why did that man walk into the door?” Mom replied, “That’s Mr. Armstrong, the TV News reporter. He often does strange things. Don’t laugh at him, honey. It’s not polite”.

      Liked by 3 people

  5. ‘..and Olympic sized bosom and a provocative smile..’ Garry, I am still trying to unsee that. But I am laughing too hard. It can be tough to see over the girls, sometimes, if they are that big. ps: I hope you are OK.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lois, give me props for my old reporter’s vigilance even in a very awkward moment. I think I laughed at myself and then felt a swell of irritation at the woman’s indifference. Was she mocking me? I don’t know.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Sorry to hear about your fall Garry. I hope all is well.
    I remember my mother had a fall coming out of church and the people just walked over and by her. She was so upset and this happened, at least, some 60 or 70 years ago. Another time another lady had a fall and my mother came to her rescue. The lady was so grateful she gave my mother a beautiful pair of crystal vases. I have those vases today.
    Leslie

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Leslie, it’s hard to swallow that moment involving your Mom’s fall at church and the ensuing indifference. “Sunday Worshippers” at their best. I think our response is immediate when we see someone in jeopardy. Immediate assistance! Should be instinctive. When did it all change?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I think there has always been a certain amount of indifference to the “other”. Caring and immediate assistance is so important and I agree, it should be instinctive. Maybe we have to teach it better.
        Leslie

        Liked by 1 person

  7. May that dame step in mud to her Olympic sized knees. Im wondering if she didn’t just think you were loaded, and fell over yourself.
    Even at that, she was a damned rude bitch.

    Im glad nothing broke, or got too damaged.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Judy, a “good” point. About a drunken moment. But it wasn’t. I usually check on people who’ve seemingly had a bad booze moment. Just to make sure they are okay. We shouldn’t be judgemental in such instances.

      I like your description of the woman. What’s the cliche about “Pretty on the outside…….”.

      Nothing broken or damaged. Not even my pride.

      Thanks, Judy.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Covert, you’re so right. In my mental replay, I wonder if the woman was mocking me. Folks are not big on empathy or sympathy these days.

      Like

    1. Ruth, I’m an old Gyrene. My D.I. Would be laughing at my “plight”. He would probably yell at me, “Boot, suck it up!” I would. I did.

      Liked by 1 person

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